Black Words by Blaide Frostivia (books to read in your 20s .TXT) 📕

The buzzing in my chest grew in its vibration, I had no choice but to hide underneath my blanket. Everytime something bad happens in the family, I get this buzzing in my chest and then my head starts spinning and it gets hard to breath until it hurts. But only few knew about this though, so when I heard that my pop-pop, got into a car accident and had been hospitalized. My attack started, but the reason I was hiding underneath my covers. Was because I had overheard them and I don’t think I was supposed to hear that, especially since my mother knew about my attacks. She even said that the next time I have another attack, she was going to cut me off from all family and friends. Until the doctor figured out how to stop this from reaccuring. I tried breathing in and out slowly, calming myself sometimes worked pretty well. Although this time it didn’t work,but thats because I was really close to my pop-pop and he was the only one who would help me out when I was feeling ill or had an attack. I leaned my face against the window the coolness from the outside giving me comfort, in the big room my family had given to me. But even though it was filled with toys all across the oak wooden floor and books piled so high on top of bookshelves that it almost cover the Ivy green walls. It still felt so lonely, it’s not like anybody really came too play with me and I’m sick. So I barely go too school and when I do there is never really anybody too talk too since I had been gone half the year. I felt as if I were going to cry, but in my condition that would only make it worse and then I’d really stop breathing. As if the sky could hear what was going on in my head, it began to cry for me and washed every thing outside into enurmous shower storm. I smiled up at the sky, atleast nature was still my friend even though I couldn’t go out to enjoy it. Bang, Bang, a startling knock came at my door. “Honey are you asleep?” I could hear my mother call from the otherside of the door. I slide out of bed and tried to stabilize myself as much as I could until I could reach the door knob, opening the door I tried to catch my breathing too make it seem I was fine. “Are you ok,sweetie?” I nod my head as I open the door to let her in, my mom had decided that even though I was practically bedridden. She would still give me the privacy of a normal teen, that is unless I didn’t answer and she got worried. “Hows pop-pop?” I gasped the words out my mouth, there was no way I’d be able to hide my attack. The room began to spin and I wobbled to the floor, I would’ve crashed if my mom hadn’t caught me. “I see you’ve already heard.” She sighed and helped me to my bed. She sat down at the side of my bed,causing the huge face of angry red bird to stretch against the purple background of the blanket. Her eye’s which were usaully baby blue and so full of life, now seemed so dark. Almost dead and completely distant. “ You probably don’t want to hear what happened after words.” She shifted on the ned uncomfortably. “Tell me,mother.” Her gently wrapped around me, as she rocked me side to side. “Your pop-pop is dead.” I could feel hot tears drip through my rainbow woolen long sleeve blouse, my attack grew worse as I realized that he was actaully gone and there was no getting him back. The softened and everything became adubile too me, as if everybody was in my room sitting around me. I could here my mother as she hiccup while she cried and downstairs I could hear all the family members crying, even though I couldn’t here them before. The room began to spin at a very fast pace, untl I had to lay back. But as soon as I laid back, I couldn’t breath at all. I gasped for air but there was none, tears started to flow from my eye’s which maid it worse. It felt like the world was closing in on me, the buzzing in my chest seemed to run straight up to my head and I felt as if I would burst any moment now. Mother must have realized my breathing pattern and mt heart rate, because she finally got off of me. “Honey are you alright? Angel?Angel!?” I couldn’t respond as my mother began to shake me like a mad man, her brain wasn’t fuctioning properly and I could only guess what was going through her head right now. Her own father just died and now her only child is having the worst attack she’s ever had, she was probably about to become an insane person right now. My father and cousin must of heard her yelling my name, because the next moment I knew they were at my door huffing and puffing. I don’t know what happened after that because everything went black afterwards.

The beeping from the heart monitor was completely steady, I remember this sound so well thinks too my being here so often. I opened my eye’s and looked to my right, I got it right. I was back in the hospital, the IV pack connected too my arm felt so uncomfortable and just added on too my misery.But that wasn’t all, the eggshell tile cieling and greenish blue wall. The blue curtains and the dreamy clould looking floor, just brought back the worst memories ever. I looked up at th IV pack and counted the droplets that slowly fell into the little tube connected to my arm. I’d gotten to 133, before I was disturbed by a nurse carrying a tray full of pills and a dinner that I had missed due my crazy attack. “It seems your awake and your heart is back to normal, hows your breathing? Are you breathing ok?” I nod my head. I hated talking to theses nurse that put on a fake smile, now don’t get me wrong. Not every nurse is this way, some really do care about their paitents. It’s just this one specific nurse is as fake as hell being a paradise and thorns being the safest thing to give to a kid. Anyway back to the situation at hand, she stared at me with her lifeless brown eye’s. I dared not open my mouth, I knew exactly how long through our coversation it would take for me to spit fire and that would just cause me a slight attack. In which I think I could handle after the one I just had earlier today. “I’m glad your feeling better, please eat the meal provided too you and take the meds after you’ve finished.” She sat the tray down on the patient table, moving it closure too me so that I could reach and then lowered it. But this jerk lowers it all the way until she squeezes my legs, enough for me too make a scream that could kill. Another nurse came running in seeing the sitaution, he shooed her out and fixed the table just right. I remembered this nurses name, Jason, he was always saving me from the things that chic did to me. In fact if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have a pair of legs right now. “I’m sorry about that,again, Angel. I don’t know why she holds such a grudge against you.” It’s because your too kind to a teenage patient and her little behind is getting jealous over burnt goods. The truth is that she didn’t know that this nurse, already had a wife and 4 kids. So she’s always flirting with him, but he never pays her any mind. Although when I’m not feeling too well, he’s always there looking out for me and now he just saved my life. ‘It’s okay Jason, any way hows the kids and your wife.” It was not okay, but I couldn’t worry him even more. He had to much respnsiblity as it is, I’m not the only patient he looks out for. And besides I loved to talk about his family, he always seemed to brighten up when he talked about them. “My wife just went in labour yesterday,so will be having the fifth kid soon. The boys are getting big really fast,Mikey just joined little leagues, Jonathan is taking up cooking and Robert is trying too become a doctor instead of a nurse like his father.Have you ever heard of a 8 year old studying to become a doctor, so that he can do better than his own father.Oh,Wendy is becoming a diva and is starting to get interested in boys,so now I’ve got to guide her in her footsteps. Before she starts dating at the age of 6.” He laughed when he thought about his 6,8,10,12 year olds slowly growing up to become such wonderful children. I couldn’t help but smile. “Alright I’ve got another call, to go handle. I’ll probably see you later on, if Josie tries to kill you again."I nod my head, so her name was Josie. Hmph, Josie is super nosie. I laughed to myself, that actaully made a lot of since."Good luck on the baby!” He smiled and left the room, closing the curtain behind him.My stomache growls and I realize that I’m finally hungry now. I stare st the dinner I’m given, because its so late. I was given a sandwich from subway,apple slices,crackers and a couple of apples juices that looked like jell-o.I didn’t want any of this, I wanted my mother’s good home style cooking. My stomache growled again this time louder, I blushed and quickly listened in to see if any body heard that. Satisfied with nothing but silence, I release a sigh of relief and open the food I’m given which was neatly packed in a plastic container. I guess it’s true when they say beggers can’t be choosy, in this case hungry people can’t be picky.The sandwhich was tuna,which I hated. The apples were about to go bad and the only thing that was good was the crackers and juice. Although I had to ask for a couple of cups of water, because the sugar from the juice made me extremely thirsty. But in the end I was completely full or atleast satisfied enough, to get some sleep to night. My body felt as if it was going to sink through the bed, the food made my body so heavy and sleepy. My eye lids probably wouldn’t have lasted another second, no matter how hard I tried. So I let sleep take me over and drift me into the sea dreams.

I could hear the never ending checkered tiled floor under my feet clip clop, clouds made up for never ending walls and ceiling. I felt so free here, yet I also felt so bound at the same time. It felt like the checkered tile floor and cloud walls would never end until I reached a golden door.In which was the same thing except there was a little boy with short messy black hair and pale white skin. Writng at a wooden desk, I could barely see. But it looked like his eyes were ruby red like a fantasy creature, they were so focused on what he was writing. It was almost mesmerizing to watch, even though I had no idea what was going on. He stopped writing and looked at me, I