Love for Her by Chalen D. (ebook reader online .txt) 📕

You could of died!"
"Hey." i said, taking his hand.
"You have to be more careful, I don't want to lose you too."
"I'll be more careful Promise."
"Good."
"how's the damage?"
"Mom's Worried shit less."
"She always does. Can you tell her about my mistake? I'm not ready to face anyone."
"Yep, with out a doubt." He kissed my forehead.
I watched him go and fell back under.
"Come on, your head's hanging off the bed."
A hand with long fingers, put my head back on my pillow.
I turned in the bed.
"Hi, Ana."
"Ricky?"
"It's me."
"Go away." i said, turning away from him.
"Ana, we need to talk I miss you."
I closed my eyes.
"she is every where i go everyone I see.Walk away, I'm barely breathing as I lie on the floor, take my heart as your leaving, I don't need it anymore." he whispered.
"i can not escape the past, creeping up reminding me I can never bring you back. I want you In the most un-romantic way." I whispered back.
He took my hand that was resting on my side, and held onto it.
"Your tired." He kissed my hand. "We'll talk tomorrow."
"Hmm, 'k."
"Can I lay with you?"
"Ricky." I mumbled.
No way did I want to let him hold me. His shoes fell to the floor, and he stretched out beside me wrapping an arm around my rib cage.
"I thought you where in L.A."
"I couldn't bring myself to leave you." He said, kissing my shoulder.
"You should of."
A silence fell and I was pulled back under.
****
When I woke up I was alone. Shit. I miss him so much that I'm dreaming him here.
"Hey." Jake smiled, coming to sit by me.
"Did you call Ricky?" I asked, as he took my hand.
"Yeah." he said, ashamed.
I tightened my grip on his hand.
"what did he say?" i asked, through clenched teeth.
"We was already half way home, I'm guessing. I left him a message."
"And he didn't come here?"
"Nope."
"Good. Don't call him any more. ever."
"I got it." Jake nodded. "Are you mad at me?"
"I guess not."
"Don't be mad at me Andy. Not you."
"I'm not mad." I forced a smile.
I was reward with his lop sided grin. the one he uses to get out of trouble. Trent does it too.
"Cool."
Mom came in.
"Sorry mom, I was a retard."
"No." she said, touching my forehead."You had other things to think about."
"That's it? No, are you kidding me, Analise, what the fuck where you thinking?"
"oh, your grounded."
"There we go."
"Til your thirty."
"Deal." I smiled.
She kissed my forehead.
"When in the fuck can I get out of here? I'm starving and I have to pee as if I've been walking through the fucking Mojave desert."
"Now should be good." the Dr. said walking in.
"Oh shit, I am so sorry."
He smiled.
"It's okay, I understand. Look here."
I looked at his Finger and he shined a small flash light into my eyes and i flinched away.
"What the fuck. are you trying to blind her?" Jake asked.
"Jacob! sorry. He's kinda protective of his sister."
"It's fine. I'm protective of my sisters too. Jake right? i'm trying to make sure everything with Ana-"
"Andy." Jake cut him off.
"Andy. I need to know if everything is okay. Try again, Andy, look here."
I looked at his finger again, and fought the urge to look away.
"Very good. You can go, I'll have the nurse take your blood pressure and give you back your clothes. Pound that water and rest Andy."
"Thanks."
"Your welcome." He smiled.
He shook my Mom's hand and left.
"If I wouldn't get tossed in jail I would of hit him." Jake said.
"If you went to jail, I wouldn't put money on your books."
He threw his head back and laughed.
After I was changed I was able to go back home.
"What the fuck Andy?" Conner asked, throwing his hands in the air.
"Your back from Arizona?"
"Yeah, they told me you Od'ed, you gotta be careful, little sister." He said, for the first time pulling me into a hug.
He pulled back.
"What about your job?"
"I moved back. Gotta keep you two outta trouble." Conner said, musing mine and Jake's hair.
We grinned and fixed our hair.
Conner walked by my side.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Honest mistake."
"You can talk to me."
"I'll remember that." I said, letting Jake and Him help me into the car.
When we got home Ricky was sitting on the wall with roses.
"Fucking perfect." i mumbled.
"You good?" Conner asked.
I got out.
"Ana-"
"No." I said.
"Just-" he stood in front of me.
"Whoa Buddy, you best take a step back." Conner said.
"Who's he?" Ricky asked.
I pushed past him and went inside.
For the first time Conner came into my room and layed down on my bed.
"Are you going to kick his ass?"
"If he touches you."
"That's why your here?"
"Damn Skippy." He smirked.
I smiled. Jake and Trent came in.
"Guys, come on." i told my brothers.
"Boys?" Mom called.
"Yeah?" They all asked.
"Come with me to get food."
Trent bolted from the room. Jake squeezed my hand.
"I'm good. go."
Conner kissed my forehead and left.
Ashlynn walked into my room, to go into my bathroom.
"You! sit now!"
she laughed and sat on my bed.
"He's still here."
"What's he doing?"
"Talking to Blake."
"About?"
"Something about talking you into talking to him."
"What did Blake say?"
"She said, no. do it yourself."
"Good."
"Can I pee now?"
"Yeah, go for it."
Blake came in and sat on the edge of my bed, and looked at her phone.
"Oh my god."
She gave me the phone. it was from her friend.
'I just cut my left ball on my zipper it burns. D:<'
I threw my head back and laughed.
"Oh my god! Who says that?"
"I know right!" She joined my laughs.
Mom came in.
"You should talk to him."
"No. Your supposed to be on my side. you don't know what he's done to me." I said rolling over.
"Did you get food?" Blake asked.
Bless her. Distraction is always the best policy.
"Yes. Andy do you-"
"Not hungry."
"You need to eat."
"Not hungry."
"Alright. maybe later."
they left. my door opened and closed.
"Andy? i brought you some soft tacos." Conner said.
"Thank god I'm starving."
Conner sat down and gave me two.
"So what's up with this Ricky dude?"
"You'd like him."
He snorted.
"What?" I laughed.
"He obviously did something to you. I'll pass on the friendship."
That's a reason why Conner's awesome. He always has your back and is real. He'll even help you if he doesn't know you.
He tossed the trash away.
"I'm going to go have a smoke. You good?"
"Yep. I'm going to sleep."
"Alright." He patted my leg.
"here." Alice gave me a paper.
Leave it to her to bring me this.
I opened it.
' I want to hold your hand so tight i'm gonna break my wrist.'
"God. Might as well get this over with. Tell him, I'll sing along cause I don't know any other song."
Ricky came in and gave me the roses. Carefully he sat down.
"And we both go down together we'd stay there forever. just try to get up, and I'm sorry this wasn't easy, when I asked you believe me and never let go."
I stroked the petals. when I spoke It was barely a whisper.
"Well I'm thinking of the worst things I could say to you but a promise doesn't mean a thing anymore. And now your trying desperately But I'm tongue tied of what I'll say. This will never be right with me, but now your trying Desperately."
I didn't make eye contact with him.
"I've never been this scared."
I leaned back, still stroking the flowers.
"Guess this means your sorry. your standing at my door. Guess this means you take back all you said before. Said you'd never come back but here you are again."
"Cause we belong together, now. My life, would suck, without you."
"Maybe I was stupid for telling you good-bye. Maybe i was wrong for trying to pick a fight. I know that I've got issues, but your pretty messed up too. either way I found out. I'm nothing without you."
He was quite. That's what caused me too look up.
"Being with you is so dysfunctional . I really shouldn't miss you but I can't let you go." I whispered.
"How did this happen?" he whispered.
"I don't know."
"I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it."
"Everything you say, you meant it at one time. You can't ever take your words back."
"Okay your right. Let me try again. I don't know what I was thinking. I was stupid."
"I went to piss you off. I don't like to be controlled. He controlled my life. I have to feel free. I was walking on egg shells around him. One wrong move I'd get smacked."
"Tell me more."
"No."
"No? Why not?"
"We got into a fight. When ever I get into a fight with someone I stop telling them things."
"Come on Ana. It's me."
"You mean the Me who hurt me?" i asked, cocking my head.
"Right." he sighed.
"I miss you." he said.
I looked away.
"Look at me. Say something."
I wiped a tear away.
"Ana-"
"Stay where you are." I said, holding my hands up.
He backed up.
I let out a deep breath and looked at him.
"You hurt me. I knew the second I opened up, the next I would get hurt. I don't know." Words failed me, "How to get over this."
"We can take it slow."
"I don't want to take it slow, in fact I never want to see you again. but I need you." I shook my head.
Ricky stood on his knees and put his hands on either sides of my head. He bent down and kissed me. I set the roses down, and let my hands traveled along his jaw, then they tangled into his hair. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, and kissed me slowly.
"I love you." I told him.
"I love you Ana." He smiled down at me. "Can I ask you something?"
"What?"
"who was the guy?"
I looked away from him. "My Dad." I whispered.
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Publication Date: 10-13-2012

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