Broken by Vic Johnson (accelerated reader books txt) 📕

‘No Brookes coming’

He nodded ‘how come Freddie brought you home yesterday?’

I smiled. I bet he had been waiting ages to ask me that ‘Brooke had a cheerleading thing and I was saying I would wait for her and Freddie overheard and offered’

‘Ok’ he said. He didn’t look convinced but it was the truth.

He helped me out of the car and up to the house.

‘You better not come in in case they are waiting up’ I say

‘Yeah that’s probably a good idea’ he says. I turn to face him when we get to the door. ‘See you at school’ he says and he leans in and kisses the side of my mouth. Just like when we first met.

I watch him walk down the driveway and get in his car. After he has driven away I go in the house.

Jessica is asleep on the sofa. I am actually shocked she waited up for me. Max comes out of the kitchen and motions for me to follow him back in.

When I get in there I sit on one of the stools. He makes me a cup of tea and sits opposite me. I take a sip and wait for him to speak.

‘Where is your phone?’ he asks me.

‘In my pocket’ I reply.

‘Does it work?’

‘Yeah’

‘So why did you not let us know where you were?’ ah that’s what he is getting at. I don’t say anything. I feel like a child. ‘The last time you went out by yourself you didn’t come back. I was really worried’

‘I’m so sorry’ I felt really guilty. I didn’t even think about that. ‘I fell asleep. I know that’s a really shitty answer but it is the truth’

‘You were with Jack?’

‘Yeah’

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever.

‘You still love him?’ Max asked.

I thought about that for a minute. Did I still love him? Could I forgive him? Did I want to?

‘All I know is I haven’t been able to breath properly while we were apart and last night I felt like I had finally caught my breath. Also I slept. Right through the night. No waking up, no nightmares, no cold sweats. I just slept’ he looked deep in thought ‘nothing happened. We didn’t even kiss’

‘You talked things over?’

‘I guess. It’s not going to be easy’ I thought about what Jacksons mum had said ‘can I ask you a question?

‘Yeah sure’

‘Will you be completely honest with me?’

‘Yeah if you want me to be’

‘I do’ he nodded. ‘Tammy said she thinks we should give up. That it’s not meant to be. How do you feel?’

He thinks for a minute and I sit drinking my tea waiting.

‘I think that when two people are supposed to love each other as much as you two did then the relationship shouldn’t break down the way it did’

I put my head down

‘Having said that. You are both young and you both dealt with it the best way you knew how. I don’t know how I would have dealt with that’

‘I feel like he gave up on us. Like I was clinging on for dear life and he just let me fall’ a tear rolled down my cheek and I brushed it away. ‘How do I know if I can trust him again?’

‘I guess only you can decide that. Personally I don’t think he will let you down again if you give him another chance’

‘I don’t either’

‘So what is holding you back?’

I sigh ‘It’s not just that I don’t know if I can trust him or if I still love him. It’s if I want to’ I rub my hands over my face ‘urgh this is so shit. Why did he have to do this? Why break up with me then just as I’m starting to feel ok tell me you still love me’

‘I think not seeing you made it easier for him and then he sees you at school and all those feelings he had come rushing back to the surface. You can’t deny the connection you two have. It’s just a matter of figuring out if it’s worth it’

‘If we can get back to what we were before then it will be worth it’ when I was with him everything was perfect. Now we are apart again I am questioning everything. ‘We are not back together and this reunion -if that’s what it turns out to be- will be a slow one’ I stand up ‘I am off to his for thanksgiving’

‘Oh good I didn’t want to leave you here alone’

‘Then I’m going home for Christmas so the time away after that might just be what we need’

‘Have you told him you’re leaving yet?’

‘No’ he was not going to take it well. ‘I’ll tell him after Thanksgiving. I’m going to get ready for school’

‘So last night I had sex with Charlie’ Brooke says completely out of the blue. We are in her car on the way to school and we were talking about our math homework.

‘What? How did we get from algebra to sex?’

‘I don’t even know how it happened’

‘Walk me through it’ I say

‘Ok so we have this History assignment due and we were paired up so he invited me to his house because his mum still is not there and it would be quiet’ I nod along so she knows I’m listening but I don’t speak. ‘I told you he was painting his bedroom and getting rid of the furniture so nothing would remind me of Maddie right?’

‘Yeah’ I say quickly

‘Well when I walked in it wasn’t just that he had erased Maddie I felt like he had erased us too. Anyway I got really upset and tried to leave and he was blocking the door and I was shouting something about all those memories that we shared in there and I think he kissed me just to shut me up. Next thing I knew we were having sex. When it was over I just left’

‘Erm…you just…you just walked out. Why?’

‘Don’t judge me. You walked out after you and Jack had sex for the first time’ she snapped

‘Calm down’ I say ‘that was totally different and you know it’

‘Sorry’ she says as we pull up to the school

‘Tell me why you left’

She sighed. ‘Afterwards we were laying there and I felt really happy but then I remembered what he did and I realised that I still love him. I didn’t know how to deal with that with him right next to me so I ran’

‘I guess that is understandable. He is going to want to talk to you today though, you know that right?’

‘Yeah I know. I keep trying to figure out if it’s worth it. If loving him is worth it’

I was just about to tell her that I knew how she felt when she screamed and started to punch the steering wheel. I sat back in shock. This was really out of character for her and I was worried.

When she stopped she looked at me and laughed

‘That felt good’ she said and got out the car.

‘What the hell was that?’ I asked getting out the car.

‘I just felt like I needed to scream’

Today was the last day of school before the break for Thanksgiving. The school was half empty with a lot of people leaving early to go visit relatives.

Max, Jessica and Paige were setting off tonight so I was going to be home alone for the first time since Halloween. I had asked Brooke to stay with me but she was also leaving tonight to go to her Grandmas. I thought about asking Jackson but I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

‘Do you think I should ignore Charlie till I get back?’ Brooke asked me when we got to my locker.

‘No’ I said. ‘Go find him now and explain’

‘Hey’ it was Jackson I could tell straight away. I turned around and he was opening his locker.

‘Hey’ I said. ‘Brooke look he is at his locker. Go do it now. Rip the band aid off. The quicker the better’

‘Ok your right im gonna do it’ and off she went.

‘What was that about?’ Jackson asked me.

‘Did you speak to Charlie last night?’

‘No he stayed at his own house last night’

‘Yeah so did Brooke’ I smiled as the realisation crossed his face.

‘Wow’ we both laughed

We watched the most awkward conversation ever in the history of conversations. They spoke for a few minutes then both ran off in opposite directions. We laughed again.

‘Well I better get to class’ Jackson said.

‘Wait’ I said and he stopped right in front of me. We were a bit closer then we should be so I stepped back one step. ‘What are you doing tonight?’

‘Nothing. My grandparents are coming in today so I’ll be hiding’

I smiled ‘Do you want to come to my house? Jessica and Max are leaving to go to his parents and I don’t want to be alone’

‘Yeah that sounds great. Shall I get some films?’

‘Yeah nothing too scary though and I’ll get some dinner’

‘I can’t wa…..’

‘What?’ please don’t say you can’t come

‘What about Max?’

‘What about him?’

‘I should ring him. I mean you said I have to win him back too so I better just make sure’

I nearly laughed ‘ok phone him at lunch. What about Charlie?’

‘He is going to his dads tonight’ I could tell he was thinking about what to say to Max.

‘I’ll see you at lunch’ I say walking off and leaving him there.

‘Hello’ Max answered

‘Max its Jack’

‘What’s up?’ straight to the point ok

‘Beth asked me to come round tonight so she isn’t on her own and I said I would but I just wanted to check with you that it was ok’

He was silent. What did that mean? 

‘Jackson I know how much Beth means to you but you betrayed her trust and left her when she needed you the most. I fought your corner over and over again with Jessica and all the people who said you would hurt Beth. I said no way would he do that he loves her. I look a fool now do you understand?’

‘Yeah’ what else could I say?

‘Because I don’t want her to be alone when she isn’t comfortable yet then you can come round but I don’t trust you’

‘I understand’ 

‘I don’t think you do Jack’ I stayed silent. ‘I went against my wife for you. When Beth was in the hospital I was constantly on the phone to my lawyer friends trying to help you. That lawyer you have is one of my best friends’ I didn’t know that. ‘I spoke to the police, I came to see you, and I tried everything to get you out. I adopted Beth so she could speak to the police as soon as she woke up. My wife has not spoken to me since except to scream at me. I did all that for you and what did you do? You ran away’ 

I took a deep breath ‘Max I know that there is nothing I can do to make that right. There is no amount of sorry that will ever make what I did ok. I know that. I knew that the minute I left the hospital. I should have gone back in, I really wanted to. The way she