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Pain, love, sorrow, depressment, sucidal? Are all the parts of me? Are all these in my mind or is that how i really am. To dark to function no reliance but my self. It seems as the world hates you. I shouldn't feel this way,i am told but who am i to believe? The parents who taught me to believe in the impossiable or am i a child with parents that ignore me and don't care enough of me to see my emotions affect my way of life. Am i the only one in the world like this. Am i in this all alone. Will any one stop my screaming inside and out from being raped by a father or step from all the scars i have to hide or the love noone gives me.


I sit in my room blasting music loud trying to drown out mother screaming about thiing that don't make since, pissing off Ted, her new hubby, and doing the same for me. I want to just scream out loud but i don't want ted to yell at me or come near me any way not even to give me a million bucks. i hear mother cry over the heavy metal. i hear he yell for Ted to stop. When i heard that that told me to hide or the worst was yet to come. I run to my closet and hide under a pile of clothes putting on as many pants as i can, but befor i could ge on one everything gets quite. I listen for the foot steps upon the staira i don't hear abyhting i get out the closet and go toward the window i see mother get ibn t he car with a bruise above her right eye i stare as she drive away. I turn around to the sound of heavy breathing. I slide down the wall and buckle in my legs and let th tears fall down my face.

"Ahh!Damn stupid dryer!Why does this always happen?!" i screamed. It took me six monthes to save up enough money to get these pants and now they shrunk.My mom is going to kill me.
I threw the pants into the trash and went in the room."Oh shit its eight o'clock." i grabbed my baggy pants and my jacket and ran to the car. i got in and looked for my keys."Dawg!" i got out the car and ran back up stairs to get my keys. I ran past the kitchen and into the garage. I start the car and take off.I out the car and run to the front office.

Publication Date: 01-04-2011

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