A Deal With The Devil by Sophie J Brain (best ereader for academics TXT) 📕

“He’s no one” Jen replied “just someone I hurt a long time ago. He told me that I would end up this way and he was right. I am good for nothing else but Caroline, she will be better than me, I’m making sure of it.”

He waited for her to compose herself in the hope that he might learn more but alas, once she was ready she started to walk back to the office.

He couldn’t let it end that way. He knew that she was worth more than she thought “Jen.”

She turned around “Yes?”

“Would you like to go for dinner tonight?”

She began to shake her head, for she knew that she shouldn’t get too close to him, but something stopped her.

She knew that they couldn’t have a future together as lovers but there was no reason that they couldn’t be friends. She would have to make sure that he didn’t get any false expectations from her. The last thing she wanted was for someone else to get hurt by her.

“I will have to ask my mother to look after Caroline.”

Will smiled “only if it’s not an inconvenience?”

Jen sighed to herself, every time she asked her mother to watch Caroline it was an inconvenience. Her mum was still having problems with her sleeping pills but always stayed clean when she watching Caroline. That didn’t stop her from moaning to Jen about it though. Jen would have to make sure that her mum didn’t have any other plans for that night. Colin would be in the house but Caroline knew that she wasn’t allowed to be alone with him. Jen had made that rule a long time ago.

She turned to Will and smiled “I will see what I can do and let you know.”

 Please note Gareths name has changed from Allen to Phil

Chapter Nine

Two months later, Jen and Will have been going on friend dates nearly every week but she is reluctant to let it get too far.

Jen sighed happily as she cleaned her kitchen work top. Things had been improving at work and her friendship with Will was blossoming well. He had even started chaperoning her, whenever possible, during her visits to see Mr. Matthews.

“What are you smiling about?”

Jen looked up as Caroline entered the room and sat down on one of the stools by the counter. Caroline had just turned fourteen and was looking more beautiful every day. The older she became the more thankful Jen was that she had given her daughter the best start in life.

Jen might not be completely happy but at least Caroline would be all right. That was all Jen could ask for.

“I’m not smiling about anything” Jen finally replied.

“Yes you are, mum” Caroline argued “are you thinking about your friend Will?”

Caroline had seen Will walk Jen home at the end of the last week and had been incessant with questions about him. Jen had tried to be as honest as possible but some of the questions had been hard to answer.

“It’s not about Will” Jen lied.

“Mum, I don’t mind if you want a boyfriend” Caroline smiled “I think it would be nice.”

“Will is not my boyfriend” Jen replied.

“I know” Caroline shook her head “but he could be, if you wanted him to be, do you want him to be?” Jen stopped cleaning for a moment; did she want to be with him? She knew the answer, yes she did but she also knew she couldn’t be with him. She had been tainted by her relationship with Phil and she knew that she wasn’t good enough for anyone else. The only thing she was good at was fucking and she doubted that he would be happy with just that. She hadn’t been able to ignore the glints in his eyes and the meaning behind his words. Jen knew that he wanted to be with her but she couldn’t let herself fall for him. She needed to be strong and resist. He was a good man and the last thing he needed was to be paired with a slut like her.

She had hurt Phil and if she wasn’t careful then she would hurt Will as well. She would have to try and cut their friendship down to bare the minimum. It was the only way to avoid him pain.

The next day at work Jen did all she could to avoid Will but as lunch time came around he managed to find her.

“Want to eat something?” He asked as he walked up to her desk.

Jen quickly looked towards Mr. Matthews’ office. He had been noticing her friendship with Will and had expressed upset with it. If she upset him then she would find herself out of a job and then what would she do?

She shook her head “I need to work through some stuff, I’m sorry.”

He nodded sadly “does Matthews need to speak with you?”

She leaned back “don’t speak so loud.”

Will blinked, why was she being shy? Everyone knew that she and Mr. Matthews were fucking. What was wrong with her?

“I’m sorry” he murmured.

Jen looked down, she knew that she shouldn’t be so embarrassed by his words. Everyone knew what happened when she was called into Matthews’ office but there was something about him saying it that made her feel dirty. She knew she was a slut but she somehow she didn’t like Will knowing it.

He was all that was good and kind and she couldn’t risk hurting him like she hurt Phil.

“I need to get back to work” she murmured, inwardly wincing as he lurched back at her sharp tone. She had to hurt him. For his sake she had to distance herself.

Will blinked, what had happened? Before the weekend they had been fine and now she was behaving like they had never spoken. Had he done something to displease her?

“Can I help you with it?” he asked.

She shook her head “I had better not get any help, Matthews wouldn’t like it.”

Will looked towards Matthews’ office and scowled. The man always seemed to bully Jen whatever chance he got and Will was fed up. He wanted to start looking for another job but he was loath to leave her on her own with Matthews.

“Let me take you out tonight” he murmured.

She blinked “tonight?”

“Or if you don’t have childcare I will cook for you at home. I just want to talk.”

Against her extreme better judgment, Jen felt herself nod “that would be lovely, we can go back straight after work.”

Later that evening Jen and Will arrived back at her house at around six. They decided to have a takeaway instead of cooking, something which delighted Caroline, and they both sat on the sofa as they decided what they wanted.

“Mum, can we please get pizza?” Caroline begged “you know it’s my favourite.”

Jen smiled at Will “do you like pizza?”

“It’s actually my favourite too” he replied.

“Yes!” Caroline cheered “pizza! I’ll be in my room, let me know when it’s here.”

Jen laughed as she watched Caroline rush out of the room “well that’s been decided then.”

“You have a great relationship with her” Will murmured, “you must be happy.” Jen nodded “well it’s always been just me and her so we are close.”

“What about the father?” Will asked before he could think the better of it. He knew it was a personal question but he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to know everything about Jen.

Jen stood and picked up the phone “we broke up before Caroline was born, he hasn’t met her.”

Will waited while Jen ordered the pizza. Why had they broken up? Had it been because of the pregnancy? He needed to know.

“Why did you break up?” He asked once she was finished on the phone.

Jen winced “can we talk about something else?”

Will nodded “forgive me, please; I just wanted to know more about your life.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because we are friends” he replied.

Jen sighed; maybe she should tell him what happened. It might deter him for getting too close to her if he knew the truth about her, if he saw how much she had hurt Phil.

She closed the door and sat back down on the sofa “I was thirteen and I met someone, Phil, he was lovely and kind and sweet and he loved me.”

Will’s alerts lit up at her words, he could see what was coming. It was odd and strange but he knew that once she was finished he would see a new side to her, a side that he would love.

“He took me out every day” she continued “well I mean after a time we became intimate and we stopped going out but we still saw each other. One day he said he needed me to please one of his friends. I thought it would just be a blow job but his friend fucked me.”

Jen looked at Will’s face but she wasn’t able to read his expression, maybe he would see her for what she was and leave her alone. It was what she wanted but it still made her feel hollow inside. After everything she still craved love, she needed it, she was only human, but she couldn’t have it. She had been given a chance at love and she had ruined it.

“I’m not sure how it happened now but when I told Phil he said that it was good. Soon Colin, my stepfather, knew and he said I had to fuck him to keep him silent. Phil knew about it but didn’t say anything. When I got pregnant I told Phil but he didn’t want it, he said I had hurt him by fucking around with all different people. He said that it was because I was from a state school.”

Will nodded, suddenly her desire to put Caroline in a good school became clear. She blamed herself for what had happened and yet he could see that she had been exploited. How could he convince her that she wasn’t dirty?

“I know you are shocked” Jen murmured “if you want to go then I understand.”

Will took of her hand “I will stay if you don’t mind?”

Jen shook her head “no, that’s fine.” Why did he want to stay? Hadn’t he heard what she had said? She was dirty and nothing, who would want to know someone like her?

“You have a past” Will murmured, unconsciously answering her question “who doesn’t?” Jen nodded, she knew he was right but it didn’t little to make her feel better. She would always be tainted by her past; it would always hang over her like a black cloud. She didn’t know how to stop it.

Later that night, after Caroline had gone to bed, Will stood up and walked over to the kitchen to put the plates into the sink. Jen had dozed off on the sofa but she opened her eyes at clanking sound.

“Will?”

“Just cleaning up” he murmured, smiling at the slut in her voice. They had found two bottles of wine and had drunk them both.

“You should stay here” she murmured “it’s late.”

Will blinked “Jen, I’m not sure that me and you sleeping together is a good idea.”

She winced, of course that would be his first thought. She touched her forehead, it was woozy and light. She didn’t usually drink much so she wasn’t used to such