Kevin's Story by Kevin S (librera reader txt) 📕

power.
These people had more power than I did, that made them a power greater than me, and for the most part they seemed some what sane. Maybe they could restore me to sanity. You only have to hit me with a brick a few times before I get the message. I should listen and follow their advice; these crazy people seemed to care about each other. They didn’t ask you to earn their love and care. And that was a completely new idea, up until now I felt I had to earn everything, anyone “gave” me.
So I took the second step.

Step 3 Made the decision to turn or will and our lives over to God as we understood him.
Another hard step for me at first. God I didn’t understand at all. Just a couple of months ago I took my last breath. Everyone said I should not be alive, and I agreed. So why was I still alive, I had been stabbed in the chest thirteen times, I shouldn’t be. People kept telling me God had a plan for me, my will to live was stronger than my pain. There must be a reason God kept you alive. I just kept telling them, okay, maybe. I had no idea, and still don’t.
I settled the issue in my mind by giving up, trying to answer the question.
I decided to just go with the flow, and try and not worry if there was a greater plan for me. I decided to just keep trying to do the next right thing. And the next right thing and be all most anything. Early on it was getting up cleaning my self up, and doing what ever I was supposed to do. In treatment it meant going to groups and really trying to participate. To be honest with
the group and especially myself. It meant to go to meetings and really trying to share. It meant gong to my shrink and having the guts to really open up and let another human see who I really was. This was terrifying. I had never really trusted anyone for as long as I could remember. But to give sobriety an honest try I had to do it. And in my book an honest try means giving it your best effort. When ever I was unsure as to what the next right thing was, I asked some people I trusted and felt knew what they were talking about.
When there was no one to ask, I would sit as quite as my mind would let me and try to listen to that little voice we all have in our heads. That voice our parents tried to instill in us. We know right from wrong, and if we really listen to that voice and try to do our best by ourselves and others, we don’t go to far wrong.
Now my whole recovery program can be stated in just a few words. I’m just a guy who is trying to do the next right thing. And if that little voice comes from God well, fine, I don’t care. I am going to give this living stuff my best shot. I’m going to do the next right thing what ever that means at the time, especially when it come to others.

I was afraid that Kevin couldn’t give a sincere account of going through the steps of the AA program, a process I found essential. I was also afraid he was losing his momentum for this entire project. I expressed these notions, and he replied:


Hi Letty
No not at all, I very much want to continue. Have been very busy of late. I'll work on the rest of the steps and have something for you very soon. I have been asked to speak to 140 nursing students tomorrow am; that will be the biggest crowd yet.
I have been through all the steps Letty. I never really had a normal sponsor. I did have about four people I would ask for advice.
I did the fourth and fifth step with a shrink. It tool me a very long time to open up. but it was that or die. It took about a year after I sobered up to find a reason to live.
The511 Alano Society owns the building that the AA groups meet in. AA is not allowed to own property, so the Alano society holds the building in trust.
I was asked to be on the board for my people skills, I was a care taker at the club. I knew most everyone. At the next election I was reelected and voted VP.When the then President resigned, I became the Pres. And at the last election I was reelected. Not too bad for a homeless street drunk. The board sent me to a leadership conference, put on by a state wide organization for 12 step clubhouses state wide. They asked me a couple of months later if I would become part of the steering committee. So I'm also on that as well; we laid down the by-laws for the new Wisconsin association of 12 step clubhouses. They did ask if I might be interesting in running for that board, I turned that down in no time.
Well it's time for me to crawl in for the night, remember I work third shift.
Thanks again
Kevin

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Publication Date: 06-01-2011

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