The Gold Hunter's Adventures Or, Life In Australia Volume 2 ( Of 2 ) by William H. Thomes (books to read in your 30s TXT) 📕

That No One Is Coming To My Assistance, And A Poor Beau Is Better Than

None, As We Used To Say In Radcliff Highway." And When I Extended My

Hand, She Grasped It Warmly, Pressed It Strongly, And With A Display Of

Ankles That Put My Modesty To Its Severest Test, Gave A Spring, And Was

On The Ground Beside Me.

"Well, You Ain't So Bad Looking As I Thought For," Maria Continued,

Flashing A Wicked Glance At Me, With Her Large Eyes, That Stirred My

Blood, In Defiance Of Her Forwardness And Vulgarity. "We Shall Be

Cronies, I Know. Only Let Me Have My Own Way, And Make Love To Me, And

We Shall Get Along Quite Pleasantly."

"But You Forget Your Husband," I Insinuated, Seeing That That Worthy

Individual Began To Look Rather Black At The Idea Of Having A Rival In

His Wife's Affections.

"O Lord! What's The Use Of Mentioning Barney? He's A Poor Coot, And Will

Soon Get Used To My Ways; Won't You, Deary?"

The Husband Didn't Make An Audible Reply, But I Understood Him To Say

"Damn," Quite Distinctly.

"What Have You Got For Supper!" Our Female Visitor Asked. "I'm Hungry

Enough To Eat A Two-Year-Old Baby. Let Me Have Something, That's A Good

Feller, And Then We'll Talk About Other Matters."

I Didn't Admire Her Impudence, But As Fred Was Inclined To Keep In The

Background, And Smith Wouldn't Respond, I Had To Do The Honors Of The

House With As Much Dignity As Possible. I Seated Her At Our Rough Table,

And Helped Her Liberally, And Was Pleased To See That Absence From Her

Haunts In London Had Not Diminished Her Appetite, Or Caused A Regretful

Feeling In Her Heart.

"I'm Glad I Accepted The Chance To Visit This Country," She Said, "For I

Begin To Like It. The Old Fogies Promised That I Should Have A Husband

As Soon As I Arrived, And They Kept Their Word, But I Wished That I'd

Got A Larger One. I Don't Like Little Men, And Never Did."

Her Husband Was Heard To Observe That He Preferred A Quiet Woman To A

Noisy One, But The Remark Didn't Seem To Make Much Of An Impression.

"By The Way," Mrs. Barney Cried, "Where Am I To Sleep To-Night? In That

Little Room?"

Before We Could Answer Her, She Arose From The Table And Ran Towards It,

And Saw Our Patient Lying Upon The Bed.

"Hullo!" She Exclaimed, In Astonishment, "What Is That Old Fellow Doing

There? I Can't Have Him With Me!"

I Explained To Her That A Bed Had Been Provided In A Tent But A Few Feet

From The Store, Where She And Her Husband Could Make Themselves

Comfortable, If They Were So Disposed, But She Would Not Listen To Me.

"Do You S'pose," She Cried, "That I'm Such A Fool As To Sleep Out Under

A Tent, Where I Shall Be Liable To Be Eaten Up By The Savages? My Old

Man Can Sleep There, But I'm Going To Pass The Night In The Store."

We Assured Her That We Could Not Consent To Any Such Arrangement. That

All Our Papers And Every Thing That We Possessed In The World Was In The

Store, And That We Could Not Think Of Leaving Under Any Consideration

Whatever.

"Well, Who Wants You To Leave?" She Demanded, With A Flash Of Her

Amorous Eyes, That Would Have Told Powerfully On Men Of More Nerve Than

Ourselves; "There Can Be No Harm If I Stay Here. You Are Men Of Honor, I

Suppose?"

Again Did Her Large, Black Eyes Fall Upon Me, But I Was Blind To Her

Blandishments And Arts; And, At Length, Maria Appeared To Entertain The

Same Opinion, For She Threw Out Signals To Fred, And When She Found That

They Were Not Answered, She Commenced The Practice Of A Thousand Arts,

Which A Woman Knows So Well How To Use, To Make Him Feel An Interest In

Her Welfare. But All Her Play Was Useless, And Even When She Pretended

That Her Hair, Long, Black, And Wavy, Fell Around Her Shoulders

Accidentally, And When She Laughed, And Threw It Back From Her Fresh,

Child-Like Face, We Were Not Melted, For We Remembered That She Had A

Husband, And That His Rights Were Sacred.

Her Bold Challenge Was Unheeded, And Maria Felt That She Was Defeated,

Even Where She Was Sure Of Victory. She Had, Apparently, Entertained A

Different Idea Respecting Us, And For A Few Minutes She Sat Looking

Humbled, But Not Ashamed. It Seemed A Pity That One So Fair Should Be So

Rude And Vile; But The Streets Of London Soon Corrupt, And The Haunt

From Whence Maria Graduated Is Notorious For Its Wantons.

We Pitied Her Husband, Although We Had Only Known And Employed Him For A

Short Time, Yet We Had Found Him Honest And Industrious, And Apparently

Disposed To Do Well. I Could See That He Felt Grateful For The Course

Which We Had Pursued, And I Determined To Have A Long Talk With Him,

Upon The First Favorable Opportunity, In Regard To His Future Prospects.

"Well," Maria Muttered, After Sitting In Silence For A Short Time,

Suddenly Starting Up, "If I Am To Be Turned Out Of Doors. I Suppose That

I Must Go Without Delay. Come Along, Old Man, If You Are Coming," She

Continued, Addressing Her Husband, And The Latter Obediently Followed To

The Tent, Which We Had Been To Some Pains To Prepare For Her.

"Thank Heaven, She Has Gone," Said Smith, Fervently, Raising His Head,

Like A Camel After A Cloud Of Dust Had Passed Over A Desert; "Only Think

What My Wife Would Have Said, If She Had Insisted Upon Sleeping In The

Same Room With Us. And Yet I Feared That She Would Carry Her Point, For

She Is As Determined A Vixen As Ever Assumed The Form Of Woman."

The Matrimonial Life Of Poor Barney Was Not A Lengthy One; And I May As

Well Follow It To A Close, While I Am Writing Upon The Subject. At His

Request We Paid Him Off, And Hired Another Man To Drive The Second Team.

He Had Money Enough To Commence Housekeeping, Or Rather Tent-Keeping, On

A Very Respectable Scale, And With The Funds Which He Had Left,

Purchased A Mining Claim, Nearly Worked Out To Be Sure, But Still,

Considerable Sums Of Gold Had Been Taken From It, And Quite A Number Of

Nuggets Of Fair Size Had Been Secured.

The Claim Was Very Near Our Store, So That Our Advice Was Frequently

Required By Poor Barney, Who Led Rather A Hard Life Of It, Toiling As He

Did All Day Under Ground, In Wet And Cold Places, And When Night

Arrived, Half Of The Time He Would Have To Get His Own Supper, His

Amiable Wife Being On Visits Of Privacy To People In The Neighborhood.

For The First Few Weeks Of Their Residence At Ballarat The Ill-Matched

Couple Did All Of Their Trading At Our Store, Until At Length So Many

Stimulating Luxuries Were Purchased By Maria, That Barney Requested Us

To Refuse Her Credit, Which, In Compliance With His Wishes, We Did, And

Received Such A Torrent Of Abuse From The Wife For So Doing, That We

Wished Her Back To Her Old Haunts, In Radcliff Highway, And Had Serious

Thoughts Of Attempting To Recover Damages From The "Moral Emigration

Society" Which Exported Her. For A Woman With So Fair A Face, She Had

The Vilest Tongue That I Ever Heard.

After The Credit System Was Abolished, Maria Transferred Her Favors To A

Store On Gravel Pit Hill, Where, For A Time, She Was Quite A Favorite,

And Thrived Wonderfully; But Her Husband Got Wind Of Her Doings, And

Threatened To Shoot The First Man That He Saw Taking Improper Liberties

With His Property, And That Rather Dashed The Spirits Of The Gallants,

For Barney Was Bold As A Lion, And Carried A Pair Of Very Good Pistols

In His Belt, In Addition To A Bowie Knife Of Wondrous Keenness.

The Poor, Depraved Woman, Finding That She Was Watched, And That Her

Male Companions Kept Aloof, After The Threat Which Barney Made, Got Up A

Clandestine Correspondence With A Young Fellow Who Was Smitten With Her

Pretty Face, And To Put A Stop To It Barney Was Obliged To Break One Of

His Rival's Arms With A Pistol Bullet, One Morning, Just As He Was

Putting A Letter Under A Log That Stood In Front Of His Tent.

The Wife, For The First Few Days, Refused To Be Comforted, And Then She

Apparently Forgot The Matter, And Seemed To Care No More About It. To

Her Husband's Surprise, She Paid More Attention To His Comfort Than

Usual--Remained At Her Tent While He Was Absent, Forsook The Company Of

Strange Men Entirely, No Longer Run In Debt, And Such A Complete Change

Was Observed In Her, That The Rev. Mr. Blackburn Ventured To Call Once,

And Inquire If Her Sinful Heart Had Melted. What Answer Maria Returned

Is Unknown, As The Reverend Gentleman Never Divulged; But It Was Noticed

That He Left Her Tent Walking Quite Rapidly, And That He Never Ventured

There A Second Time.

I Think That It Was About Six Weeks After Barney Had Broken The

Gallant's Arm, That He Suddenly Presented Himself In The Store, His Face

Radiant With Happiness.

"I've Got Some Good News For You," He Said, Rubbing His Hands With

Satisfaction.

"What Is It, Barney?" I Inquired; "Have You Found A Nugget?"

"Better Than That," He Cried.

"Then You Have Found A Chunk."

"No; Something Better Than That--Ten Times Better."

"Well, Relate It. We Are Impatient To Learn What Good Has Befallen You."

"You Would Never Guess," Barney Said, In A Mysterious Manner, As Though

What He Had To Impart Would Bear Keeping For Some Time; "But," And Here

His Face Once More Beamed With Smiles, "My Wife Has Cut Stick."

"What Do You Mean--Run Away?" I Asked, Surprised At The Intelligence.

"That Is What I Mean. She Has Run Off With The Fellow Whose Arm I Broke

Some Time Since; And She Not Only Took Her Clothes, But She Seized Every

Thing Of Value I Had In The Tent. They Have Got Six Hours The Start Of

Me, But I Think--"

He Paused, And Seemed To Consider For A Moment.

"You Think That You Can Overtake Them," I Suggested; "I Have No Doubt

But That You Can, And The Best Horse That We Own Is At Your Disposal."

"O, Bless Your Heart, I Was Not Considering The Subject In That Light,"

He Answered, "I Was Thinking Whether I Should Advertise That I Would Not

Be Responsible For Any Debts That She Contracts."

I Told Him That I Thought He Need Give Himself No Uneasiness On That

Score; But Barney Was A Mathematical Body, And Always Desired To Do

Business On The Square; And As He Seemed So Set Upon Writing An

Advertisement, I Furnished Him Ink And Paper, And After A Laborious

Process, He Wrote The Following, Which I Copy _Verbatim_.

"Notice.--My Wife, Maria Barney, The Ugliest Woman That Ever Lived, Has

Left My Tent And Board Without Any Justifiable Cause, 'Cos I Use To Do

All That I Could Do To Make Her Pretty Comfortable, And In Spite Of My

Wishes, She Would Cut Up Like The Devil, And Run After Other Men. Now, I

Want All Men To Notice This Act Of Mine. I Won't Pay A D----D Cent Of

Her Debts, And I Hope No One Will Return Her To Me, 'Cos I Don't Want

Her. Jim Barney."

I Persuaded Barney That The Announcement Would Be Valid In Law, If He

Only Stuck It Up In The Store, Where It Could Be Read By The Miners, And

It May Be There Until This Day, For All That I Know.

What Trifles Will Sometimes Change The Destiny Of A Man!

Barney, After His Wife Had Left Him So Unexpectedly, Earnestly Desired

To Give Up Mining And Return To His First Love,--The Driving Of Cattle

And Teaming. We Tried To Persuade Him To Stick