Life in Death by Patrick Moran (best smutty novels TXT) 📕

1
He came to in a small room. The darkness was completely
consuming, as though he had been swallowed into the belly of
some horrid beast. He stood up, and shuddered as he realized his body was bare. The concrete floor was slimy and the cold nipped at his small feet. He waited a moment, completely baffled as to where he was or what was going on. Suddenly a searing pain exploded inside his head, and he fell to the grimy, concrete floor, screaming in pain. He lay there for a long stretch of time, there was no way of telling exactly how long. Finally, the pain resided, and he got back up, took a few deep breaths, and felt around for a way out.
It didn’t take him long to find the wall; the room wasn’t very big. The wall was just like the floor, slimy and wet. He slid his hands along the wall until he came upon a knob. He turned the knob, and pressed against the door, which opened easily. He pushed it open, and it opened with ease. The sudden exposure to light was overwhelming, and he turned back to the room, which had vanished. His eyes adjusting, John saw that he was on a beach. The waves were crashing on the coral reef far off the shore, about 200 yards, and rolling all the way to where John was standing.
“Hello John” came a voice from behind him
He whirled around, and saw nothing.
“ This is too weird” John thought.
“John, were not done talking” the voice said, this time coming from beneath him. He looked down again, and there was a huge hermit crab right between his feet. He bent down and picked it up, examining it from a distance.
“Who are you?”
“A hermit crab, what does it look like?”
“What’s all this?” John asked the hermit crab.
“Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but you’re dead, John”
“How am I dead? Something’s obviously wrong with all this, but there’s no way I’m dead!”
“You know that searing pain in your head you just experienced a few moments ago?”
“Yeah”
“That was still there from when you came over from the ‘other’ side”
“Other side?”
“You know, the living side”
“The living side? What does that mean?”
“Uh, lets see, you were living on the other side, and now you’re dead, on this side.”
“I’m not dead! And what does that have to do with the pain in my head?”
“Well what were you doing before you woke up in the airport?”
“I haven’t been in an airport in years!”
“No, the room you were in is called the airport”
“Why?”
“It’s the transition room, everybody goes there when they cross over, you know, when you-“
“Yeah, when I die. I get it”
“So you admit it”
“I’m not admitting anything to a hermit crab. This is all a dream. I shouldn’t have taken that extra ambien”
“Whatever you say” the crab said, jumping from his hands and splashing into the shallow water.
“I’ll see you later John,” The crab said, walking along the white sandy bottom heading into deeper waters
“What do you mean?”
“Oh…my…god” The crab whirled around, “Why is it so hard for you to understand what I say? You were a smart guy on the other side, what’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with me? Oh, Gee, I don’t know, maybe the fact that I woke up and opened an invisible door and a hermit crab is talking to me, and now it wants to leave me!”
“I’m hungry, what can I say?” said the hermit crab, making a gesture that resembled a shrug, then turning around and continuing it trek towards the coral reef.
“What am I supposed to do?” John yelled after the crab
A far off shout replied, “Eat, swim, sleep, I dunno. It’s a beach, be happy!”
John shook his head, and looked back down at his feet, which reminded him that he was naked.
“I should start by finding some clothes” John thought.

Publication Date: 11-23-2009

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