Kevin's Story by Kevin S (librera reader txt) 📕

and make myself as small as I could. Never taking anything upon my self Hoping that it would end with just a look. I knew that everyone else had a memory like mine, so they would remember everything I did wrong, and build a case to throw me out of the family, after all I was just tag along. Adeline's son's kid.
you know the one who got dumped on her. I haven't written about it yet but I over heard my grandmother say if she just didn't have the kid she would be able to...........you fill in the blank.
Right next door. and I heard it many times
Let me stop this for now
So if you can find my questions in all if that I would like your opinion.
Kevin
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( I think I had made a mistake to mention “voice” at all; a fault left over from 8 years of teaching writing at the junior college level. He was doing just fine without knowing that.
Lots more correspondence followed about “was he doing it right, etc” but I was tickled pink. Reading his work was really the same pleasure I got when one of my students “woke up” and realized what a story was telling him.
I was waiting for his recovery story and his tying up of all the loose ends like Michelle and Kate and his son whose name I forgot. He replied:)

Good morning I'm just about to crawl into bed. But thought I could clear up some of your confusion
this is as much as I know about the Donner side of my family
Ben Donner was my great great grandfather. I had him in my life until I was 15
He used to tell me stories almost everyday when I lived in the store. He had three sons( I knew them all) Orly is the oldest. there was Orly Orvid, and Bernie
Orly Donner is my greatgrand father I had him in my life until I was 30. He is also the man who set me of the course of my life. He gave me the rule I try to live by He said " Kevin, try to do a good deed everyday, the best kind are the ones no one knows about, you may never get rewarded, but you’re building up brownie points in heaven"
I have changed that to say. everyday try to leave this world just a bit better than you found it this morning, and don't do it for a reward, do it because it's the right thing to do. So my whole recovery program is" I'm just a guy trying to do the next right thing"
Orly Donner and his wife Florence had five children. Adeline was the oldest( my grandmother)She married a Setzer.
Adeline and her first husband had two children Ronald Setzer, my father, and Judith ( my aunt)
Ronald and his first wife had two children Ronald Joseph and Kevin
As a side note when I was born we had five generations alive, made the local papers. And when my son Forrest was born we had five again, also made the local papers.
I guess I never did tell you my son Forrest in now 28 and a whopping 6'7" and weights 275
My baby girl Katheryn is 24 and a long 5'10"
I'll be up for about another 1/2 hour .
So any questions?


(.Kevin, dear: Tell me about the time from High School graduation through your first marriage.)


age 15
Spent a night with a shotgun under my chin, I wanted the pain I was in to end. Never told anyone about it. I never felt like I fit in, I was a burden. Vowed to do better, The problem was me I had to be a good kid, in order to stay. I was a good kid, very good grades, track star, had a job making fair money.
age 17
Went to college, partial scholarship for track. But I discovered pot, this was a whole new ball game. I felt free. I loved how it made me feel, I smoked a lot. Joined a Frat, I lived the movie Animal House. I was never really a joiner, I knew if people “found out who I really was” I would be banned from society.
age 19
Met my future wife Betsy. I felt like someone loved me, really for the first time in my life. But I knew if she found out who I really was ............
Moved in together over the objection of her parents. I wasn't doing well in school so dropped out got a job bar tending and paid our expenses. while she finished school.
age 23
Married Betsy, after she had finished school. I had a good job and we had lots of fun. drank a lot. But it was good.
age 24
The time was right, we were set up in good shape. I went back to school. half way thru first semester came home on a Tuesday night to find the table set for a nice dinner, Half away through dinner she told me that "we're pregnant". Rather a shock because we had agreed that No kids until I had finished school. She had quit the pill without telling me.
age 25
We had lost the home set up, because of the kid coming we were resident manger of a 85 unit apartment complex. And Betsy wanted Maternity leave. We sued and won but we were still out on our ass. Move to another city, I found a very good job. So things were looking good, Healthy son (Forrest). But the trust was gone. I started to drink more.
age 28
Katherine was born, again unplanned. Betsy refused to go back on the pill. I came home drunk and refused to use a condom.
age 29
Betsy and I seperated lots of reasons. My drinking a big one. there is a long story here. I moved in with a cousin, really started to drink and do drugs. Lost my good job from drinking.
age 29
After my Grandmother's death, and my father's offer. I moved to VA. I needed a fresh start and to get away from all the drinking and drugs. never really did drugs after that and cut way back on my drinking for a couple of years. I had two jobs while in VA both very good ones.
age 31
Met Michele, at work. She was coming off of an abusive relationship ; was living in a battered womens shelter. She moved in within a month. Things went well for about 3 months, then she started to do crack, it got to the point where I had to put her out, gave her the choice me or crack. made her stay away for three months. I felt used, she just wanted me for money She gave up crack and moved back in.
age 31-38
We lived in VA, both with jobs. It was a stormy relationship, getting drunk almost ever night.
There were a lot of police calls. But I thought bad love was better than no love, and this was the best I could get or deserved.
age 39
moved back to WI. To be near my children. Things went down hill from then. Michele wasn't happy, My good job turned out to be a pain, bad boss. I started to drink before work.
I quit that job and went to another but promptly lost it due to drinking.
age 40
my unemployment ran out and I “ committed suicide.”
Well enough for tonight. But hopefully you have a better idea of my story. My recovery is a story of over coming.


(Here, Kevin asked if it was ok for me to do this work for so little money, given my background. I told him “full speed ahead,” I believe in you.)


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Good morning Letty:
I hope your belief isn't misplaced.
Well I'll get back to work, but just didn't have it in me the last couple of days. I was completely surprised my how much the writing I did on Sunday took out of me. I was just emotionally flat the last couple of days.
And St Pat's day was more than a little bit crazy. Have I told you I work in a Detox facility? And there are a lot of stories I could tell you about that place. Most of clients are brought in by police, for being incapacitated.But we do get those who want to get sober and stay that way.
My working there is like 40 hour per week AA meeting. Nothing about people being drunk is funny any more. One thing that has happened from my working there is that I sometimes talk to people at three in the morning, when they can't sleep and are open to new ideas. I tell them my story and the fact that staying sober in not easy, But the rewards are more than they would believe. When I tell them about rewards, I talk about a nice little apartment and half way decent car.
But the biggest reward is the way my kids look at me. They have both told me how very proud they are of me. I have a much better relationship with them I deserve. And for me, a very big reason to work there is, every now and then someone will pull me aside after a meeting and tell me " you know you helped me decide to take a real chance and try to stay sober" and then they thank me for talking to them. It makes up for a lot of cleaning up puke and piss and shit.
About month ago a guy stopped me coming out of a board meeting and asked if I remembered him. I had to be honest and say no, sorry. Then he asked if I remember talking to him at detox, Again I had to say I talk to a lot of people at work. He told me not to worry he knew I talked to a lot of people. He was up from Janesville WI a town about 40 miles away for a young peoples meeting at my home clubhouse. And had hoped he would run into me. I laughed and told nope I didn't do it you must have the wrong guy. He got a very serious look on his face and said I gave him the courage to try and deal with life head on, and quit hiding in a bottle. I had to tell him that I may have shown you that it is passable, but the courage is all yours. He laughed and told me that if anybody as fucked up as you were can come back I had a chance( a left handed complement if I ever here one).
He got serious and said no really he credits me with giving him the nerve to try. Well I had to look away for a second, I was choked up. And that if