Will I Ever Get Out Alive? by Alexandra Rader (howl and other poems txt) 📕

TABLE OF CONTENTS

3       Midnight

7       Chained

10     Finding Kayla

MIDNIGHT

"Kayla! You spilled your beer on my brand new dress!" I shrieked at my best friend.

 

She smiled at me drunkenly and shrugged her shoulders in apology. I sighed and sank to the floor, swirling the contents in my bottle.

 

Am I seriously the only one with a buzz, besides Kayla? I thought.

 

We had gone to a party at an abandoned bookstore and were having the time of our lives. I looked over at a corner of the store disgustedly.

 

Stupid whores, I thought, as I watched a girl of maybe thirteen let an older man touch her intimately. What is going on in our society?

 

I'm not a virgin, but I sure as hell am not a whore. As my friend Alexis woud joke, "There is a HUGE difference between being a whore and just enjoying sex!"

 

I laughed at the memory and wished for the thousandth time that she hadn't moved to California. I wondered what she was doing now, and if she missed me.

 

"AH!" I gasped as something vibrated in my bra. My phone was buzzing impatienty.

 

One new text message from Dad: "Where r u?"

 

"On my way. Trying 2 get kayla n da car." I answered.

 

I quickly stuffed my phone back in my lacy red bra and helped Kayla to her feet.

 

"Kitty Cat?" she called out drunkenly.

 

"Yes, Kayla. It's me," I said in a quiet voice.

 

She walked through the trash scattered about on the floor and only tripped once on our way to to my red shiny 2007 Jeep Compass. She tried to get into the drivers' seat, but at a long glare, she quickly changed direction.

 

I slid into the seat easily. This car is my baby. I don't let anyone drive it.

 

I eased onto the road and slowed for a Stop sign.

 

Fuck this! I thought, slamming my foot into the gas. We sped past houses and other cars, bushes and birds. I raced another car and won by a block. Until finally, I recognized my street. I turned, going straight until I saw my driveway.

 

Home Sweet Home, I thought sarcastically, for home was not exactly a place to be called "home."

 

I ushered Kayla out of the car and into the hous, flipping on only the kitchen light. I put some clean clothes on my bed for Kayla to change into, and then quietly made my way to the kitchen.

 

I opened up a cabinet and pulled out a shot glass.

 

Now this is what I need, I thought happily, pouring myself a shot and downing it.

 

I drank four more shots and tried to take a step forward. The ground threw itself at me and attacked my shoulder as I fell heavily to the floor, laughing. I grabbed the counter and hauled myself up. I looked over at the cloc to see that it read 11:09 P.M.

 

Making slow progress, I finally eased myself into the soft comfort of my queen size bed. Kayla was already asleep in the corner, snoring softly. I turnedoff my alarm clock and lay back into the pillows. It was lights out instantly.

 

 

 

----

 

 

 

 

I awoke with a start. Confused, my mind swirling in nonsense from fear and still heavy with the effects of alcohol. I sat up uncertainly, and saw a shadow move outside my window. Then I heard the slight whispers.

 

"Kayla?" I whispered urgently. "Wake up. Please wake up." She stirred, but continued snoring.

 

 Then came a came a crash from the living room. I screamed and threw myself into Kayla. This woke her and she slapped me across the face.

 

"Cat, wha-" she was interrupted as my bedroom window shattered, throwing glass into our faces and onto our trembling bodies. A cold wind blew in, knocking my lamp over. I watched it fall to the floor and crack, as if it were in slow motion. I glanced over at the clock. It read 12:00 on the dot.

 

Midnight? I thought.

 

Three men threw themselves through the window and landed on us with an "Umpf" of whooshing breaths.

 

I screamed and one of the men covered my mouth with a heavy hand. I gazed fearfully into his clear blue eyes. Kayla's mouth was also covered.

 

My door slammed open and three more men walked in. They were all dressed in black. Two of them walked towards us with clubs, and swung them hard against our heads.

 

"Why?" I whispered to my captors, tears in my eyes, before blacking out.

 

CHAINED

 Murmured secrets couldn't even pull me all the way into consciousness. I heard myself groan and try to move. It was useless. My arms were chainedto the top of a bed and my feet were tied to the bottom. Someone was laying beside me, playing with my dark tresses.

 

Playing with my hair?? I thought, as I jolted into full awakeness.

 

Clear blue eyes gazed back into my frightened ones. He whispered something sweetly in my ears, but I didn't hear him as I tried to choke back tears.

 

He jumped up and away from me, as the door was slammed open.

 

"Oh, you're awake I see," said one of the men, addressing me.

 

"Where am I?" I asked hoarsely, trying to make the fear disappear from my voice.

 

He laughed in my face and shoved a sock in my mouth so that I wouldn't scream.

 

"Well, she's all yours Justin. Have at it."

 

The man, the one that had been laying beside me, looked at me with sorrow filled eyes. That was Justin. He sighed and pulled out a knife. It looked wickedly sharp and it cast dancing lights when the dim light hit it right.

 

 

I started struggling and tried to spit the sock out to scream for help, but Justin put his hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes.

 

"Shhh," he said. "Don't struggle. It will all pass soon. Please don't make this any harder on me and on yourself."

 

Then he took the knife and gently cut my dress away from my stiff body. The man in the door way let out a low whistle.

 

"Will you look at that BODY?" he said enviously. "Damn, that girl could stop a steam boat! Take your time with this one Justin. Make it last!"

 

Then he shut the door and walked away laughing.

 

Justin looked at me, as he took his belt from his beige cargo pants. he then slid his shirt up and over his lean, muscled body showing off a farmers' tan. He seemed to have issues holding my gaze as he unzipped his pants and let them fall to his ankles. He stepped away from the discarded clothes with a hungry look in his eyes that was't there before.

 

"You will be mine," he whispered trumphantly.

 

He tore my silk pnties from my legs and stared long and hard at my naked and exposed body. I waited for him to start.

 

I gritted my teeth against the sock and closed my eyes as I felt him moving closer. I could feel his muscles bunch together as he laid on top of me. He kissed me softly at first, then more urgenty and passionately. Then he entered me. I bit back a scream. He entered me painfully, tearing at me. Thrusting as hard and as deep as he could. I was frightened. He was hurting me as no other had done.

 

Despite the pain, I felt my body begin to orgasm.

 

"No, bitch. Not this time. You don't get the pleasure of that."

 

Then he thrust himself even deeper into me and I was finally able to scream. Faster and faster he went. My legs began to feel wet.

 

Is that him, or me? I wondered faintly.

 

He kept going, despite my protests. Harder and deeper and faster. He just jept going and going and going. Finally he came in a burst, and I felt myself black out from the pain of the burn. He had torn me open too bad. I welcomed the darkness, as this man violated my body.

 

FINDING KAYLA

I woke up once more. Yet this time it was different. I was still on the bed yes, but I was curled up in the fetal position. My hands andmy feet were no longer tied.

 

I lay there for a moment longer and then rolled onto my other side to scan the room.

 

A gasp escaped my throat for two reasons. One was that the pain from my legs and private area made stars burst in front of my eyes. And two, was that Justin was laying beside me, sound asleep.

 

As fast as I could think without making a noise, I scurried off the bed and into a dark corner. I leaned against the wall and let out a squeak of surprise as the wall fell away. It wasn't a wall after all, but a dark curtain that hid a long hall.

 

I took one last look at Justin before running. I passed doors which hid empty rooms. But the second to last door was locked. I tried the handle multiple times. Hoping and praying that it would give way. But it didn't.

 

I sank to the ground in despair. I was trapped. Tears fell from my azul eyes and landed softly on my legs and the dirty ground. I cried for everything lost and everyone trapped. I cried for my deceased mother and my drunken father. I cried for my friends.

 

At that thought, I sat up.

 

Where the hell is Kayla??? I thought frantically. She had been in my room with me. Had they taken her with them? Or did they just knock her out and take me?

 

This had me on my feet again and I was trying to get the door unlocked with an urgency that could only be related to fear and