Truth of Dark Pasts by Serena Wood (win 10 ebook reader TXT) 📕

“Don’t tell me you went off to sleep with some guy when I told you to go apologize to Ellie.” she crosses her arms and gives me this glare. “What? No! I did go apologize to Ellie, I’m not a total asshole. Jesus, glad you think so highly of me.” I cross my arms and copy her stance, trying to look angry but really I’m just glad she didn’t actually figure me out. “Oh… Sorry, you just looked really guilty of getting laid.” she snickers at me before moving to pack up her stuff.

For a moment I consider telling her what happened, I know she’d listen and I really could use someone to talk too right now. But then again, there’s no telling how she’d react and I couldn’t really take it if she started criticizing me. I shuffle my feet and try to look innocent. Like always, though, she sees right through me. ”… She doesn’t have some brother I don’t know about, does she? “ I kinda wish she would stop bringing up guys… “No, would you stop that? I didn’t have sex with any guys. No brothers, no distant cousins. Happy?” I sit down and cross my arms again. She seems to buy the act for now and grumbles at me. “Fine, I’m late for work so I’ll deal with you later.” I relax a bit when she says that but once she gathers her things she gives me one last look. “Hey, weren’t you wearing my Hollister shirt when you left?”  shit. “um… yeah, I uh.. got a stain on it when I was at Ellie’s.”

“That top’s new, you better not have ruined it. And don’t forget to go back over there and get it today.” she swings her purse over on her shoulder and makes her way out of the kitchen after giving me another glare. “But…” the protest leaves me involuntarily, I can’t go back there. She stops in the doorway, “But what? You shouldn’t have a problem going over there, right?” I lower my head in defeat, so much for my disappear plan. “No.” I grumble and finally she leaves.

I leave the kitchen and stomp downstairs to the little hidden room my dad had set up for me in the basement years ago. I still remember how scared I was back than and how he made the room for me as if he were trying to make up for the wrongs he had done. Like father, like daughter I suppose.

I try to push aside all the horrible memories of the past that start to occur and I flop down on my bed. I know I’ll have to go back to Ellie’s eventually and I’ll worry about it like crazy later, but for right now I’m simply too worn out to bother with it.

☀Ellie☀

This wonderful dream floats around in my head. It’s bright and colorful and happy. It makes me feel like everything’s going to be okay. River is in the dream, which I should have expected; she usually is in my dreams. But this time the dream seems different. River seems different. In the dream, I wake up and she’s just there, smiling at me. At first it seems odd, I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long while. But this is a dream and the oddness of it quickly fades when the understanding of the dream comes to light.

She’s happy to be here, she’s not her usual sulky self. At least in the dream world I’m the one that can bring out this side of River. For a moment, I think it feels real. Like I could really be that one special person to somebody.

I hear this faint sound of a door closing, maybe it’s in the real world but regardless the dream goes on. She reaches up to play with my hair for a second, “Good morning, sleepy bones.” the tone brings a giggle out of dream me and if I were really awake now I would have reacted just the same.

Dream River moves to kiss my nose but suddenly her movements seem fuzzy. After a while she fades out and I realize I’m waking up. I try to keep my eyes closed in a vain attempt to stay in the dream. But it’s all but gone. The sound of birds chirping emerges from the real world.

I open my eyes, expecting the same happy universe that existed in my dreams. For a minute the sunshine and the birds leads me to believe I am still in that world. But gradually I start to wake up. River isn’t in this world. This time I don’t wake up to see her smiling at me. I don’t even wake up to see her laying beside me.

Confused, I look around the room with a yawn. Where did she go? Maybe she went to the bathroom, or to make breakfast. “River?” I call out for her but she doesn’t appear or shout out a reply in the distance. I get up and put my clothes on before  wandering around the house, I walk through the whole house and make it all the way back to my room. I soon catch on that she’s not even here anymore.

At last I finally wake up and the realization of what’s happening hits me like a brick wall.  She never came back last night like she said she would. When I woke up in the middle of the night to see her leaving, she wasn’t going to the bathroom or getting a glass of water. She was abandoning me.

I collapse back down onto the bed, suddenly feeling like there’s a huge weight on my chest. How could she do this? I knew as soon as it had happened that sleeping with her was a mistake, but in the back of my mind I felt like maybe something had finally gone right and my dream had come true. But I was so wrong. Even if it was a mistake I had never imagined that she would just leave in the middle of the night like that… Unless that was her plan all along.

She was using me. My first worry had been right all along. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to think she had actually cared about me. It must have just been sex to her…

I curl up under the blankets again, tears already forming. My muscles are still sore and I need to take my medicine, but I don’t care enough at the moment to pay that much mind. I force myself to close my eyes and go back to sleep before the crying starts. Sleep always seems to make the pain go away. Until I have to wake up.

The whole day goes by without that happening. I stay soundly asleep, stuck in my world. I hear Mom come home from work around noon, later than I thought she would arrive but I don’t pay it much attention, falling back asleep to escape my reality. She finally decides to wake me up around 8:30 to eat dinner and take my medicine. We eat the pizza she ordered in a surprisingly comfortable silence. Our meal may just be Domino’s but no matter what she always insisted on eating together, especially after dad left and for once I’m grateful for the silent dinner; because this time I at least have company.

The meal ends far too quickly, There’s not even any dishes to do tonight and despite my usual hate for it, I miss doing dishes with her. “Don’t forget your medicine, dear.” she calls out before I can go back upstairs. I find myself digging through the cabinet in the kitchen.“Are you feeling okay, sweetie? You’ve been sleeping all day. Maybe I should make an appointment to get you checked on.” She touches my forehead as I open up the medicine bottle.

“I’m fine, mom.” I grumble and take a swig of tea to help down the pills. Suddenly she gasps and I put down the cup to stare back at her. Before I can ask what’s wrong, this tone I’ve never heard her use spills out of her. “What is that on your arm??” I glance down at the bandage for a second before remembering. “A bandage.” I mutter stupidly before trying to cover it with the sleeve of my shirt.

“… The doctor’s told me to look after you and make sure you didn’t…. what happened to your arm, Ellie?” I’ve never seen her like this before, it’s like someone had tried to do something terrible to me. “It’s just some scratches, Mom. I… fell.” What would she do if she know I'm that someone who tried to do something terrible to myself?

“What happened to your arm Ellie?” She repeats in a sturner voice and it’s clear that lying would be fruitless, she always seems to see through my lies.

Nearly 30 minutes later I’ve managed to mutter through the story and she stays quiet, sitting at the kitchen table as I explain. I make sure to leave out everything that happened after I ended up back in my room. This sense of guilt washes over me as I make up an explanation that River slept on the couch and left this morning after checking up on me. I’d even thrown in the little detail of having breakfast just to ignore the truth about what really happened. I feel awful for lying to my mother, the one person I’ve always been closest to, but I can’t bring myself to disappoint her like that if I were to tell her what had really happened.

When the explanation is finished I stand near her end of the table awkwardly and shuffle my feet, not wanting to sit down in fear something will come of the close proximity. She’s silent for a while, a few minutes pass and she does nothing more than fiddle with her hands and try to compose herself. “Sit down.” she mumbles at last and the hoarse, strained tone she uses makes me sit down worriedly. She tries to hold back the tears that hover at the corner of her eyes, like a dam waiting to overflow “Let me… Let me see the cuts.” she looks up at me at last and lets out the quiet command.

“Mom…” the protest comes out of me before I really know what it is I’m going to say, anything really to avoid doing what she asks of me now. But the protest doesn’t have time to form, she cuts me off with this suddenly urgent tone. “Let me see, Elise.” I shrink back a bit at the sound of my name. She hasn’t called me Elise since that time I “ran away” at an amusement park when I was seven. The only time she uses my full name like that is when it’s absolutely necessary and it always had a way of making me crumble.

Carefully I unravel the sloppy bandage River had made, flinching when the material sticks to my skin