In the Depths of Darkness by Léla Wilson-Newlon (love letters to the dead .TXT) 📕

In the depths of my darkness I don't know what to do. I never knew what to do. How was I suppose to? As I look at myself in the mirror, pale skin, black hair, and brown eyes I think to myself how can someone as less average as me possibly be able expected to survive in this world.  " Nettie," hear my mother call. Well I guess that about sums it up, huh? I'm just suppose to go down stairs. 

      I hurry and put my hair in a bun and sigh again at the sight of myself. What am I going to do in this new life? Heading downstairs to the kitchen I see my mother, well adoptive mother, but still my mother all the same. She's an beautiful African American lady with long curly hair that she proudly always wear down. She's also very strong that goes mentally too which is very exhausting sometimes because it means she stubborn,but I still love my mother always. Can't say the same for my father, though. He ran out as soon as I was adopted saying he wouldn't take care of the slave master's children. My momma said he wasn't any good anyway. 

    " Are you ready for school yet, Netty. I mean it only starts in two weeks and you still haven't been out the house, making any friends." She rolled her eyes at me. It's not my fault I'm a little shy. We've just moved to New Orleans from Missouri and frankly I'm scared of all the stories I have been told about. We moved here because my mother was born here and she wants me to grow up around the family I haven't seen in years. Supposedly its to help with the feeling that I'm not really her family because of color. I know my mom is my mother she did raise and love me and continues to do so.      

     " In fact I'll go look around today, but if I have a organ stolen by the time I get back its totally on you ma." I wiggled my eyebrows playfully. She laughed and threw a towel at me. " Girl, would you just get out my house?"  I dodged the towel and open the door going out saying, "I'm going. I'm going." 

      Every place was either a voodoo shop or a bar. So at least there is a variety, right?  Also many street performances of different kinds. It's actually quite fascinating to watch and I wish I could do some of the things they do. I kept looking around and finding that I actually love this place. It gives off the majestically,seducing feeling. At the end of of the block was a little coffee shop I had money to spare so I went in. It wasn't much,but the place was cozy. It was set up like a old fashioned diner. I sat down and looked at the menu. Well there wasn't much of a choice, but I never tried any of the drinks or desserts on here so it was enough. 

     "Welcome, what can I get you?" Startled I knocked the salt shaker from the table and unto the waiter who had spoken.  " I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz. Again I'm so sorry." I was basically pleading for my life here. Already I'm embarrassing myself. " Hey, hey, " his deep voice chuckled. " It's okay. I don't even know why this place needs salt anyways. I'm Rex."  

       "Haha, I'm Annettenet, but I go by Nettie."  " Nettie, huh? I'm not sure I like that name. How about Netsy? Yeah, I'll call you that. And seeing there not many places to go here, I'm sure you'll be seeing me a lot. Anyways, your order?" Bold, leaving me definitely baffled, I struggled to remember what I wanted. 

  " I'll have a two raspberry scones with almond tea to go, please. "

       "Alrighty then. I'll just take Big Jeffie's tea then since its done already and I can't stand him so, yeah." Well, I'm already a thief now too, I guess? 

      He came back with a small box that had a picture of some lady on a rock in the middle of the sea, and my tea. I left to go back home. I think that's about enough exploring for today plus I miss my harp. 

    " Back home already? It's only been 2 hours."      

     " Yeah, but I'm going to practice playing my harp for little bit" 

       I went upstairs to what me and my mom call the quiet room. Mostly because it's sound proof so she can't hear me when I'm messing around. In the middle of the room was my harp. It's was big, but most harps are. Also it was made by my dad before he left, out of an old oak tree his grandmother planted. He painted it black with carvings of  thorn vines going around it in silver. It's about the greatest thing given to me and sometimes I wonder why he didn't take it with him. 

        I sat down on my little stool beside it ,took a breath, and started to play. The song melodic and sad. It was a song that reminded of the day I asked my mom about my daddy, but not just that, it also held all my loneliness. My song called out in desperation for someone, anyone to help me. I started to cry alittle,but kept on playing. As I played I got tired of it all. And my song was coming to an end. With one final pluck I layed my head against my harp and held it tight. It was my only escape to a different world.

Text: Léla Wilson
Editing: Bookrix and Lèla Wilson
Publication Date: 08-08-2015

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
I dedicate this book to all fangirls in the world let me just say stay crazy.