Frogs and Mice at War by Imonikhe Ahimie (best fiction novels of all time TXT) 📕

“With a modicum of care, the thoughtful mouse can avoid trap or hawk. But imagine, my dear frog king, even deep in one’s hole, where neither trap nor hawk threaten, there’s no guarantee that one’s safe from that odious creature. The weasel, yes the weasel, is the true bane of our existence for almighty Zeus has given it the power to search us out and do us to death even when we lie inoffensively in our holes!

“I have only to tell you then, that this very day, just before I came to the shore of your marshy home, I escaped the attentions of one of these dreaded and so dreadful monsters. And, let me tell you,” and here the mouse’s voice took on a distinctly prideful note, “it is not every mouse who finds him or herself of interest to a weasel that lives to tell of it!”

Puffcheek stared at him with admiration in his eyes and he all but applauded the mouse.

“Well, my estimation of you was absolutely right after all. It is rare that I make mistakes when I make such estimations of worthiness or the lack of it and I am pleased that I did not make one in this instance. Why, you are a veritable hero! Well worthy to be my friend and I declare without hesitation that I am proud to describe you as friend!

“Now friend, for I declare that you and I are friends from now on and for all time to come, a valiant fellow such as you are must not fear the waters. When almighty Zeus first brought my race into existence, and, by the by, I agree with you that the punishment inflicted upon my ancestors was absolutely justified for their lese-majesty against Apollo’s divine mother, he gave us the ability to live both on land and in water. So my friend, put aside any fears that you may entertain about venturing to visit my home; why, you’ll be with me and I assure you that you’ll be perfectly safe! Moreover, I promise that you’ll see a thing or two that will leave you breathless and astounded!

“Be of good cheer, therefore, and hop right on my back, hold on tight and let us be on our way!”

And with a cheery “your steed awaits”, Puffcheek hopped to the shore and turned his back towards Crumbfilcher who sprang lightly on. Once he was well settled and holding tightly onto the frog, away they went.

*****

Crumbfilcher was at first immensely pleased with this new adventure, his first ever foray on water. He was positively ecstatic.

Wow! Not just the escape from the weasel, but a visit to Puffcheek’s home! Boy, I’ll be the envy of everyone back at home, he thought.

But as the duo moved more and more into mid-water, his fear once again rose to the fore and began to get the better of him. Tearing at his fur, he drew his hind feet ever tighter around the frog’s midriff and, uttering pitiful, plaintive cries, he spread out his tail on the water trying to use it somewhat like an oar.

“Damn it! Oh, damn it!”, he cried out in bitter accents. “I’m certain that the beautiful Europa did not feel this way when the bull ran off with her and sped her across the waves to Crete! Oh, why did I ever consent to this mad adventure. Take me back Puffcheek! Please take me.........”

But even as he was bemoaning his fate and feeling sorry for himself, there, just before them, rose a snake, an enemy to both frogs and mice, from the waters. Without a second thought, Puffcheek dived for the bottom of the marsh and Crumbfilcher, his grip weakened as a result of the fear occasioned in his mind by the appearance of the snake, slid off the frog’s smooth back and was left floundering in the water! Once, twice and yet a third time he sank and each time he came back up screaming horribly and kicking desperately, but it was all hopeless. As the weight of his soaked fur prepared to drag him down for what would be last time, Crumbfilcher cried out with his last breath.

“Puffcheek, you traitorous frog, your perfidy will not go unpunished. On land, I would have bested you in boxing, wrestling or running but you treacherously lured me into the water where I am completely helpless. But be certain: the eyes of justice never sleep and you and your folk will rue this day for the race of frogs will pay a fearful price for this betrayal when the great army of mice come to avenge my death!”

And so Crumbfilcher died, but his death had not gone unseen. Sitting on the soft bank going about his business, Lickplatter had seen and heard everything and, uttering a sharp cry of dismay, he went off hotfoot to tell the mice the evil tidings.

*****

There was great wrath amongst the mice when the news of Crumbfilcher’s unhappy demise reached them and the heralds set out at once to summon everyone to a conclave the next morning at the hovel of Breadgnawer, father of the luckless Crumbfilcher whose body, floating mid-water, could not even be brought home for the final burial rites to be performed. So the mice came, one and all they came, and Breadgnawer spoke to them in the most bitter accents.

“Friends, you find me in extremely sad plight. I am utterly desolate for I have lost three sons; three sons whom I had hoped would be a comfort to me in my old age. The first was slain by a hateful weasel who caught him just outside his own hole. The second was done to death by cruel men by means of that odious newfangled device they call a trap. And now, my darling Crumbfilcher floats on the waters of the swamp, drowned on account of the treachery of those perfidious amphibians. For none of these sons have I even had the consolation of a dead body so that I could send them off to Pluto's’ dark kingdom in a manner fitting and proper for such valiant sons!”

He gnashed his teeth awhile, then: “But I am not alone in my loss. Here is Cheesestealer who has lost two sons to those cruel masters of the skies and here is Graineater.........

“But of what use is it to recount? Who is there amongst us who has not lost a father or a mother, a son or a daughter, a brother or a sister? Our lives are short and brutish, beset, as we are, by hateful enemies on every side.

“But, my dear friends, if we are unable to revenge ourselves against men, weasels and hawks, we ought, at least, to be able to do so against these treacherous amphibians, the descendants of impious ancestors! This despicable act of treachery, all the more galling because my brave boy had only just escaped the attentions of an odious weasel, clearly shows that these amphibian folk have yet to purge themselves of the impiety that first brought their race into existence. Ah! To have outwitted an odious weasel and then to fall to the knavish behavior of a mere frog!”

He once more gnashed his teeth before he went on.

“Therefore, I call upon you all: let us arm ourselves for war and proceed forthwith to wreak our vengeance upon that despicable race!”

A few others spoke and every speech was more or less in the same vein and there was unanimity in the council of the mice: the frogs were to be made to pay a high price for their unparalleled treachery. War, red war would be waged against the wicked frogs. So every mouse went off to his hole or hovel and made ready his arms.

For the greaves around their legs, these cunning rodents used the beans on which they fed at night and their breastplates were cleverly constructed from the skin of a dead weasel. Using the shells of nuts for helmets, they utilized skewers for spears. All was ready and at the crack of dawn the next day, the warlike mice marched out in battle array; it was a wonderful sight to behold, and they came to the shore of the marsh.

*****

The commotion on the shore of their marshy home aroused the attention of the frogs who summoned a council in order to determine what the matter might be. But they didn’t have to wait long in order to know what it was that the matter was, for the council had hardly been called to order when a herald came from the mice with a declaration of war.

“Hear this, you perfidious frogs, descendants of a bunch of impious ancestors! The valiant army of the mice, a pious and gods-fearing folk, demand that you arm yourselves forthwith and come out to do battle; and this for the sake of the most noble and ever valiant Crumbfilcher whom your king, the treacherous Puffcheek whose name will live forever in infamy, caused to drown in the most despicable manner imaginable and whose body, even now, lies floating on the cruel waters of your blasted marshland!”

Now, although the frogs were no less a valiant folk than were the mice, there was quite a bit of anger directed towards king Puffcheek, for there were quite a number of the folk at the council meeting that morning who felt that the king’s actions had been ungentlemanly at the least, and such actions, in the view of this group, had brought about an unnecessary war and there were suggestions by members of this faction that perhaps a delegation ought to be sent out to treat with the mice and offer the aggrieved rodents adequate reparations in recompense for Crumbfilcher’s unfortunate demise. But Puffcheek was having none of that and he set about promptly to squelch any such ideas.

“Dear friends; loyal subjects! These allegations against me are mere tripe and hogwash! Absolute baloney! Of course, I didn’t kill the mouse and I had nothing whatsoever to do with his death. I didn’t even see the fellow die! It seems to me entirely probable that that poor unfortunate drowned whilst amusing himself in the waters of our marshy home. Probably trying to swim like a fish, or perhaps a frog”, slyly. “You folk all know how feckless these rodents can be.”

There was much laughter and nodding of heads; no one had to tell them how feckless mice could be.

Puffcheek continued: “The charge of impiety really rankles! Why, ever since the impious act of our forebears, our race has been as pious and gods-fearing as anyone could reasonably expect! Do they really believe that they can blunt our arms by cries of impiety? Impiety! If any race has expiated any act of impiety, it is our own noble race. By the by, if the mighty son of Koronos really thought that the act of alleged impiety was that grave, would he have given us the ability to survive both on land and in the waters?

“And as for the proposal to offer these mice something in reparations, well........ Reparations for what, I ask! That proposal smacks of cowardice to me! Rank defeatism is what I call it!

“For my own part, I will have nothing to do with cowardly conduct! It is time and enough that these rodents are taught a lesson in manners; they oughtn’t to go about bringing baseless charges against innocent folk! Me! What have I do with mice? We must be bold and decisive. Let us arm ourselves and put an end to this rodent nuisance once and for always”.

There were loud cheers from the frogs as the listened to the king’s bold speech.

“Our best strategy, in my kingly view, is to make a stand near our