Dear diary by stephanie mackie, tori dalyen (snow like ashes series txt) 📕

" I heard that" we laugh. Gabriela says " you still a virgin girl?" I say " no" she says " cool because I just became a slut" I laugh.We talk and fall asleep. I awake in Coles arms, Ethan is watching use, I open my eyes and Ethan laughs. I moan and throw my pillow at him and I snuggle into Cole. I fall asleep again. I hear a alarm, I awake beside my baby Cole. I get up and say " it's Friday right?" " Saturday" says Cole. I smile and I kiss his neck and I say " I love you" he moans and says " me too babe" I get up and I walk down. I grab my drug bottles and I grab some weed. I sit on the back deck and I start smoking and I take a pill, I drink more beer. Ethan walks out and says " that's bad for you" he says while sipping some beer I say " I don't give a fuck" he smiles and Cole comes down and says " sorry bud we slept here" he said " whatever" Cole took a pill. I said " see Ethan everybody takes drugs" he smirks and I take the Mariwana out. Ethan shakes his head and I say " fine" I put it away. i wanted you and only you

It's Saturday night....I walk around the table in my shorts and bra and a towel around my shoulders. Cole sits up and says " how you feeling?" I say " I loved that", and we had sex sorry to forget to tell you that. Alan bursts in and says "why Cole why take away my girl why?" He says " she choose me not you" I nod and Alan walks out. I walk back around the bar. I pick a alcohol bottle and bring it back around and I give it to Cole. He gets out of bed,and says " come cuddle" I nod and I cuddle with him. The alcohol bottle dropped and bursted into a billion peices. I say " I want more of you babe" he laughs and kisses me and says " you've had enough" I cuddle into his chest. He kisses my hair and head. Then Ethan bursts in. He leans against the bar and laughs and says " I was expecting this some time" I jump up and dive back into the bed and but the blanket over us. Cole takes his head out from under the covers and says " does it stink in here?" Ethan nods. Cole says " get out man" " ok then" and he walks out and I jump up and lock the door. I slide down the door. Ethan walks over and says " you ok?" I say " I'm scared, I just wanted to ask disk we use protection?" He says " I'm so so so so sorry, no we didn't" I shake my head and I say " will you leave me if I'm pregnant" he says " I won't, it takes 2 people to make a baby" I smile and hug him. I put my shirt on and I say " can I borrow some jeans from your sis?" He nods and gets dressed. He walks out and about 20 mins later, we find Ethan skipping, around the table making supper I say " where's your dad Cole?" He says " grabbing supper" I take Ethan and say " stop it man, were getting pizza ok?" He jumps and laughs, I say " is he high" Cole says " he never gets high but he might be" I laugh and we hears knock at the door. I open it and the pizza delivery guy is a boy I've seen a couple of times in the halls. I say " thanks how much?" He says " Cole will pay me tommorow" I say "bye then" I shut the door. I say "who's that kid?" Cole says " this kid named Brian from our school" then quickly adds " a nerd and he's gay" I gag and Cole laughs and says " ALAN AND AMANDA AND ETHAN PIZZA ASSES" I say " why did you add that at the end" he says " it's cool" and Amanda rushes down and grabs a plate. She at least in grade 7 I think. She grabs her phone and Awnsers it and say " baby stop," and adds " no I don't know if darla is a virgin, OMG she might be a slut" and Cole laughs. I smile. I say " how old is she" " 12" I say " wow she's young to be talking about sex and those type of things" Cole nods in agreement. Alan walks down grabs a plate and grabs two peices and runs back upstairs. I smile and Cole says "he's jealous he'll always be jealous". I sigh.

remembering jeff

I finish supper and I say to Cole " I need to go have a walk ok?" He says " be careful" I smile and he tries to kiss me but I turn my head. I walk out and I take a pill. I walk down the drive way and down to the park. I turn and see a couple walking. I keep walking and I sit on a bench and I say "WHERE AM I JEFF WHERE AM I ?" I cry and I fall asleep. I awake in somebody's arms. I look up and I see Cole. He says "you fell asleep" I smile. But I'm disappointed that it isn't Jeff. I love Jeff why do I remember now, I haven't remembered it before why? I sit up and I say " thanx babe" he smiles and says " you ok?, you've been acting weird" I say " yaa I'm just really tired and I hurt a little still" he snuggle and says " it'll be ok" I say " I need some sleep, night" I walk up to his room.When I was half asleep, Cole came in and said "I love you, and Hun, did I do anything? Your acting like I hurt you" " no it's just I miss my old boyfriend and he's trying to contact me" he sighed and ran his hand through his hair and said " want me to help?" It's extremely complicated" he sat beside me and said " it's ok I love you and never forget that" I nod and sit up and I hug him. And I start crying and I hold him, he only has one arm around me. I look up and kiss him, he kisses me back and leans me back onto the bed and lays on-top of me, I have no idea how he got into me, I moan when he tuggs on my mini skirt, I slide my hand down and I unbutton it, and I take his shirt off, he takes my skirt down and I unbuckle his belt, and I rub his cock, I felt so awkward, I felt something harden, I opened his fly then his button, he moaned, I sucked his lip and he opened his mouth and I licked his mouth and he licked mine, and then he took his pants off, and I sat up and I let him undo my bra....

unwanted

I said " I love you Cole" and he snickered and but his hand on his waist and said " I can't believe it I just can't" I smile and rub his arm and I say " it's ok I know your moms gone but please have a little fun" he said " I can't I loved her to much" I put my bra on and he was standing with his hand on his waist leaning against the fire place in his boxers.... I got up and said " it's ok honey I love you and it's ok to get mad,get mad all you want"  he smiled and said " thank you I love you" I kiss him and I say " we need to get dressed its school" he says " shit wow we need a shower,wanna share?" I nod and we get into the huge bathroom. He takes his boxers off, and turns the water on, he gets in and I take my bra off, I take my thong off and fling it at the Mirror and he says " funny just like the movies" I run up and I put my legs onto him, and he holds me while the water runs down use, I kiss him and he smiled when we kissed, he says " lets get some shampoo" I nod and I get off and he says " get back on" I to as told. And he grabs some shampoo and says " tear free" I smell it and I smell loreal shampoo little kid shampoo, I laugh and he lathers it with one hand on my hair I get off and I say " look at my legs do you have any razors?" He nods and says " second draw" I run out and grab a shaver for a guy. I get back in and I shave and he says " wow that's real sexy" I laugh and I shave my arms pits, he says "why shave I don't get it" " It looks better" he laughs and says " you look great Harry" I smile and wash the shampoo out of my hair, and I put conditioner on and wash that out, he ticks me and I laugh and fall and he says " you ok" I nod and try up and I grab a towel and Cole shuts the water off, I