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my charge.
SUB. Well then: nought rests
But that she fit her love now to her fortune.
DAME P. Truly I shall never brook a Spaniard.
SUB. No!
DAME P. Never since eighty-eight could I abide them,
And that was some three year afore I was born, in truth.
SUB. Come, you must love him, or be miserable,
Choose which you will.
FACE. By this good rush, persuade her,
She will cry strawberries else within this twelvemonth.
SUB. Nay, shads and mackerel, which is worse.
FACE. Indeed, sir!
KAS. Od's lid, you shall love him, or I'll kick you.
DAME P. Why,
I'll do as you will have me, brother.
KAS. Do,
Or by this hand I'll maul you.
FACE. Nay, good sir,
Be not so fierce.
SUB. No, my enraged child;
She will be ruled. What, when she comes to taste
The pleasures of a countess! to be courtedβ
FACE. And kiss'd, and ruffled!
SUB. Ay, behind the hangings.
FACE. And then come forth in pomp!
SUB. And know her state!
FACE. Of keeping all the idolaters of the chamber
Barer to her, than at their prayers!
SUB. Is serv'd
Upon the knee!
FACE. And has her pages, ushers,
Footmen, and coachesβ
SUB. Her six maresβ
FACE. Nay, eight!
SUB. To hurry her through London, to the Exchange,
Bethlem, the china-housesβ
FACE. Yes, and have
The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires,
And my lord's goose-turd bands, that ride with her!
KAS. Most brave! By this hand, you are not my suster,
If you refuse.
DAME P. I will not refuse, brother.
[ENTER SURLY.]
SUR. Que es esto, senores, que no venga?
Esta tardanza me mata!
FACE. It is the count come:
The doctor knew he would be here, by his art.
SUB. En gallanta madama, Don! gallantissima!
SUR. Por todos los dioses, la mas acabada hermosura, que he visto
en mi vida!
FACE. Is't not a gallant language that they speak?
KAS. An admirable language! Is't not French?
FACE. No, Spanish, sir.
KAS. It goes like law-French,
And that, they say, is the courtliest language.
FACE. List, sir.
SUR. El sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el esplandor que trae
esta dama! Valgame dios!
FACE. He admires your sister.
KAS. Must not she make curt'sy?
SUB. Ods will, she must go to him, man, and kiss him!
It is the Spanish fashion, for the women
To make first court.
FACE. 'Tis true he tells you, sir:
His art knows all.
SUR. Porque no se acude?
KAS. He speaks to her, I think.
FACE. That he does, sir.
SUR. Por el amor de dios, que es esto que se tarda?
KAS. Nay, see: she will not understand him! gull,
Noddy.
DAME P. What say you, brother?
KAS. Ass, my suster.
Go kuss him, as the cunning man would have you;
I'll thrust a pin in your buttocks else.
FACE. O no, sir.
SUR. Senora mia, mi persona esta muy indigna de allegar
a tanta hermosura.
FACE. Does he not use her bravely?
KAS. Bravely, i'faith!
FACE. Nay, he will use her better.
KAS. Do you think so?
SUR. Senora, si sera servida, entremonos.
[EXIT WITH DAME PLIANT.]
KAS. Where does he carry her?
FACE. Into the garden, sir;
Take you no thought: I must interpret for her.
SUB. Give Dol the word.
[ASIDE TO FACE, WHO GOES OUT.]
βCome, my fierce child, advance,
We'll to our quarrelling lesson again.
KAS. Agreed.
I love a Spanish boy with all my heart.
SUB. Nay, and by this means, sir, you shall be brother
To a great count.
KAS. Ay, I knew that at first,
This match will advance the house of the Kastrils.
SUB. 'Pray God your sister prove but pliant!
KAS. Why,
Her name is so, by her other husband.
SUB. How!
KAS. The widow Pliant. Knew you not that?
SUB. No, faith, sir;
Yet, by erection of her figure, I guest it.
Come, let's go practise.
KAS. Yes, but do you think, doctor,
I e'er shall quarrel well?
SUB. I warrant you.
[EXEUNT.]
SUB. Well then: nought rests
But that she fit her love now to her fortune.
DAME P. Truly I shall never brook a Spaniard.
SUB. No!
DAME P. Never since eighty-eight could I abide them,
And that was some three year afore I was born, in truth.
SUB. Come, you must love him, or be miserable,
Choose which you will.
FACE. By this good rush, persuade her,
She will cry strawberries else within this twelvemonth.
SUB. Nay, shads and mackerel, which is worse.
FACE. Indeed, sir!
KAS. Od's lid, you shall love him, or I'll kick you.
DAME P. Why,
I'll do as you will have me, brother.
KAS. Do,
Or by this hand I'll maul you.
FACE. Nay, good sir,
Be not so fierce.
SUB. No, my enraged child;
She will be ruled. What, when she comes to taste
The pleasures of a countess! to be courtedβ
FACE. And kiss'd, and ruffled!
SUB. Ay, behind the hangings.
FACE. And then come forth in pomp!
SUB. And know her state!
FACE. Of keeping all the idolaters of the chamber
Barer to her, than at their prayers!
SUB. Is serv'd
Upon the knee!
FACE. And has her pages, ushers,
Footmen, and coachesβ
SUB. Her six maresβ
FACE. Nay, eight!
SUB. To hurry her through London, to the Exchange,
Bethlem, the china-housesβ
FACE. Yes, and have
The citizens gape at her, and praise her tires,
And my lord's goose-turd bands, that ride with her!
KAS. Most brave! By this hand, you are not my suster,
If you refuse.
DAME P. I will not refuse, brother.
[ENTER SURLY.]
SUR. Que es esto, senores, que no venga?
Esta tardanza me mata!
FACE. It is the count come:
The doctor knew he would be here, by his art.
SUB. En gallanta madama, Don! gallantissima!
SUR. Por todos los dioses, la mas acabada hermosura, que he visto
en mi vida!
FACE. Is't not a gallant language that they speak?
KAS. An admirable language! Is't not French?
FACE. No, Spanish, sir.
KAS. It goes like law-French,
And that, they say, is the courtliest language.
FACE. List, sir.
SUR. El sol ha perdido su lumbre, con el esplandor que trae
esta dama! Valgame dios!
FACE. He admires your sister.
KAS. Must not she make curt'sy?
SUB. Ods will, she must go to him, man, and kiss him!
It is the Spanish fashion, for the women
To make first court.
FACE. 'Tis true he tells you, sir:
His art knows all.
SUR. Porque no se acude?
KAS. He speaks to her, I think.
FACE. That he does, sir.
SUR. Por el amor de dios, que es esto que se tarda?
KAS. Nay, see: she will not understand him! gull,
Noddy.
DAME P. What say you, brother?
KAS. Ass, my suster.
Go kuss him, as the cunning man would have you;
I'll thrust a pin in your buttocks else.
FACE. O no, sir.
SUR. Senora mia, mi persona esta muy indigna de allegar
a tanta hermosura.
FACE. Does he not use her bravely?
KAS. Bravely, i'faith!
FACE. Nay, he will use her better.
KAS. Do you think so?
SUR. Senora, si sera servida, entremonos.
[EXIT WITH DAME PLIANT.]
KAS. Where does he carry her?
FACE. Into the garden, sir;
Take you no thought: I must interpret for her.
SUB. Give Dol the word.
[ASIDE TO FACE, WHO GOES OUT.]
βCome, my fierce child, advance,
We'll to our quarrelling lesson again.
KAS. Agreed.
I love a Spanish boy with all my heart.
SUB. Nay, and by this means, sir, you shall be brother
To a great count.
KAS. Ay, I knew that at first,
This match will advance the house of the Kastrils.
SUB. 'Pray God your sister prove but pliant!
KAS. Why,
Her name is so, by her other husband.
SUB. How!
KAS. The widow Pliant. Knew you not that?
SUB. No, faith, sir;
Yet, by erection of her figure, I guest it.
Come, let's go practise.
KAS. Yes, but do you think, doctor,
I e'er shall quarrel well?
SUB. I warrant you.
[EXEUNT.]
SCENE 4.3.
ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME.
ENTER DOL IN HER FIT OF RAVING, FOLLOWED BY MAMMON.
DOL. "For after Alexander's death"β
MAM. Good ladyβ
DOL. "That Perdiccas and Antigonus, were slain,
The two that stood, Seleuc', and Ptolomee"β
MAM. Madamβ
DOL. "Made up the two legs, and the fourth beast,
That was Gog-north, and Egypt-south: which after
Was call'd Gog-iron-leg and South-iron-leg"β
MAM. Ladyβ
DOL. "And then Gog-horned. So was Egypt, too:
Then Egypt-clay-leg, and Gog-clay-leg"β
MAM. Sweet madamβ
DOL. "And last Gog-dust, and Egypt-dust, which fall
In the last link of the fourth chain. And these
Be stars in story, which none see, or look at"β
MAM. What shall I do?
DOL. "For," as he says, "except
We call the rabbins, and the heathen Greeks"β
MAM. Dear ladyβ
DOL. "To come from Salem, and from Athens,
And teach the people of Great Britain"β
[ENTER FACE, HASTILY, IN HIS SERVANT'S DRESS.]
FACE. What's the matter, sir?
DOL. "To speak the tongue of Eber, and Javan"β
MAM. O,
She's in her fit.
DOL. "We shall know nothing"β
FACE. Death, sir,
We are undone!
DOL. "Where then a learned linguist
Shall see the ancient used communion
Of vowels and consonants"β
FACE. My master will hear!
DOL. "A wisdom, which Pythagoras held most high"β
MAM. Sweet honourable lady!
DOL. "To comprise
All sounds of voices, in few marks of letters"β
FACE. Nay, you must never hope to lay her now.
[THEY ALL SPEAK TOGETHER.]
DOL. "And so we may arrive by Talmud skill,
And profane Greek, to raise the building up
Of Helen's house against the Ismaelite,
King of Thogarma, and his habergions
Brimstony, blue, and fiery; and the force
Of king Abaddon, and the beast of Cittim:
Which rabbi David Kimchi, Onkelos,
And Aben Ezra do interpret Rome."
FACE. How did you put her into't?
MAM. Alas, I talk'd
Of a fifth monarchy I would erect,
With the philosopher's stone, by chance, and she
Falls on the other four straight.
FACE. Out of Broughton!
I told you so. 'Slid, stop her mouth.
MAM. Is't best?
FACE. She'll never leave else. If the old man hear her,
We are but faeces, ashes.
SUB [WITHIN]. What's to do there?
FACE. O, we are lost! Now she hears him, she is quiet.
[ENTER SUBTLE, THEY RUN DIFFERENT WAYS.]
MAM. Where shall I hide me!
SUB. How! what sight is here?
Close deeds of darkness, and that shun the light!
Bring him again. Who is he? What, my son!
O, I have lived too long.
MAM. Nay, good, dear father,
There was no unchaste purpose.
SUB. Not? and flee me
When I come in?
MAM. That was my error.
SUB. Error?
Guilt, guilt, my son: give it the right name. No marvel,
If I found check in our great work within,
When such affairs as these were managing!
MAM. Why, have you so?
SUB. It has stood still this half hour:
And all the rest of our less works gone back.
Where is the instrument of wickedness,
My lewd false drudge?
MAM. Nay, good sir, blame not him;
Believe me, 'twas against his will or knowledge:
I saw her by chance.
SUB. Will you commit more sin,
To excuse a varlet?
MAM. By my hope, 'tis true, sir.
SUB. Nay, then I wonder less, if you, for whom
The blessing was prepared, would so tempt heaven,
And lose your fortunes.
MAM. Why, sir?
SUB. This will retard
The work a month at least.
MAM. Why, if it do,
What remedy? But think it not, good father:
Our purposes were honest.
SUB. As they were,
So the reward will prove.
[A LOUD EXPLOSION WITHIN.]
βHow now! ah me!
God, and all saints be good to us.β
[RE-ENTER FACE.]
What's that?
FACE. O, sir, we are defeated! all the works
Are flown in fumo, every glass is burst;
Furnace, and all rent down, as if a bolt
Of thunder had been driven through the house.
Retorts, receivers, pelicans, bolt-heads,
All struck in shivers!
[SUBTLE FALLS DOWN AS IN A SWOON.]
Help, good sir! alas,
Coldness and death invades him. Nay, sir Mammon,
Do the fair offices of a man! you stand,
As you were readier to depart than he.
[KNOCKING WITHIN.]
Who's there? my lord her brother is come.
MAM. Ha, Lungs!
FACE. His coach is at the door. Avoid his sight,
For he's as furious as his sister's mad.
MAM. Alas!
FACE. My brain is quite undone with the fume, sir,
I ne'er must hope to be mine own man again.
MAM. Is all lost, Lungs? will nothing be preserv'd
Of all our cost?
FACE. Faith, very little, sir;
A peck of coals or so, which is cold comfort, sir.
MAM. O, my voluptuous mind! I am justly punish'd.
FACE. And so am I, sir.
MAM. Cast from all my hopesβ
FACE. Nay, certainties, sir.
MAM. By mine own base affections.
SUB [SEEMING TO COME TO HIMSELF].
O, the curst fruits of vice and lust!
MAM. Good father,
It was my sin. Forgive it.
SUB. Hangs my roof
Over us still, and will not fall, O justice,
Upon us, for this wicked man!
FACE. Nay, look, sir,
You grieve him now with staying in his sight:
Good sir, the nobleman will come too, and take you,
And that may breed a tragedy.
MAM. I'll go.
FACE. Ay, and repent at home, sir. It may be,
For some good penance you may have it yet;
A hundred pound to the box at Bethlemβ
MAM. Yes.
FACE. For the restoring such asβhave their wits.
MAM. I'll do't.
FACE. I'll send one to you to receive it.
MAM. Do.
Is no projection left?
FACE. All flown, or stinks, sir.
MAM. Will nought be sav'd that's good for med'cine,
think'st thou?
FACE. I cannot tell, sir. There will be perhaps,
Something about the scraping of the shards,
Will cure the itch,βthough not your itch of mind, sir.
[ASIDE.]
It shall be saved for you, and sent home. Good sir,
This way, for fear the lord should meet you.
[EXIT MAMMON.]
SUB [RAISING HIS HEAD]. Face!
FACE. Ay.
SUB. Is he gone?
FACE. Yes, and as heavily
As all the gold he hoped for were in's blood.
Let us be light though.
SUB [LEAPING UP]. Ay, as balls, and bound
And hit our heads against the roof for joy:
There's so much of our care now cast away.
FACE. Now to our don.
SUB. Yes, your young widow by this time
Is made a countess, Face; she has been in travail
Of a young heir for you.
FACE. Good sir.
SUB. Off with your case,
And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should,
After these common hazards.
FACE. Very well, sir.
Will you go fetch Don Diego off, the while?
SUB. And fetch him over too, if you'll be pleased, sir:
Would Dol were in her place, to pick his pockets now!
FACE. Why, you can do't as well, if you would set to't.
I pray you prove your virtue.
SUB. For your sake sir.
[EXEUNT.]
ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME.
ENTER DOL IN HER FIT OF RAVING, FOLLOWED BY MAMMON.
DOL. "For after Alexander's death"β
MAM. Good ladyβ
DOL. "That Perdiccas and Antigonus, were slain,
The two that stood, Seleuc', and Ptolomee"β
MAM. Madamβ
DOL. "Made up the two legs, and the fourth beast,
That was Gog-north, and Egypt-south: which after
Was call'd Gog-iron-leg and South-iron-leg"β
MAM. Ladyβ
DOL. "And then Gog-horned. So was Egypt, too:
Then Egypt-clay-leg, and Gog-clay-leg"β
MAM. Sweet madamβ
DOL. "And last Gog-dust, and Egypt-dust, which fall
In the last link of the fourth chain. And these
Be stars in story, which none see, or look at"β
MAM. What shall I do?
DOL. "For," as he says, "except
We call the rabbins, and the heathen Greeks"β
MAM. Dear ladyβ
DOL. "To come from Salem, and from Athens,
And teach the people of Great Britain"β
[ENTER FACE, HASTILY, IN HIS SERVANT'S DRESS.]
FACE. What's the matter, sir?
DOL. "To speak the tongue of Eber, and Javan"β
MAM. O,
She's in her fit.
DOL. "We shall know nothing"β
FACE. Death, sir,
We are undone!
DOL. "Where then a learned linguist
Shall see the ancient used communion
Of vowels and consonants"β
FACE. My master will hear!
DOL. "A wisdom, which Pythagoras held most high"β
MAM. Sweet honourable lady!
DOL. "To comprise
All sounds of voices, in few marks of letters"β
FACE. Nay, you must never hope to lay her now.
[THEY ALL SPEAK TOGETHER.]
DOL. "And so we may arrive by Talmud skill,
And profane Greek, to raise the building up
Of Helen's house against the Ismaelite,
King of Thogarma, and his habergions
Brimstony, blue, and fiery; and the force
Of king Abaddon, and the beast of Cittim:
Which rabbi David Kimchi, Onkelos,
And Aben Ezra do interpret Rome."
FACE. How did you put her into't?
MAM. Alas, I talk'd
Of a fifth monarchy I would erect,
With the philosopher's stone, by chance, and she
Falls on the other four straight.
FACE. Out of Broughton!
I told you so. 'Slid, stop her mouth.
MAM. Is't best?
FACE. She'll never leave else. If the old man hear her,
We are but faeces, ashes.
SUB [WITHIN]. What's to do there?
FACE. O, we are lost! Now she hears him, she is quiet.
[ENTER SUBTLE, THEY RUN DIFFERENT WAYS.]
MAM. Where shall I hide me!
SUB. How! what sight is here?
Close deeds of darkness, and that shun the light!
Bring him again. Who is he? What, my son!
O, I have lived too long.
MAM. Nay, good, dear father,
There was no unchaste purpose.
SUB. Not? and flee me
When I come in?
MAM. That was my error.
SUB. Error?
Guilt, guilt, my son: give it the right name. No marvel,
If I found check in our great work within,
When such affairs as these were managing!
MAM. Why, have you so?
SUB. It has stood still this half hour:
And all the rest of our less works gone back.
Where is the instrument of wickedness,
My lewd false drudge?
MAM. Nay, good sir, blame not him;
Believe me, 'twas against his will or knowledge:
I saw her by chance.
SUB. Will you commit more sin,
To excuse a varlet?
MAM. By my hope, 'tis true, sir.
SUB. Nay, then I wonder less, if you, for whom
The blessing was prepared, would so tempt heaven,
And lose your fortunes.
MAM. Why, sir?
SUB. This will retard
The work a month at least.
MAM. Why, if it do,
What remedy? But think it not, good father:
Our purposes were honest.
SUB. As they were,
So the reward will prove.
[A LOUD EXPLOSION WITHIN.]
βHow now! ah me!
God, and all saints be good to us.β
[RE-ENTER FACE.]
What's that?
FACE. O, sir, we are defeated! all the works
Are flown in fumo, every glass is burst;
Furnace, and all rent down, as if a bolt
Of thunder had been driven through the house.
Retorts, receivers, pelicans, bolt-heads,
All struck in shivers!
[SUBTLE FALLS DOWN AS IN A SWOON.]
Help, good sir! alas,
Coldness and death invades him. Nay, sir Mammon,
Do the fair offices of a man! you stand,
As you were readier to depart than he.
[KNOCKING WITHIN.]
Who's there? my lord her brother is come.
MAM. Ha, Lungs!
FACE. His coach is at the door. Avoid his sight,
For he's as furious as his sister's mad.
MAM. Alas!
FACE. My brain is quite undone with the fume, sir,
I ne'er must hope to be mine own man again.
MAM. Is all lost, Lungs? will nothing be preserv'd
Of all our cost?
FACE. Faith, very little, sir;
A peck of coals or so, which is cold comfort, sir.
MAM. O, my voluptuous mind! I am justly punish'd.
FACE. And so am I, sir.
MAM. Cast from all my hopesβ
FACE. Nay, certainties, sir.
MAM. By mine own base affections.
SUB [SEEMING TO COME TO HIMSELF].
O, the curst fruits of vice and lust!
MAM. Good father,
It was my sin. Forgive it.
SUB. Hangs my roof
Over us still, and will not fall, O justice,
Upon us, for this wicked man!
FACE. Nay, look, sir,
You grieve him now with staying in his sight:
Good sir, the nobleman will come too, and take you,
And that may breed a tragedy.
MAM. I'll go.
FACE. Ay, and repent at home, sir. It may be,
For some good penance you may have it yet;
A hundred pound to the box at Bethlemβ
MAM. Yes.
FACE. For the restoring such asβhave their wits.
MAM. I'll do't.
FACE. I'll send one to you to receive it.
MAM. Do.
Is no projection left?
FACE. All flown, or stinks, sir.
MAM. Will nought be sav'd that's good for med'cine,
think'st thou?
FACE. I cannot tell, sir. There will be perhaps,
Something about the scraping of the shards,
Will cure the itch,βthough not your itch of mind, sir.
[ASIDE.]
It shall be saved for you, and sent home. Good sir,
This way, for fear the lord should meet you.
[EXIT MAMMON.]
SUB [RAISING HIS HEAD]. Face!
FACE. Ay.
SUB. Is he gone?
FACE. Yes, and as heavily
As all the gold he hoped for were in's blood.
Let us be light though.
SUB [LEAPING UP]. Ay, as balls, and bound
And hit our heads against the roof for joy:
There's so much of our care now cast away.
FACE. Now to our don.
SUB. Yes, your young widow by this time
Is made a countess, Face; she has been in travail
Of a young heir for you.
FACE. Good sir.
SUB. Off with your case,
And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should,
After these common hazards.
FACE. Very well, sir.
Will you go fetch Don Diego off, the while?
SUB. And fetch him over too, if you'll be pleased, sir:
Would Dol were in her place, to pick his pockets now!
FACE. Why, you can do't as well, if you would set to't.
I pray you prove your virtue.
SUB. For your sake sir.
[EXEUNT.]
SCENE 4.4.
ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME.
[ENTER SURLY AND DAME PLIANT.]
SUR. Lady, you see into what hands you are fall'n;
'Mongst what a nest of villains! and how near
Your honour was t' have catch'd a certain clap,
Through your credulity, had I but been
So punctually forward, as place, time,
And other circumstances would have made a man;
For you're a handsome woman: would you were wise too!
I am a gentleman come here disguised,
Only to find the knaveries of this citadel;
And where I might have wrong'd your honour, and have not,
I claim some interest in your love. You are,
They say, a widow, rich: and I'm a batchelor,
Worth nought: your fortunes may make me a man,
As mine have preserv'd you a woman. Think upon it,
And whether I have deserv'd you or no.
DAME P. I
ANOTHER ROOM IN THE SAME.
[ENTER SURLY AND DAME PLIANT.]
SUR. Lady, you see into what hands you are fall'n;
'Mongst what a nest of villains! and how near
Your honour was t' have catch'd a certain clap,
Through your credulity, had I but been
So punctually forward, as place, time,
And other circumstances would have made a man;
For you're a handsome woman: would you were wise too!
I am a gentleman come here disguised,
Only to find the knaveries of this citadel;
And where I might have wrong'd your honour, and have not,
I claim some interest in your love. You are,
They say, a widow, rich: and I'm a batchelor,
Worth nought: your fortunes may make me a man,
As mine have preserv'd you a woman. Think upon it,
And whether I have deserv'd you or no.
DAME P. I
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