THE INVOLUNTARY EUTHANIZATION OF INNOCENCE by ILEE COLEMAN (digital e reader TXT) 📕

Summertime in New York City, circa 1980’s,

usually signaled fun and freedom from the

repetitive “dunundrums

” associated

with its counterpart…Winter

. With

school eradicated from the daily equation, pre-adolescent

crews had all day to sleep and all night to “creep”.


Eight million people with eight million stories spread out

over five distinct areas, in which native New Yorker’s

call them boroughs, constructed the macro-neighborhood.

Toss into this mix the ability to travel to your

destination via a mere 75 cent fare and the curiosity of a

young lad treading on the cusp of becoming a teenager and

you get a picture of an ever changing playground.


Harry’s family lived in the Bedford Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy)

area of Brooklyn and he lived in the Bronx. On the weekends

Harry would travel to Brooklyn because it felt like home to

him. See, Harry was born in Brooklyn, lived in Brooklyn as

a small child and relentlessly ventured to Brooklyn as if

Brooklyn couldn’t make it without him.


Project Housing was all too familiar for Harry and his

friends. To stick out your chest and rep your hood was

something of an honor badge but truth be told there is no

difference from one to the other. Some were bigger, some

were taller, some were cleaner and some were more

intimidating but they all shared multiple consistencies –

the biggest being POVERTY

.


Spending nights in a crowded apartment with pissy bed-

neighbors was the price to pay when you became an overnight

guest. Gun shots were as recognizable as the ice cream

truck. Animals thrown from the rooftops were not surprising

and alcohol was the favorite choice of beverage for the

adults.


When the alcohol took over, Harry took to the streets. He

and his clan did what regular pre-teen and teens did. They

played with the other kids, harassed the pretty little

girls and boasted superiority in whatever activity proved

most popular to the masses. During this time the emergence

of the video arcade game was exploding and kids were more

than obliged to do their part by donating “cased” quarters

to feed the machines.


At the local corner Pizza Shop Harry became a Space

Invaders junkie. He would be there eating Pizza and playing

as if he lived there. Any money that he managed to obtain

would be already allocated to his battle to save the world

from invading green martians.


As Harry’s neighborhood popularity grew so did his hood-

knowledge. Keep your money in different places on your body

as others would try to dig in your pockets and claim your

buried treasure; The arcade screen should always serve a

dual role and be used as a two way mirror to see behind you

and to the side of you, for lack of awareness could get you

knocked out cold; Keep one eye fixed on your food server as

many unaware patrons would eat more than pizza with cheese

and pepperoni.


The biggest lesson that Harry engulfed was survival of the

fittest also applied to adults as well. In the house the

adults were the authority and the harm that may be bestowed

upon a child could be a good ole fashion ass-whipping but

in the streets it’s a whole different story. The lesson

Harry was about to learn one summer evening from that pizza

shop would not only steal his innocence but stiffle his

ability to trust and communicate. An incredibly different

experience was lurking in the shadows and stalking an

already brittle life that was already bruised by alcoholism

and bad choices.


The weekend adventures to that pizza shop were becoming the

norm for Harry and his pals. Their lives were being

controlled from a motherboard and the hazards which came

along with the territory were only mere side effects. One

Saturday visit Harry noticed some of the kids playing for

free as a man would just feed what seemed to be a never

ending supply of quarters to the machines. Hours upon hours

the other kids would play games for free. Harry wanted to

be included within the surplus but was afraid to inquire.

He could loudly hear his mother’s voice telling him NOT to

talk with strangers. Soon, Harry found himself playing

arcade games without spending a dime. He had become a part

of the circle without even asking and he thought it was

cool.


The supplier, who we will call Jay, introduced himself to

Harry and then it dawned on him why he looked so familiar.

He worked in the corner bodega and had helped Harry and his

friends out plenty of times with finding items within the

store. Jay stated that he was a video game connoisseur who

was planning to open an arcade shop and he was looking for

trustworthy people to work

there. “Wow

!” Harry thought to

himself. In his mind, Jay was no longer a stranger and he

would be able to play video games all day, be around the

other kids and make money doing something he loved. The

opportunity was spectacular-especially for an underage pre-

teen who wasn’t legally able to work yet. See, you needed

working papers to get a job in NYC and that milestone

became available at fourteen. Harry was roughly two years

shy but if he kept his mouth shut then he could work during

his outside play time and make his own money. Harry asked

Jay “Are any of those jobs available to

me

?” Jay’s reply informed Harry that he would have

to interview for a position so Jay paid for a slice of

pizza and then they sat down at a booth. The shop had

constant traffic flow and it didn’t seem out of bounds that

a grown hispanic man was sitting alone at a booth with a

young black kid- especially in that goulash of a

neighborhood.


Jay began asking questions. “Have you

ever had a job? Can you be trusted to handle money

?”

etc. Shortly thereafter the questions shifted from job to

family to sexuality. “Do you like

girls

?” Do I like girls

?!

Harry replied. “Are you serious or just

teasing me

?” The line of questioning made Harry a

bit uncomfortable and he wanted to blow up on Jay but if he

did he may not be considered for his dream job and I would

miss out on an opportunity for losing his cool. So he just

chuckled it off.


After the interview Harry wanted to play another game but

they were all being used. He was feeling a bit excited

because in the back of his mind he had just maneuvered a

way to play games all day and be paid for it. He was taking

a step toward becoming an independent young man plus he

wanted to brag to his buddies who lived there.


The sunset on this day had soon retired and dusk was

surrendering to nightfall. Jay turned to Harry and asked

him to take a walk with up the block to get a package.

Harry agreed to go as his “spider-

senses

” were all clear. He had walked with friends

many places around the neighborhood without any incident so

far. Harry also knew that around the corner and up the

block there was a weed spot that he had been to before with

an older neighborhood friend.


*(It’s funny how many children are uninterested

in any type of alcohol or drug at a young age as they see

firsthand how it can destroy a family but they sure know

where and how to obtain them)

As they left the shop and proceeded to turned the corner

Harry was sure they were headed to that weed spot and Jay

continued to talk about how the arcade business was gonna

be a money maker. As they neared the side of the building

which was the weed spot, Jay made a sudden turn into an

abandoned brownstone building which had a lot of rubble on

the side as if something was demolitioned there. Harry

paused slightly as Jay walked around to the side and then

motioned for him to proceed. It seemed weird at first but

Harry thought to himself “heck it’s something

new in the hood that I’m gonna learn about and I don’t want

to seem like a square in front of my new boss

.”


Both entered the abandoned building but Harry could hardly

see his own hand in front of his face. The moonlight that

trickled in from a missing window was meek at best and it

later proved to be the guiding light for a dramatic escape.

Harry was wondering how Jay was able to see but maybe there

was something to this he was unaware of. Jay led him to

what seemed to be a sofa in the middle of nowhere. They sat

down and then Jay attempted to do the unthinkable. He put

his arm around the back of the sofa and whispered to

Harry “Do to me what you would do to a

girl

”.


“WHAT THE HELL

!!!!!”


At that split instant Harry’s adrenaline went to full

blast! He leaped from the sofa, unable to see, and ran

blindly towards the trickle of moonlight which he

remembered had a broken out window pane. When he got close

to the pane he dove through it like a stuntman from a movie

scene. Landing onto the white chalky rubble Harry felt his

skin scrape across its sharp edges but didn’t stop to take

inventory. He arose from the rubble scared and confused but

knew he had to keep running. He ran all the way back to the

apartment, past all family, past all the friends and into

the room. He was rapidly trying to process what just

occurred. Out of breath from the