Lord of The Dyslexics by Aidan Rosser, Luca Cottone (ebook reader online free TXT) 📕

“It’s almost ready, Mr. Slovenski.” He looked up. 

“Good. When will it be ready?” The scientist swallowed. 

“In about three to seven business days, sir.” 

“What?!?” Mr. Slovenski grabbed his collar. 

“This is completely unacceptable! If you want to keep your life, you will get this done within two hours!” The scientist blanched. 

“B-But sir, that is impossible!” he stuttered. 

“Then make it possible!” Mr. Slovenski roared.

 “I hold you responsible!!!”

“I-I-I-I-I-I… Yes sir,” he mumbled. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

He turned on his heel and walked out, leaving the scientist trembling in fear. 

Mr. Slovenski fumed as he walked into his executive office. “Those bozos are so slow!” he screamed in anger. He picked up his $275,000 bottle of Armand de Brignac Rose and hurled it in anger across the room, smashing his 9.6 million dollar royal easter egg.  He kept throwing things until his anger let up. Then, he called for a janitor to clean up the mess. While he was waiting, he glanced at the time. In thirty minutes he would have call people  to pick up his son from school.

I wonder what he is doing, he thought to himself. 

“Time to present your personal narrative, class,” Mrs. Concenssi said. 

“Brody, why don’t you go first.” He jerked his head up from where he was sleeping. 

“Huh?” he said, confused. 

“Your personal narrative,” 

“Uuuuuuuh,” he grabbed a piece of paper from his desk and walked up to the front of the classroom. He looked down at the it. It was blank. 

“Our pool put in,” he began. “By me, your super bigly, most handsomest, Brody B!!!” 

"Brody,” Mrs. Concenssi snapped.”That is no way to present a personal narrative.”

“It is when you’re the best,” Brody retorted. 

The teacher rolled her eyes as he began.

“As I told you, my name is Bru-bru-bru-Brody!!! I am the awesomest most bestest guy in the world, with the best pencil-thin mustache in the entire universe!!! I has been chugging Surge fur days, when I thought to myself, I wants me pics of meself. So I got a pool full of mountain dew, and I dranks it to the dephts of that pools. Then I took some pics of meself wearing that speedo life. I am better than all of you. Thank you!” 

He bowed and walked over to his seat. The teacher swelled in anger, her face turning beet red.

“BRODY!!!!!" she screamed. "Go to the principal's office, NOW!” 

Brody didn’t hear. He was already fell asleep. 

“Mr. Slovenski, it is ready.” the scientist said. 

“Good,” he said. 

          “Have you bought the necessary shares of Mcdonald's?” 

“Yes, sir,” he said. ‘But we don’t have control over it yet. The vote for control over Mc Donald’s happens in three hours.” 

“Good,” Mr Slovenski said. Prepare the Big Mac Veggie Plus.” 

“Yes sir,” the scientist said. He turned on his heel and walked out of the room. 

Mr. Slovenski smiled to himself. Soon, he would rule the world. 

The scientist quickly walked to his office and picked up his phone. He dialed a classified number and, when it answered, said, “This is agent OOK. The virus is almost ready. Begin project Genesis.”

In a secret Blackwater Facility, troops began readying themselves for combat while scientists began to make the Big Mac Veggie Plus.

An hour later, the Blackwater troops surrounded the Slovenski mansion, waiting for Brody to come home. 

“Brody,” the principal said. “Why are you doing this. You were disrespectful to Mrs. Concenssi and you are embarrassing yourself.

 “ Because I am the best, the very best. No adult willaint tells me what to do. I am Brody B the very best.”

The principal sighed. 

“If you keep acting like this, I will have to expel you.”

Just then, the assistant principal poked her head in. “Mr. Baldy, Brody’s chauffeurs are waiting for” “his lordship,” Brody interrupts. “His superms lordship.”

“Get this ignorant scum OUT OF HERE!!!” Mr. Baldy roared. He pointed to the door, his face turning scarlet. 

The assistant principal sighed. 

“Come on Brody,” she said.  

“That me fool. Because I am Brody B the smartest man alive.”

Mr. Baldy stood up, grabbed Brody’s shirt and dragged him out of the office. 

“NEVER COME BACK!” he yelled.

“ Piggy,” Brody squacked.

“What?” Mr. Baldy asked his voice low and dangerous

“To much junk in the trunk,” he hooted.

Mr. Baldy roared and charged at him. Brody yelped and darted down the hallway. He ran out the front door into his shouffers’ Lincoln Continental, and yelled at them to drive away. All Mr. Baldy saw was the car speeding out of the parking lot.   

“WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, CLY?!?!” He screamed after the car.

Actually, Brody was crying.

“ Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa I am… the best” He bawled the floor of the car. 

“It’ok, its ok,” one of the servants coddled. 

“You are the best to me.” 

“And me,” the other servant said. Brody quieted down, but he still sniffled from time to time. 

When they arrived home, Brody immediately went to the refrigerator and grabbed some vodka.

“ Time for some shots boy!” he yelled and lifted the bottle to his lips. Just before he drank, someone grabbed the bottle from him. Brody turned around.

“But Dad gimmi gimmi gimmi!” He whined, his voice high pitched.

“Nope,” Mr. Slovenski said. He chugged the bottle. 

“Today is a great day,” he told his son. “I have bought McDonalds!” 

“Nope I won't eat that slop you bastard.” Brody yelled.

Mr. Slovenski chucked the bottle at the floor. It smashed, sending shards of glass around the room. He grabbed Brody by the back of his shirt, carried him to his room, and threw him on the floor. 

“DON’T CALL ME A BASTARD!” Mr. Slovenski roared as he stormed out of the room. 

“ I just tell it like I see it DAD!” He scoffed.  He stayed in his room the rest of the day, until his father left the house. He then went into the kitchen, grabbed a strawberry pop tart and looked for more vodka. When he couldn’t find any he went into his room and ate the pop tart. It was very good. A couple minutes later, he walked into the living room to watch TV. He began watching Cars. After about a minute into the movie, he began to feel numb all over He looked down at his arm. His head didn’t move. He tried to bring his arm to his face. His arm didn’t move. He began to panic. His body did not respond. His breath stayed the same, his heartbeat sayed the same, and no tears fell. He did not know how much time had passed, but it felt like hours. Finally! Footsteps! His dad was home! He would be okay! When he saw who was there, he instantly knew that his father was not home. Five obese soldiers clad in tan gear ran in, raising their guns as they entered. They had goggles over their eyes and carried large guns. Two of them ran to Brody and picked him up, while the others dispersed around the house. Brody was carried out the front door and into a white Ford Festiva limo next to a Thad. He was thrown into the backseat of the limo that had a pink leopard fur on the chairs and  a strong, nasty stench. There was a doctor on board. He was in a lab coat that had a baby pea green throw up color to it. He put an iv into Brody's arm. The truck started moving. After a couple minutes, he realized he could move a couple of fingers. Then his toes, then arms, legs, and finally, his face.

“ O, thank God I’m alive! What would the world do without me, I am the best after all!” He cried with a sigh. He suddenly was angry. How dare these losers capture him. He thought to himself. 

“I'm gonna get up and show you my falcon punch!” He screamed in anger. He stood up and tumbled to the ground. He tried to get up again, but he couldn’t. His arms and legs felt like jelly.

“What did you do to my glowing, stunning bod!" He wailed. 

“Nothing, we may or may not have given you a placebo that decreases muscle mass.”

“NOT MY BOD, MY BEAUTIFUL BOD, GIVE IT BACK RIGHT NOW!!!" he screamed.

“Sucks to be you,” the doctor said smugly. 

“Ah, we are here.”

 He stood up, picked up Brody, and carried him out of the Ford Festiva. It was a dark cloudy night. There was a 5 story building about 100 feet away. The doctor put Brody down and swiped a key card. A steel door slid silently open. The doctor picked up Brody again and carried him to an elevator where he pressed the down arrow. They waited about 30 seconds. They entered the elevator. It had shaggy carpet, oak wood panels, and the smell of cigars. It was repulsive. The

scientist pressed the bottommost button and the elevator began to descend at a fast rate. One minute later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened up into a poorly lit concrete hallway. The doctor went into the first door on the left. It was a big, modern 70s themed control room, with brown couches  and screens everywhere. Mr. Slovenski stepped into Brody’s vision. He took out his phone and tapped a couple buttons. The doctor put his down. Brody suddenly realized he could use his legs.

“Hello son, have you realized why you are so buff when your arms are so skinny? Well…”