Voids Fill Up Differently by Students of IACT (books for students to read txt) 📕

“I just finished showering. What’s up, Dylan?”

“Hmm nothing much, just wanted to know how’s things going on between you and Robert?”

Why is Dylan asking about me and Robert out of nowhere? My heart fell faster than a loaf that was removed from the oven too soon. I replied Dylan, “ Nothing special, we stopped talking to each other, I just don’t feel like having any acquaintance with people like him anymore.” I was actually uncertain about these words that just came out from my mouth.

“I knew it. As long as your emotions are not bothered by him. It’s such a relief to hear this from you, Jo.”

“Oh yeah, the gang and I will be watching the latest showing of ‘Love Story’ this coming Friday, would you like to come along?”

My heart skips a beat when I heard this.

“Sure, Dylan. See you next Friday.”

The irritating blaring of the small alarm clock jarred me out of my peaceful sleep. I used to be so annoyed by the alarm, but surprisingly I feel so happy about it today. It feels so great to be back at college. What coloured outfit will Dylan be wearing today?

A new semester begins. The first lecture of the semester is from a new lecturer of the subject Writing for Different Media. As expected, the worst session of a new semester, self-introduction, it’s inevitable. I guess the look in people’s eyes when I used to introduce myself will always be my worst nightmare. It was Robert’s turn to introduce himself, laughter gradually vanished, I can clearly hear everyone else’s criticisms about him. Robert stands up slowly, still with his headphones on. I did not turn my head around, I could only be observing him from my side view. As the criticisms getting louder, he seems to be dodging his eyes, the silence that followed seemed unnatural.

“Still that same old Robert we have here huh.”

“Didn’t he have that thing called ‘self-consciousness’ ?”

“True. Why does he always need to be so stubborn at putting his headphones on while answering questions from other people?”

Unexpectedly, Robert speaks, “Do you ever mean the things you say? When you say I’ve disgusted you, do you mean that? When you called me worthless, a waste of space, is that what you really see in me?”

I noticed Robert’s trembling hands. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard. that pair of white headphones reflecting the dazzling light. Classmates’ criticisms continued with irony. I glance over at Robert's face, still smouldering underneath his stony expression. Fires of fury and hatred were smouldering in the small narrowed eyes. Fists clenched, frowning. “Hey Robert, calm down, put your headphones back and go back to your seat.” Dylan was trying to ease the situation with a soft and gentle tone. Out of a sudden, I could feel a blast of wind went through, Robert stepped forward, reaching for Dylan and seized him tightly by the collar aggressively. Dylan who was unable to dodge was soon being grasped in Robert’s hands. His screams echoed through the closed door, filling the silence with burning flames of self-loathing. Everyone tensed. “Robert! What are you doing?” It’s too heavy to witness them quarrelling. I just hope that Robert could stop his impulsive and embarrassing actions.

Robert withdrew his hand from Dylan and crept backwards after he heard me shouting. He gasped. Turned his head towards me. I felt the hollowness in his eyes, again. His eyes turned from me to my classmates,

“There comes a day when you were fatigued of pleasing each other blindly, you are nothing better than me.”

“Stop it, Robert, they did not say anything harsh about you.” I defended them unconsciously, tried to be more firm about my attitude to disguise my guilt, I know what I’ve expressed was not true.

“Do you really think that I heard nothing all the while?”

He placed his headphones down and walked away with his subtle words. I moved forward, picked his iPod up from Dylan’s desk. I was entirely shocked at the playlist, it was… empty. All this time he was not listening to any music? Did he hear every judgemental sentence about him? Look what have we done to him so far. I did not wish to drive the situation beyond the point of no return. I went to search for Robert, but it seemed like the distance between us is too far away.

“Robert, wait! Don’t go.”

He turned his head back slowly, he looked pale and unnerved under the harsh light at the aisle, looking straight into my eyes and said, “Joanna, you’ve changed. We used to be so close, but why had you stopped acting like who you used to be?” “People are poison, Robert. I thought you’d have learnt that by now.”

“If you still decided to be the odd one, I’m sorry, I think I may not be able to help you out too.”

“Help me out? What did you helped so far? You’re just a cold-blooded bystander.”

I felt ashamed for a second, but I raised my head up firmly next. “I did nothing wrong, the world itself is cruel, you just have to accept this fact.”

“Joanna, I still hope that we can be friends like we used to be.” He looked extremely sincere. There was cold sweat on my palms, “But Robert, I am never going back.”

“Alright, my bad. I’m sorry for lashing out for it.” He turned around and left me standing alone at the aisle. As much as I tried to hold it in, the pain came out like an uproar from my throat in the form of a silent scream. The beads of water started falling down one after another, without a sign of stopping. I lost Robert. I lost myself too. From the day I’ve chosen a different path from him and decided to swim with the tide, I’ve already lost both.

After that, all of us had graduated from college. None of us had come across Robert since then. But I’ve met a few people who are just like him, all around our daily life, always unnoticed, almost invisible.

They actually exist. Just exist.

Perhaps us and people like them will always be like parallel lines; so much in common, but it’s a shame that they will never come together.

 The Journey Of Love 

Gerald Chua, Ivan Chai, Ding Ze Hui

It’s one of those slow, dreadful nights again on the streets of Bukit Bintang. Hundreds of people walk past my stall but none even bother to stop and look. Even if they did, I can feel the judgment in their eyes... Is my art not good enough for their sophisticated minds to gaze upon? It is now 168 hours without a single art sold. What the hell. Am I really going back to my girlfriend empty-handed again? She always said it was alright but deep down, I know behind those comforting words, she’s worried just like I am of what it's going to be like in the future. We could barely even afford dinner last night, the waiter felt pitiful and was kind enough to allow us to underpay. Day by day, it’s practically us living off of her paycheck which isn’t even much, to begin with.

As I reached home, I was surprised to hear the sound of kitchen utensils banging around from the back of the house. What was happening there? Fearing a thief may have broken in, I was about to dash into the house when the doorknob began to twist and the door opened. I was greeted by the sweet aroma of freshly cooked tomato sauce and an even sweeter smile from my beautiful girlfriend, Jacintha.

“Hey, what’s the occasion babe?” I asked as I gave her a quick hug and a sigh of relief.

“Well, a friend of mine is coming over to have dinner with us. He’s a big-time art critique, I think you guys will get along nicely, and he may even be willing to help you sell your art better!” she replied enthusiastically.

I could only crack a smile on my face, but only barely. Did she not have confidence in my art at all? Damn it, why am I even thinking that way? She’s my girlfriend for Christ’s sake, of course, she’s going to have my back! Negative thoughts aside, I guess she just has nothing but good intentions.

“Where’d you get the money to buy all these ingredients?” I asked.

“Ah babe, I forgot to tell you again didn’t I? I got a raise in my paycheck! We’ll be eating a little better from now on,” she happily declared.

Wow, even Jacintha is progressing with her life. What the hell am I doing then? All of these negative thoughts came flooding in all of a sudden, leaving me to feel distraught at how miserable my life has been for the past couple of weeks. Just as I felt like I was about to break down and cry, I felt a peck on my cheek.

“Hey, you okay babe?” Jacintha asked with a worried look.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. What time’s your friend coming over for dinner?” I asked while rubbing my face.

Just as I asked, the doorbell rang. Ding dong! Jacintha rushed over to the door to open it and was greeted by a fine-looking lad with a rather familiar face. He was tall, had good features and a man bun. He wore an earthly colored green shirt paired with some ripped jeans. I walked over to the door as he greeted me with a pleasant smile on his face.

“Hey pal, it’s been a while! Remember me?” he asked with enthusiasm in his voice.

Pal? Who is this guy? He had a rather strange yet familiar accent. He sounded as if he was a British born Chinese who grew up in Malaysia. I carefully observed and examined him but I couldn’t place my finger on who this person was. I can’t blame myself though, I can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning!

“It’s me, Max! Max Chan from art class!” he exclaimed in his eccentric accent.

Then it hit me like a train. This man standing right in front of me was none other than Max Chan, that perfect art student who all the teachers loved and praised. The guy who got his artwork showcased at all of the art exhibits we had when we were young. He looked so different, I could hardly recognize him.

“Max Chan? Oh my god, how have you been? It’s been so long!" I replied, still baffled that I'm speaking to Max from art class. The last time I saw him was probably 13 years ago, when we were 12!

“I've been doing great, Edward. So much has changed in my life ever since the last time we saw each other," he replied with a smile. Life must have been going well for him.

"That’s really good to hear. How do you know Jacintha if I may ask?” I asked.

"Oh, she works at the bakery I go to every day, the bread there is a-mazing. We started talking and when she told me that Edward Chai is her boyfriend, I couldn’t believe it! What a coincidence am I right?” he exclaimed.

We chatted