The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane by Alain René le Sage (good books to read in english .TXT) 📕

life, and find employment for your secretary till his wrist

aches, take my word for it.

I like your open dealing, said Ambrose with a nod of approbation.

To point out a man so capable of speaking to the bad morals of

Simon, is an instance of Christian charity as well as of

religious zeal. I shall report you very favourably to the

inquisition. Make haste, therefore; go and fetch this Gaspard, of

whom you speak; but do the thing cautiously, so that his master

may have no suspicion of what is going forward. The multiplier of

scores acquitted himself of his commission with due diligence and

laudable privacy. Our little shopman came along with him. The

youth had a tongue with a tang, and was just the sort of fellow

that we wanted. Welcome, my good young man! said Lamela, You

behold in me an inquisitor, appointed by that venerable body to

collect informations against Samuel Simon, on an accusation of

still adhering to Judaism in his secret devotions. You are an

inmate of his family, consequently you must be an eye-witness to

many of his most private transactions. It probably may be

unnecessary to warn you, that you are obliged in conscience, and

by fear of punishment, to declare all you know about him,

notwithstanding any promise to the contrary, when I order you so

to do on the part of the holy inquisition. May it please your

reverence, answered the plodding little rascal, I am quite ready

to satisfy your heart’s desire on that head, without being

commanded thereto in the name of the holy office. If ever my

acquittal was to depend on my master’s character of me, I am

persuaded that my chance would be a sorry one; and for that

reason, I shall serve him as he would serve me. And I may tell

you in the first place, that he is a fly-by-night whose

proceedings it is no easy matter to take measure of; a man who

puts on all the starch formalities of an inveterate religionist,

but at bottom has not a spark of principle in his composition. He

goes every evening dangling after a little girl no better than

she should be… . I am vastly glad indeed to find that,

interrupted Ambrose, because I plainly perceive, by all you have

been telling me, that he is a man of corrupt morals and

licentious practices. But answer point by point to the questions

I shall put to you. It is above all on the subject of religion

that I am commissioned to inquire into his sentiments and

conduct. Pray tell me, do you eat much pork at your house? I do

not think, answered Gaspard, that we have seen it at table twice

in the year that I have lived with him. Better and better!

replied the paragon of inquisitors write down in legible

characters that they never eat pork in Samuel Simon’s family. But

as a set-off against that, doubtless a joint of lamb is served up

every now and then? Yes, every now and then, rejoined the

apprentice; we killed one for our own consumption about last

Easter. The season is pat and to the purpose, cried the

ecclesiastical commissioner. Come, write down, that Simon keeps

the passover: This goes on merrily to a complete conviction; and

it seems, we have got a good serviceable information here.

Tell me again, my friend, pursued Lamela, whether you have not

often seen your master fondle young children. A thousand times,

answered Gaspard. When he sees the little urchins playing about

before the shop, if they happen to be pretty, he calls them in

and makes much of them. Write that down, be sure you write that

down! interrupted the inquisitor. Samuel Simon is very grievously

suspected of lying in wait for Christian children, and enticing

them into his den to circumcise them. Vastly well! vastly well,

indeed, Master Simon! you will have an account to settle with the

society for the suppression of Judaism, take my word for it. Do

not take it into your savage head that such bloody sacrifices are

to be perpetrated with impunity. A pretty use you make of baptism

and shaving! Cheer up, religious Gaspard, thou foremost of elect

apprentices! Make a full confession of all thy master’s sins;

complete thine honest testimony by telling us how this simular of

a Catholic is more than ever wedded to his Jewish customs and

ceremonies. Is it not a fact, that one day in the week he sits

with his hands before him, and will not even perform the most

necessary offices for himself? No, answered Gaspard, I have not

exactly observed that. What comes nearest to it is that on some

days he shuts himself up in his closet, and stays there a long

time. Ay! now we have it, exclaimed the commissary. He keeps the

sabbath, or I am not an inquisitor. Note that particularly,

officer; note that he observes the fast of the sabbath most

superstitiously! Out upon him! What a shocking fellow! One

question more, and his business is done. Is not he always

parleying about Jerusalem? Pretty often indeed, replied our

informer. He knows the Old Testament by heart, and tells us how

the temple of Jerusalem was destroyed. The very thing! resumed

Ambrose. Secretary! be sure you do not neglect that feature of

the case. Write, in letters of an inch long, that Samuel Simon

has contracted with the devil for the rebuilding of the temple,

and that he is plotting day and night for the re-establishment of

his nation. That is all I want to know; and it is labour in vain

to pursue the examination any further. What Gaspard, in the

spirit of truth and charity, has deposed, would be sufficient to

make a bonfire of all Jewry.

When the august mouth-piece of the holy tribunal had sifted the

little scoundrelly apprentice after this manner, he told him he

might go about his business; at the same time commanding him,

under the severest penalties of the inquisition, not to say a

word to his master about what was going forward. Gaspard promised

implicit obedience, and marched off. We were not long in coming

after him: our procession from the inn was as grave and solemn as

our pilgrimage thereunto, till we knocked at Samuel Simon’s door.

He opened it in person. Three figures such as ours might have

dumbfounded a better man; but his face was as long as a lawsuit,

when Lamela, our spokesman, said to him in a tone of authority:

Master Samuel, I command you in the name of the holy inquisition,

whose delegate I have the honour to be, to give me the key of

your closet without murmur or delay. I want to see if I cannot

find wherewithal to corroborate certain hints which have been

communicated to us respecting you.

The son of commerce, aghast at these sounds of melancholy import,

reeled two steps backward, just as if some one had given him a

blow in the breadbasket. Far from smelling a rat in this pleasant

trick of ours, he fancied in good earnest that some secret enemy

had made him an object of suspicion to the holy hue-and-cry; and

it might possibly have happened that, from being rather clumsy at

his new duties as a Christian, he might be conscious of having

laid himself open to serious animadversion. However that might

be, I never saw a man look more foolish. He did as he was ordered

without saying nay; and opened all his lock-up places with the

sheepish acquiescence of a man, who stood in awe of an

ecclesiastical rap on the knuckles. At least, said Ambrose as he

went in, at least you are not a contumacious oppugner of our

resistless mandates. But withdraw into another room, and leave me

to fulfil the duties of my station without profane observers.

Samuel did not set his face against this command any more than

against the first: but kept himself quiet in his shop, while we

went all three of us into his closet, where, without loss of

time, we laid an embargo on his cash. It was no difficult matter

to find it; for it lay in an open coffer, and in much larger

quantity than we could carry away. There were a great many bags

heaped up; but all in silver. Gold would have been more to our

mind; but, as robbers must not be choosers any more than beggars,

we were obliged to yield to the necessity of the case. Not only

did we line our pockets with ducats; but the most unsearchable

parts of our dress were made the receptacles of our filchings.

Yet was there no outward shew of the heavy burden under which we

tottered; thanks to the cunning contrivance of Ambrose and Don

Raphael, who proved that there is nothing like being master of

one’s trade.

We marched out of the closet, after having feathered our nests

pretty warmly; and then, for a reason which the reader will have

no great difficulty in guessing, the worshipful inquisitor

produced his padlock, and fixed it on the door with his own

hands: he affixed moreover his own seal, and then said to Simon:

Master Samuel, I forbid you, in the name of the holy inquisition,

to touch either this padlock or this seal, which it is your

bounden duty to hold sacred, since it is the authentic seal of

our holy office. I shall return hither this time to-morrow, then

and here to open my commission, and provisionally to take off the

interdict. With this injunction, he ordered the street door to he

opened, and we made our escape after the processional manner, out

of our wits with joy. As soon as we had marched about fifty

yards, we began to mend our pace into such a quick step,

aggravated by degrees into a leap and a bound, that we were

almost like vaulters and tumblers, in spite of the weight we

carried. We were soon out of town; and mounting our horses once

more, pushed forward towards Segorba, with many a pious

ejaculation to the God Mercury, on the happy issue of so bold an

attempt.

CH. II — The determination of Don Alphonso and Gil Blas after

this adventure.

We travelled all night, according to our modest and unobtrusive

custom; so that we found ourselves at sunrise near a little

village two leagues from Segorba. As we were all tired to death,

it was agreed unanimously to strike out of the highway, and rest

under the shade of some willows, which we saw at the foot of a

little hill, about ten or twelve hundred yards from the village,

where it did not seem expedient for us to halt. These willows

furnished us with an agreeable retreat, by the side of a little

brook which bubbled as it washed their roots. The place struck

our fancy, and we resolved to pass the day there. We unbridled

our horses, and turned them out to grass, stretching our own

gentle limbs on the soft sod. There we courted the drowsy god of

innocent repose for a while, and then rummaged to the bottom of

our wallet and our wine-skin. After an ecclesiastical breakfast,

we counted up our ten tithes of Samuel Simon’s money; and it

mounted to a round three thousand ducats. So that with such a sum

and what we had before, it might be said, without boasting, that

we knew how to make both ends meet.

As it was necessary to go to market, Ambrose and Don Raphael,

throwing off their dresses now the play was over, said that they

would take that office conjointly on themselves: the adventure at

Xelva had only sharpened their wit, and they had a mind to