I Write by Keona Brave (chrysanthemum read aloud TXT) 📕

I write
I write:
I relieve my pain in too many ways
Most of the time the pain just stays
Flowing throw my god forsaken veins
I am chained, I am chained
Release me I am pained
I put a stake through my heart, death be near
But I cannot be, I fear;
For there is an apparent god who has plans for me
But what if this is his plan
I no longer can
Master plan...
Take my hand
Pull me up
Save me
Save me
I want to be set free
This can no longer go on
I want to be new, re born, alive
I can survive
This ordeal
And his is my appeal


I write.

Why am I that girl, that girl who is talked about yet is still unknown to many, why is my life the way it is, questions questions questions, that’s all there is I cannot answer many but I can answer a few.
You know I had this haircut that just happened to be in the same style as Rhianna’s people would call me ‘that girl with the Rhianna hair’ apparently I had no other name other than that. I had no known identity, and I still feel that way. I am young I am foolish to the point where it can no longer be called foolishness but more over of a death wish; but perhaps that’s what I want a death wish, a wish of death to be whisked away by death himself and free of my demons that I have placed on this earth. I cannot say that I am religious nor can I say that I will end up in the places of religious after life, but to be fair don’t we all die, some die young and some die old it cannot be stopped, well not yet at least , but who in there right mind would want to live forever, you must leave this world at some point, and once you do the memories of you begin to fade until you are just a name on a headstone that someone just happened to read, this is my portray of life.

My troubled life begins when my parents broke up, I was young and remember very little of what happened but I remember enough to leave a scar, my parents were married for a few months when they decided to get divorced they obviously didn't see eye to eye, they would argue and rage , they probably think I was too young to remember but boy are they wrong I remember quite a bit, one think I remember and will never truly forget is when my dad left us, he came upstairs, upset he told me and my brother that he was going on a long shift of work and we would probably not see him again for a while, I'm sure he thinks I've forgot this, he never did come back well not for another 8 years at least. I loved my father dearly and for him to do that was heart breaking and was obviously something that wouldn't heal fast, even today it is steal healing, but I cannot tell him as I feel it would drive him to commit suicide.


Father part 1
Father : a man who is the parent of a human being, or a male animal that has produced offspring.
This is not what defines a father, a father should always be there for his children not be a hinderence and defiantly not be some phoney trying to win your mother over.
When I was 7 about two years after my mother and father divorced a new man was introduced as ‘father’, I will name him ‘D’ now ‘D’ is a man who was building the houses across the road to where I had lived, he would often come and visit my mum for a spot of tea and biscuits, now one day he suddenly moved in and the next I was walking home with my mother and she ask a favour of us “to call ‘D’ our father” or daddy as she said. Now I did not want to go against my mum , I mean at seven your mum is potentially the scariest person on earth and there was no way I was going to disobey her. Along with the sudden change of paternal parent my mother made me and my brother change our names to that of ‘D’s and like I said there was no way that I would go against mothers commands.
So I now have a new father and surname, we had to quickly adapt to this and it wasn't hard ‘D’ for all that I cared was my dad.
‘D’ was strict with bring me and my brother up he would constantly have arguments with my older brother sometimes they would be physical, and these fights were all over male dominants what was the point.

Text: Keona Braves
Images: Keona Brave
Publication Date: 10-27-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I write this for all those who have been there for me