Frogs and Mice at War by Imonikhe Ahimie (best fiction novels of all time TXT) 📕

marsh where the bank is steepest so that when these arrogant land-lubbers come charging, all that we need do is to seize them by their helmets and help them along into the waters of the marsh. I fancy that Crumble, or whatever it was they named the floater, will have quite a few more of his compatriots for company before this day runs out.

 

“When it is all over, I decree that we’ll set up a lasting memorial on the bank of our marsh to commemorate our great victory, for, although I foresee a stern struggle against these impertinent folk, I predict that we will record a famous victory over the mice.

 

“We will fight them on our shores and we will fight them in our waters! We will chase them, their tails between their legs, all the way back to their miserable holes and hovels. We shall never surrender!”

 

The congregation was carried away by the king’s rhetoric and everyone rose spontaneously to give him a noisy standing ovation. Now they all were for the fight and without further ado, every one rushed off to his own house to don his armor.

 

The frogs were just as clever in the designing of their arms as had been the mice. For greaves, the used mallow leaves and they carried radish leaves for their shields. For spears, they carried rushes and they set snail shells upon their heads to serve for helmets. Then they marched out in battle array, no less glorious than were their opponents, and made their stand at the bottom of the steepest bank and, brandishing their weapons, they shouted for battle.

*****

Now, these earth-bound shenanigans had not escaped notice in higher quarters for these goings-on were being watched with keen interest high up on Mount Olympus, for the dispute between the mice and the frogs had caught the attention of Zeus, the mighty son of Koronos, as he lolled on his couch feeling somewhat bored. Summoning all the gods and goddesses to him Zeus drew their attention to the warlike preparations that mice and frogs alike were engaged in and he wondered aloud whether any of the gods would be willing to lend aid to any side that might find itself sorely pressed as the hostilities progressed. When no one answered, the all-father turned to the Lady Athena and addressed her.

 

“Well, virgin daughter, I am certain that you will gladly lend aid to the mice for they are forever running about in your shrines enjoying the fat morsels which they pick from the sacrifices which the sons of men offer gladly in order to gain your favor.”

 

But the Lady wasn’t having any of that.

 

“Pop, nothing on Olympus or on earth will by any means lead me to lend my aid to the mice for their mischief is extremely vexatious to me. Those of them that inhabit my temples do not restrict themselves to picking the fat morsels that drop from the sacrificial offerings brought by mortal men. They go on to nibble at the garlands that that the sons of men place to adorn my house making them unsightly and they they spoil the lamps that provide light in my shrines on account of their insatiable thirst for the sweet olive oil used for the lighting of the lamps!

 

“But I have an even greater grouse against these terrible rodents than the depredation they cause in my shrines; after all, when all is said and done, I don’t actually live in any of my shrines or temples. But right here on high Olympus, in my very own chamber, the mice ate holes in a robe which I’d just woven, and you will recall, dad, that I have more than once complained about the rodent problem that we have here on Olympus. We really ought to have a god assigned full time to the matter of rodent control. Mice, rats......

 

“Anyway, the robe that I speak of was woven from the finest threads anyone can imagine and I was exceedingly proud of my handiwork. Well, I have had to have it repaired and the folk in Hephaestus’ shop who mended it charged an arm and a leg for the repairs, greedy little hirelings that they are! They would have charged more if I had not haggled fairly sharply!

 

“Moreover, consider this: I borrowed those fine threads with which I wove the robe! Now I am stuck with two debts: the debt to person from whom I got the fine threads, as well as the debt to Hephaestus' greedy little hirelings who carried out the repairs on the partly eaten robe! Lord Hephaestus, you really ought to do something about your underlings, you know.

 

“At all events, given these circumstances, I am sure that you will understand, father, why I will not be lending any aid whatsoever to those rodents.”

 

Zeus replied: “Poor girl! Well daughter, I can see that you have more than adequate grounds to be extremely vexed with the mice. In these circumstances, I must confess to feeling somewhat sorry for those wretched mice; they’ll stand absolutely no chance since you’ll obviously be throwing your lot in with the frogs.”

 

“Surely, virgin sister, you’ll not be lending aid to the descendants of those who desecrate deity!”, cried Artemis, instinctively snatching at her silver bow!

 

Athena threw an ironic glance the way of the huntress as she replied.

 

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, virgin sister! And mind how you snatch at that pretty bow of yours or I'll wrap round your neck! Anyway, I’ll not be lending my aid to the frogs, and its not just because they are descended from those who thought it was hip to insult one who was infinitely superior to them! By the way, pop, I’ve always thought that the punishment you meted out to those impious folk was a bit on the light side; you all know what I did to Medusa when she tried that impiety stuff on me!

 

“The point though is not so long ago, dad, I returned exhausted from stern battle. All I wanted to do was to crash on my sleeping couch and catch a bit of shuteye. But did I get any restful sleep? Absolutely not! Those infernal amphibians kept me awake for the rest of the night with their incessant croaking and there I lay, sleepless and all headachy, counting the rafters until the cocks announced the dawn of a new day!

 

“But hey, listen dad, sister Artemis and all you immortals. Why bother to give support to either side? Why don’t we just sit back and let both sides sock it out to each other while we watch the fun? Life up here on Olympus is boring enough at the best of times and I’m certain that we could all use some comic relief; I know that I could!”

 

“Well, with all the preparations those little ones have been engaged in, it certainly promises to be an epic battle at all events”, declared Apollo, the golden-haired one, laughing gaily. “I think the glorious Lady Athena is absolutely right, as she almost always is. Yes, pop; let’s do just as the Lady says.”

 

Apollo’s view reflected the general outlook and that great assembly cried out in support so, bowing his head in acceptance, the mighty son of Koronos indicated that he also had come to the view that some comic relief for the inhabitants of Olympus was on the cards and, as the only show in town was the upcoming battle between the rodents and the amphibians, that was what the immortals of Olympus were going to watch.

*****

One thing was certain, that day: any ennui suffered by the immortals of Olympus was set aside that day for the battle was certainly an epic one and had all the stuff of which legends are made! The acts of valor done on both sides were numerous, uncountable really, and the bank of the marsh as well as its waters were reddened with the blood of the heroes who lost their lives that day. But in the ranks of the army of mice was a young hero, Bitstealer was his name, whose deeds of valor that day forever put him in the ranks of such unforgettable heroes as the incomparable Heracles, the son of Zeus himself and Alkmene, and the unmatchable Achilleus, the son of Thetis, the nymph, and Peleus.

 

Standing on that bank that day, Bitstealer swore a mighty oath that he would not leave the field of battle until he had destroyed the entire race of frogs; at least every single one of that race that called the marsh home! And he certainly would have achieved his declared aim, for such was his prowess that after the battle had been ongoing for a while the frogs just melted away in fear whenever he uttered his war cry in a manner similar to the manner adopted by the Trojans when they heard the war cry of Achilleus. That there was a remnant amongst the frog dwellers of that marshland that day was due entirely to the fact that the mighty son of Koronos had pity for the sad plight of the poor frogs and he ordered the Lady Athena and Ares, whose greatest delight is to engage in warfare, to go at once to the field of battle and drive Bitstealer from the fray. But, for once, Ares was not over eager to go to battle.

 

Ares said: “My father, I’m not at all certain that my might, even in combination with that of the glorious lady, will be sufficient to bring about any meaningful succor to these poor beleaguered frogs for, in all my time on the field of battle, I have never come across nor heard tell of a hero quite in the mold of this phenomenal mouse!

 

“My suggestion is that we, all of us gods together, go to their aid and that you, mighty Zeus, employ those terrible weapons which you alone wield; the weapons with which you brought the Titans and Giants low in past time!”

 

Athena concurred with the assessment made by Ares so the mighty son of Koronos hurled his scathing thunderbolts. The lightnings flashed in the heavens and mighty Olympus shook and the very earth quaked at the violence of that fearsome barrage. Fear struck the hearts of the combatants on both sides and they all made haste to leave the field.

 

Well, not quite all of them! That incomparable hero, the matchless warrior, the indomitable Bitstealer, disdaining to flee, stood his ground and, seeing the enemy turn tail and flee cried out:

 

“See there! They flee!”

 

His triumphant shout accompanied by his terrible war cry, which rose above even that fearful din, rallied the mice to him and they pursued the fleeing enemy and wreaked even more havoc so that the later slaughter was greater even than the former slaughter had been! So determined was Bitstealer to carry out his avowed intention! Clearly, more drastic measures were required if the marsh-dwelling frogs were not to be wholly annihilated! So, Zeus sent a new ally to aid the frogs in their dire predicament.

 

This new army came suddenly upon the mice. Their backs were mailed, hard and horny, and their claws were crooked. Though their gait was limping, yet they moved as rapidly as required, and their mouths were as sharp as shears. Their eyes were in their breasts, and their arms, all eight of them, were long, lean and very, very strong. The race of men call them crabs; the mice, that day, simply called them terrors! Using their shears-sharp mouths, the bit at the tails and feet of the mice and using their crooked claws, they broke their spears. A great terror fell upon the mice; their spirit was finally broken and they fled the field en masse. Only Bitstealer stood his ground, fighting the new enemy until he fell where he stood! And his last thought was: how can a mouse die better than by facing fearful odds!

 

And so, just as Helios was on the last,