My Sons Secret by Shannon A. (the lemonade war series txt) 📕

I was heading toward the living room, in a bad linen dress in cream, twenty pounds overweight, I could not help but to think of myself. Fat, ugly, feeling so un-beautiful. It was then that i heard the noise. I could feel the turn in my body, around the coffee table, under the arch of my kitchen, my legs almost loosing their place on the ground. The sound a mother should never hear, piercing screams and panic all in one pulse.
I felt the moments pass in short clicks of silence, the world leaving me as my eyes, my brain, my body tunneled into black. I focused only on the red blood on my baby's face. My husbands arms took his body to him in one quick sweep. I felt the fear of his tone travel through me as he said "call 911". I had no other mission but to do what he said. As i dialed i felt for the first time in my life, the spontaneity of death,and the fear of loss, that soldiers must feel. A true dread that nothing could change this particular space of time that you were in.
His last words to me were "Take the Baby". So i slipped my arms under my sons tiny hot body and watched my husband slide to the floor with chest pains. The two loves of my life, one on the ground and one in my arms.
I touched my husbands hand and asked him to stay with me and cradled our son to my chest with my free arm. I could not help but to focus on the small white sailboat delicately knitted into his navy blue sweater and the blue jeans he wore for the days play. How did we get here?
His face covered in blood, he told me over and over "mommy, i cant see", "mommy i cant see". One tiny beautiful blue eye filled with dark red blood, and his brain turned off his other eye, he was in darkness.
A place inside me grew cold and strong. I slipped his socks off, lifted his feet above his head and told him that he was fine, that we would be fine. My body drifted to a place distant from my heart, a place of life or death. If he was not dead, then that was all that mattered, only death was bad. Anything in between, we could accept. It was somewhere no person should have to visit, a place of pure desperate survival. His tiny hands held my fingers and we waited together in darkness for someone to save our family. It was the wait of a lifetime.


...more to come, have to stop tonight..too much

Publication Date: 01-05-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To my son who is the strongest person I have ever known and the love of my life...I am so proud of you!