Essays On Education And Kindred Subjects (Fiscle Part- 11) by Herbert Spencer (best fiction novels to read TXT) 📕

Been Bad. This Remarkable Change She Ascribed Entirely To The

Comparative Mildness Of    The   English Discipline.

After The   Foregoing Exposition Of    Principles, Our Remaining Space May

Best Be Occupied By A Few Of    The   Chief Maxims And Rules Deducible From

Them; And With A View To Brevity We Will Put These In A Hortatory Form.

Do Not Expect From A Child Any Great Amount Of    Moral Goodness. During

Early Years Every Civilised Man Passes Through That Phase Of    Character

Exhibited By The   Barbarous Race From Which He Is Descended. As The

Child's Features--Flat Nose, Forward-Opening Nostrils, Large Lips,

Wide-Apart Eyes, Absent Frontal Sinus, Etc.--Resemble For A Time Those

Of The   Savage, So, Too, Do His Instincts. Hence The   Tendencies To

Cruelty, To Thieving, To Lying, So General Among Children--Tendencies

Which, Even Without The   Aid Of    Discipline, Will Become More Or Less

Modified Just As The   Features Do. The   Popular Idea That Children Are

"Innocent," While It Is True With Respect To Evil _Knowledge_, Is

Totally False With Respect To Evil _Impulses_; As Half An Hour's

Observation In The   Nursery Will Prove To Any One. Boys When Left To

Themselves, As At Public Schools, Treat Each Other More Brutally Than

Men Do; And Were They Left To Themselves At An Earlier Age Their

Brutality Would Be Still More Conspicuous.

Not Only Is It Unwise To Set Up A High Standard Of    Good Conduct For

Children, But It Is Even Unwise To Use Very Urgent Incitements To Good

Conduct. Already Most People Recognise The   Detrimental Results Of

Intellectual Precocity; But There Remains To Be Recognised The   Fact That

_Moral Precocity_ Also Has Detrimental Results. Our Higher Moral

Faculties, Like Our Higher Intellectual Ones, Are Comparatively Complex.

By Consequence, Both Are Comparatively Late In Their Evolution. And With

The One As With The   Other, An Early Activity Produced By Stimulation

Will Be At The   Expense Of    The   Future Character. Hence The   Not Uncommon

Anomaly That Those Who During Childhood Were Models Of    Juvenile

Goodness, By And By Undergo A Seemingly Inexplicable Change For The

Worse, And End By Being Not Above But Below Par; While Relatively

Exemplary Men Are Often The   Issue Of    A Childhood By No Means Promising.

Be Content, Therefore, With Moderate Measures And Moderate Results. Bear

In Mind That A Higher Morality, Like A Higher Intelligence, Must Be

Reached By Slow Growth; And You Will Then Have Patience With Those

Imperfections Which Your Child Hourly Displays. You Will Be Less Prone

To That Constant Scolding, And Threatening, And Forbidding, By Which

Many Parents Induce A Chronic Domestic Irritation, In The   Foolish Hope

That They Will Thus Make Their Children What They Should Be.

This Liberal Form Of    Domestic Government, Which Does Not Seek

Despotically To Regulate All The   Details Of    A Child's Conduct,

Necessarily Results From The   System We Advocate. Satisfy Yourself With

Seeing That Your Child Always Suffers The   Natural Consequences Of    His

Actions, And You Will Avoid That Excess Of    Control In Which So Many

Parents Err. Leave Him Wherever You Can To The   Discipline Of    Experience,

And You Will Save Him From That Hot-House Virtue Which Over-Regulation

Produces In Yielding Natures, Or That Demoralising Antagonism Which It

Produces In Independent Ones.

By Aiming In All Cases To Insure The   Natural Reactions To Your Child's

Actions, You Will Put An Advantageous Check On Your Own Temper. The

Method Of    Moral Education Pursued By Many, We Fear By Most, Parents, Is

Little Else Than That Of    Venting Their Anger In The   Way That First

Suggests Itself. The   Slaps, And Rough Shakings And Sharp Words, With

Which A Mother Commonly Visits Her Offspring's Small Offences (Many Of

Them Not Offences Considered Intrinsically), Are Generally But The

Manifestations Of    Her Ill-Controlled Feelings--Result Much More From The

Promptings Of    Those Feelings Than From A Wish To Benefit The   Offenders.

But By Pausing In Each Case Of    Transgression To Consider What Is The

Normal Consequence, And How It May Best Be Brought Home To The

Transgressor, Some Little Time Is Obtained For The   Mastery Of    Yourself;

The Mere Blind Anger First Aroused Settles Down Into A Less Vehement

Feeling, And One Not So Likely To Mislead You.

Do Not, However, Seek To Behave As A Passionless Instrument. Remember

That Besides The   Natural Reactions To Your Child's Actions Which The

Working Of    Things Tends To Bring Round On Him, Your Own Approbation Or

Disapprobation Is Also A Natural Reaction, And One Of    The   Ordained

Agencies For Guiding Him. The   Error We Have Been Combating Is That Of

_Substituting_ Parental Displeasure And Its Artificial Penalties, For

The Penalties Which Nature Has Established. But While It Should Not Be

_Substituted_ For These Natural Penalties, We By No Means Argue That It

Should Not, In Some Form, _Accompany_ Them. Though The   _Secondary_ Kind

Of Punishment Should Not Usurp The   Place Of    The   _Primary_ Kind; It May,

In Moderation, Rightly Supplement The   Primary Kind. Such Amount Of

Sorrow Or Indignation As You Feel, Should Be Expressed In Words Or

Manner; Subject, Of    Course, To The   Approval Of    Your Judgment. The   Kind

And Degree Of    Feeling Produced In You Will Necessarily Depend On Your

Own Character; And It Is Therefore Useless To Say It Should Be This Or

That. Nevertheless, You May Endeavour To Modify The   Feeling Into That

Which You Believe Ought To Be Entertained. Beware, However, Of    The   Two

Extremes; Not Only In Respect Of    The   Intensity, But In Respect Of    The

Duration, Of    Your Displeasure. On The   One Hand, Avoid That Weak

Impulsiveness, So General Among Mothers, Which Scolds And Forgives

Almost In The   Same Breath. On The   Other Hand, Do Not Unduly Continue To

Show Estrangement Of    Feeling, Lest You Accustom Your Child To Do Without

Your Friendship, And So Lose Your Influence Over Him. The   Moral

Reactions Called Forth From You By Your Child's Actions, You Should As

Much As Possible Assimilate To Those Which You Conceive Would Be Called

Forth From A Parent Of    Perfect Nature.

Be Sparing Of    Commands. Command Only When Other Means Are Inapplicable,

Or Have Failed. "In Frequent Orders The   Parents' Advantage Is More

Considered Than The   Child's," Says Richter. As In Primitive Societies A

Breach Of    Law Is Punished, Not So Much Because It Is Intrinsically Wrong

As Because It Is A Disregard Of    The   King's Authority--A Rebellion

Against Him; So In Many Families, The   Penalty Visited On A Transgressor

Is Prompted Less By Reprobation Of    The   Offence Than By Anger At The

Disobedience. Listen To The   Ordinary Speeches--"How _Dare_ You Disobey

Me?" "I Tell You I'll _Make_ You Do It, Sir." "I'll Soon Teach You Who

Is _Master_"--And Then Consider What The   Words, The   Tone, And The   Manner

Imply. A Determination To Subjugate Is Far More Conspicuous In Them,

Than Anxiety For The   Child's Welfare. For The   Time Being The   Attitude Of

Mind Differs But Little From That Of    A Despot Bent On Punishing A

Recalcitrant Subject. The   Right-Feeling Parent, However, Like The

Philanthropic Legislator, Will Rejoice Not In Coercion, But In

Dispensing With Coercion. He Will Do Without Law Wherever Other Modes Of

Regulating Conduct Can Be Successfully Employed; And He Will Regret The

Having Recourse To Law When Law Is Necessary. As Richter Remarks--"The

Best Rule In Politics Is Said To Be '_Pas Trop Gouverner_:' It Is Also

True In Education." And In Spontaneous Conformity With This Maxim,

Parents Whose Lust Of    Dominion Is Restrained By A True Sense Of    Duty,

Will Aim To Make Their Children Control Themselves As Much As Possible,

And Will Fall Back Upon Absolutism Only As A Last Resort.

But Whenever You _Do_ Command, Command With Decision And Consistency. If

The Case Is One Which Really Cannot Be Otherwise Dealt With, Then Issue

Your Fiat, And Having Issued It, Never Afterwards Swerve From It.

Consider Well What You Are Going To Do; Weigh All The   Consequences;

Think Whether You Have Adequate Firmness Of    Purpose; And Then, If You

Finally Make The   Law, Enforce Obedience At Whatever Cost. Let Your

Penalties Be Like The   Penalties Inflicted By Inanimate

Nature--Inevitable. The   Hot Cinder Burns A Child The   First Time He

Seizes It; It Burns Him The   Second Time; It Burns Him The   Third Time; It

Burns Him Every Time; And He Very Soon Learns Not To Touch The   Hot

Cinder. If You Are Equally Consistent--If The   Consequences Which You

Tell Your Child Will Follow Specified Acts, Follow With Like Uniformity,

He Will Soon Come To Respect Your Laws As He Does Those Of    Nature. And

This Respect Once Established, Will Prevent Endless Domestic Evils. Of

Errors In Education One Of    The   Worst Is Inconsistency. As In A

Community, Crimes Multiply When There Is No Certain Administration Of

Justice; So In A Family, An Immense Increase Of    Transgressions Results

From A Hesitating Or Irregular Infliction Of    Punishments. A Weak Mother,

Who Perpetually Threatens And Rarely Performs--Who Makes Rules In Haste

And Repents Of    Them At Leisure--Who Treats The   Same Offence Now With

Severity And Now With Leniency, As The   Passing Humour Dictates, Is

Laying Up Miseries For Herself And Her Children. She Is Making Herself

Contemptible In Their Eyes; She Is Setting Them An Example Of

Uncontrolled Feelings; She Is Encouraging Them To Transgress By The

Prospect Of    Probable Impunity: She Is Entailing Endless Squabbles And

Accompanying Damage To Her Own Temper And The   Tempers Of    Her Little

Ones; She Is Reducing Their Minds To A Moral Chaos, Which After Years Of

Bitter Experience Will With Difficulty Bring Into Order. Better Even A

Barbarous Form Of    Domestic Government Carried Out Consistently, Than A

Humane One Inconsistently Carried Out. Again We Say, Avoid Coercive

Measures Whenever It Is Possible To Do So; But When You Find Despotism

Really Necessary, Be Despotic In Good Earnest.

Remember That The   Aim Of    Your Discipline Should Be To Produce A

_Self-Governing_ Being; Not To Produce A Being To Be _Governed By

Others_. Were Your Children Fated To Pass Their Lives As Slaves, You

Could Not Too Much Accustom Them To Slavery During Their Childhood; But

As They Are By And By To Be Free Men, With No One To Control Their Daily

Conduct, You Cannot Too Much Accustom Them To Self-Control While They

Are Still Under Your Eye. This It Is Which Makes The   System Of

Discipline By Natural Consequences So Especially Appropriate To The

Social State Which We In England Have Now Reached. In Feudal Times, When

One Of    The   Chief Evils The   Citizen Had To Fear Was The   Anger Of    His

Superiors, It Was Well That During Childhood, Parental Vengeance Should

Be A Chief Means Of    Government. But Now That The   Citizen Has Little To

Fear From Any One--Now That The   Good Or Evil Which He Experiences Is

Mainly That Which In The   Order Of    Things Results From His Own Conduct,

He Should From His First Years Begin To Learn, Experimentally, The   Good

Or Evil Consequences Which Naturally Follow This Or That Conduct. Aim,

Therefore, To Diminish The   Parental Government, As Fast As You Can

Substitute For It In Your Child's Mind That Self-Government Arising From

A Foresight Of    Results. During Infancy A Considerable Amount Of

Absolutism Is Necessary. A Three-Year Old Urchin Playing With An Open

Razor, Cannot Be Allowed To Learn By This Discipline Of    Consequences;

For The   Consequences May Be Too Serious. But As Intelligence Increases,

The Number Of    Peremptory Interferences May Be, And Should Be,

Diminished,