Supermarket Bouncers & More by Stephen Lamington (the snowy day read aloud TXT) 📕

Seriously, how long does it take to pick up a carton of milk? It feels like days since she abandoned me at the checkout line. Here I am being an irresponsible supermarket bouncer, letting shopper after shopper go ahead of me unchecked. To pass the time, I examine the products around me and discover more flavors of condoms than gum. Suddenly, I recognize a waving hand just as the lady in front finishes. Clearing a path through unattractive shoppers for my wife, I questioned her about the unprecedented rambutans and missing milk.

"“Sorry honey, I got distracted. Be right back!"


I am green and I serve thee. I can be a leaf or grasshopper, but never a stop sign. Master, what do you bid of me?

I am red and I serve thee. I have been bled on battlefields and forged in fire but never will I feel blue. Master, what do you bid of me?

I am blue and I serve thee. I am the sky, the sea and a mood. Humor me not master, what do you bid of me?

I am your master and I bid thee mix with flit. For without light, I can't see shit.


Arthur Bench was a hardworking carpenter. From dusk till dawn, he saw to put supper on the table. Every Sunday he would come to pray at that very spot. As a bored lad he sat there, carving pictures into the wood. As a nervous groom he stood there, waiting for his bride. As a proud father he wept there, witnessing his child's baptism. Thus, it is almost of divine satire that a cupboard would fall through the roof of this church and land on that very spot. To commemorate his unfortunate demise, the replacement pew will be named "A. Bench".

Publication Date: 09-05-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
For couples, colors and church-goers.