I Spy With My Little Heart by Kiki XoXo (pdf e book reader TXT) 📕

with Caleb and Casey. The seven minutes in heaven was new, and so was the hospital visit. Those are memories. That is what happened that night. I sit up, rubbing my eyes. What brought all the other memories back I wonder. I guess I did just see Caleb and Casey today at school yesterday. I shake my head, unsure if that was a nightmare or not.  Of course it was a bad dream, but that wasn't as bad as it normally is.  What he siadi rings in my ears like usual. "You're my favorites... Blaire.". I shake it all off, able to push it away. I get in the shower again, to start my day. Slipping into a different outfit I was given, I braid my hair back, and go to breakfast. 

 

Sitting at the table with the girls for breakfast all dressed in normal clothes draw attention of course but they dont ask. I'm not aloud to share what my missions are with them anyways, so that's more then likely why they didn't ask. Luke comes and taps me on shoulder a little bit later, and I know it's time to go. I wave to them, and follow Luke out.

 

"How'd you sleep?" he asks.

 

"I had a weird dream..." I admit scratching my eyebrow, he looks over at me. "Okay so it was about that night." I begin, and he listens intently. I never talk about it with him. He knows I don't like talking about it, so when I do talk about it he listens carefully. "I was at a party.. which I already knew... but Casey and Caleb were there. I went there with them." I say. "It was just like the whole memory being replayed." I shake my head.

 

"Hmmm..." He sighs, thinking about it. "Seeing them probably triggered it. Was there anything else weird?" he asks.

 

"Well... it even went on and continued up until when the doctor told me to go home and rest." I shrugged, "My parents faces were davasted they were so disapointed." I whisper. "If that wouldn't have happened... maybe they would have kept me." I think out loud.

 

"Why would you want even think that?" Luke questions me. "They sold you Blaire. If you could go back and not not go the party or what ever, would you still really want to live there with them, knowing that they would sell you."

 

"No I wouldn't." I look at the ground. That's a great point. We load into the vehicle, and the rest of the  ride is quite. Both of us deep in thought. Once we pull up the school, Luke gets out with me. "What are you doing? You going to school too?" I try a joke. We left things serious.

 

"No I wanted some privacy." He looks at the front seat driver, oh so this is serious too. "Friday after the game I'm going to let you go to that party."

 

"I don't wa-" I begin confused, but he interupts.

 

"Go to there house. Get information. Figure this out for the both of us, and then you can come back home." He says, and then with that he gets back into the vehicle.  I watch as they drive away. Okay then.

 

"So you guys have a driver?" Caleb asks, walking up to me. I just nod with a shrug. How else would I explain that? "That's cool... so you must have money then.." He says glancing up at the school, then back to me. We walk inside, and I explain that my foster family did have money. "Anyways... so I think you already know but, my sister and I are throwing a party at our place Friday." he begins slowly. "And I know that the last party you went to with us things didn't go good." He sighs, and him bringing that night up makes me think about my dream.

 

"Does Mason still go to school here?" I ask, and he pauses. I look up at him in curiosity.

 

"You remembered him.. but not Casey or me?" He asks, confused and hurt.

 

"Memories are... slowly coming back to me." I sigh. "Now what about this party?" I ask. Now he smiles, and steps in front of me. What on earth is he doing? I look around, and other students aren't paying any attention. I look up at him and his smile is confident and knowing.

 

"Will you go to the party with me?" He asks.

 

"It's at your place isn't it?" I ask and he nods, "So... you'll already be there once I get there... I wouldn't be going with you." His face falters at my smart ass reply. "And... I think I'll have to talk to Casey before I can answer you. I don't want to start things off between us weird."

 

"Makes sense, just let me know?" I nod, and he winks and walks towards the crowd of kids. I avoid it and find my way to my locker. I go to my first period class, Anatomy and hang out talking with Mr. Witeman. He is actually a very interesting person to talk to, very open minded and kind. He asks, about my family, and I tell him the whole fake foster family thing, and by the look on his face he hasn't ever heard anything like it. But the look on his face doesn't have pity. It's more of a proudness. He is proud that I'm still alive and trying even though I've been through so much.

 

Once the first bell rings and class starts,  I lay my head down on the desk, after I finish my page in the packet. Landon and John copy of of mine again, and they talk to me about going to the party as well. They want me to go with them too.

 

"I've already been asked." I say after they finish.

 

"Damn Rike, he is a fast fucker."  Landon sighs, leaning back. I watch as him and John as they look at each other with smirks.

 

"How'd you know it was Caleb?" I ask, looking at them both.

 

"He's had a crush on you since we were in like fifth grade." They laugh as if it's commonsense.

 

"I left for like 4 years though." I inform them, and they just role their eyes.

 

"Well now your back and smokin hot." John sighs, and I look down at my paper unsure what to say to that. "Did you say yes?"

 

"No. I don't plan on saying it either." I tell them. They both turn and look at me, as if I just said the unthinkable. "What? I just don't want it to cause trouble anywhere or with any one." I lean back, and we get shushed by Mr. Witeman.

 

"What about us?" Landon asks.

 

"I'll go wtih you." I shrug. They give each other loud high fives, and Mr. Witeman looks at us again.  I apologize and we all quiet down talking about random stuff up to the bell. Then I'm on my way to Food and Culture, and I'm happy to find out she isn't here today so we just have a study hall. I ask to go to the library, and when I go in there I'm meet with Landon and John again. They're whole group of friends seems to be here, and I introduce myself, and we mess around for the whole period.

 

We all turn our heads and look to see who came into the library, when we hear the door close. It's Casey. She looks at all of them, but stops at me. I wave, feeling weird with her staring at me.

 

"What's going on?" She asks, walking slowly over to where we are.

 

"Just chillin waiting for thrid period." Landon is the first person to speak.

 

"I see... umm Blaire could I have a word." She asks, practically ignoring Landon. I nod once getting up, I tell them I'll be right back. I follow her out of the library and she looks around to seeif other people are coming, once she knows we're alone she looks at me sternly. "What are you doing with those idiots!?"

 

"They aren't idiots.. they're actually kind of smart." I start, and from the look on her face I can  tell that was the wrong answer. "And they are a lot more fun then sitting in Food and Culture doing nothing."

 

"Blaire.. I'm just saying becareful around them. They aren't good people to get messed up with you." She says, slowly as if I wouldn't understand her at all if she spoke at a normal pace. The way she tries the control me and tell me the way I should act! I don't like it. What crawled up her ass and made her Queen Bee?

 

"Casey.. can we get something straight?" I ask, ready to set her in her place. Her place... the party. I need to stay on her good side. I let out a breath, and she asks me what I was gonna say. "I just want you to know that I wont fall into some pit of drugs." I smile cheerily, and so does she.

 

"Good!" she says, "Oh, I heard Caleb talking to some of his friends ealier... he said that you were going to hang out with him at the party?" she knudges me, and I shake my head. "What? Why?"

 

"He did ask me.. but I told him probably not. I don't want things to be awkward between me and you." I make up. Of course that's the reason I"m going to tell everyone here. I can't just openly say hey, I'm here to spy on your borther, so I don't want any relationships. She thinks about what I said for a moment, and I can't tell if she is mad or just thinking about it.

 

"Well... I think you should just go for it... I mean nothing stopped the two of you before right?" She giggles, punching my shoulder in a friendly manner, and then she prances off. I watch after her wondering what she means by nothing stopped us before. I don't remember the two of us doing anything! Did we do something? Who can I ask to find out for sure? I turn back into the library, and they all ask me what she wanted.

 

"Were Caleb and I like a thing before I left?" I sit down, and they all look between each other. As if I must be crazy. I don't like it. "Just answer the damn question.. I don't remember that's why I'm asking."  Landon snickers, and John leans forward clearing his throat. I get told a bunch of little facts about my past that I totally forgot about, and I wonder how I don't remember some of the things they tell me.  "We really got caught making out during a movie? While at school?" I cover my face with my hands.

 

"It wasn't really making out.. it was more of a passionate kiss." Landon informs me, and I rub my eyes. How does this kind of stuff just disapear from a persons mind? Acording to what they told me Caleb and I were an unofficial couple. Always together, whispering and flirting and smiling. Sneaking around behind Casey's back but she eventually caught on. She was alright with it though, she wanted us to actually get together and be a couple. But we never did just in case it didn't work, then we wouldn't feel to awkward around each other afterwards.  It's weird  because John was even able to tell me about the night of the party. Casey was apparently telling everyone what happened that night. Before the three of us left, Casey caught Caleb and I in his room on his bed. He had his shirt off, and he had his hands up my shirt.  Then I disapeared from the party and was never seen or heard from again until now.

 

"Well.. I guess I didn't think any of it was to spectacular.. I don't remember any of it." I sit back, seriously not comprehending how I don't remember a boy touching me like that.  In fact the only time I ever remember anybody touching