Without A Glance by N.L.Gallagher (free e reader .txt) 📕

I sat there thinking about what I’d just learned, my mind reeling in absolute surprise. I reached out with my fingers, just grazing his white tuxedo. His face was white and motionless, his eyes not even fluttering. He was gazing straight ahead; I moved out of the way as the emergency crew came and removed him from my sight.

They covered him with a sheet and I knew that I was truly alone now. I sprinted after them and asked to see him one more time and say goodbye. They smiled grimly apparently knowing that I was very close to him. I drew the sheet back and caressed his cheek lightly with my lips. The first tears of countless showered down my cheeks as I whispered to him and him only.

“I love you, daddy. I’m going to miss you so much. “Tears poured down my face more rapidly now. “ I love you. Please don’t leave me daddy, please,” I wept.

I seized his collar with a more firm hold when someone told me that it was time to go. I didn’t want to let go of him. I couldn’t let him go. He had helped make me, he played with my hair when I was sad, and he helped me with my homework. I couldn’t let him go.

As the hands hauling me away became more persistent, I twisted and threw myself in their arms, crying my heart out. My knees gave out and I only sensed the arms go up and under my legs, carrying me to the car. I curl myself into a fetal position, still weeping. I could feel a scream edifice in my chest, but I pressed it down.

As we got home I only comprehended that we were there, as we went inside I jumped from their arms and ran away, fumbling in the darkness .I ran to my parent’s room and went to my dad’s dresser to see a picture of me and him with cake frosting on our face and clothes, his eyes twinkling and his skin around his eyes creased with years of laughter. I grabbed it down and lay down on my dad’s side of the bed. The scream that was building up in my chest, increased until it was difficult to inhale and exhale.

A penetrating scream rang throughout the community. It was a scream bursting with the sound of pain and misery, a scream full of built up rage. I let it all go and no one protested because several and possibly all already knew of my father’s demise. I remained there all night, memorizing my fathers’ smile although I’ve already imprinted it in my mind. I loved my father more than anything in the world so this loss has had its toll on me. He was a survivor, survivors don’t die. I felt tears come to my eyes as I thought about him. He just couldn’t be gone yet. Not yet. I’m waiting for the truth.

. . .
I woke up in the middle of the night and decided to walk around. I put on my shoes and a jacket because as any smart person would know, it just so happens to be very cold in New York during the winter. Falling asleep after waking up already is a major no, I just can’t ever go back to sleep after waking up in the middle of the night. I locked the door and went down the stairs, taking two at a time.
I looked down one side of the street and look down the other. I chose to be different today, I went forward. I saw a couple of junkies and some homeless people and felt remorseful. I was walking to the store on the corner to grab a coke when I heard my name being called.
“Connor! Hey buddy?! Watcha doing out here?!”
“Hey, Ryan. What’s up?”
“Oh nothing. “He said as he caught up with me.” What are you doing out here?”
“Grabbing something to drink. You?”
“Oh you know the usual. I just can’t sleep.”
“Cool.” I said as we began to walk again. But it was only when I came out of the store and departed with Ryan when I felt a jolt of pain go through my chest. I howled, my pain masking someone else’s. I dropped to the ground, my howls of pain cutting off as it grew more excruciating, and my ears noticed a slight whimpering to my right. I opened my eyes dispite the effort.
What I saw next changed my life forever.
. . .
“Teddy! Hey Teddy!”
I was walking to my 7th period of the day, also my last period of the day. School just started a couple days ago and I was already so accustomed to my new schedule here at Opal Stones High School. I looked back, halfheartedly. I waved, not even caring who it was.
I felt a hand touch my shoulder; I spun around and heard the person cry out in alarm. It was Sasha, one of my best friends. I glared and turned and walked away, but she ran after me.
“Look teddy, I’m sorry about your dad, okay? I really am. But it time that you move on already. It’s been 2 years.”
I spun on her. She took a couple steps back.
“Well I’m so frickin sorry that you’re never going to be as close to your dad as I was mine. And exactly Sasha it’s already been two years without my dad. And I hate it.” I started to turn but turned back to her.” Think about it being Laina dead. Maybe then you’ll see my point of view. Sasha I’m hurting more than you can imagine. My dad is dead and I can’t do anything about it.”
I saw tears well in her eyes.” That’s not the same T. You’re not the only one hurting in the world. Maybe you should stop being so selfish and just move on.” Laina is her little sister that she loves to death.
“NO! It’s exactly the same. You just don’t get it.” I felt tears going down my face as I said the next part quietly.” You just don’t get it. By the way, my name is Teddy. Not T.”
I walked away, feeling a hundred or something eyes on me. I made my way to the head office, and towards the guidance office. As I made my way there, I saw a new kid looking at my tear stained face, I gave him my meanest stare as to say stay away from me and resumed walking. I walked into Ms. Deborah on the way into her office, scattering her papers all over the place. I squatted down to retrieve the loose papers and handed them all to her. I loved Ms. Deborah as much as I could love her. She was always there for me.
When she heard of my father’s death she was the first one over, without a cake or even ice cream (which I find disgusting), only kind encouraging words to help me along me miserable way. If she would have never of came to me, I probably would have committed suicide. But when I told her this she just says ‘well thank the lord you’re still a living breathin’ girl’ then I would smile because of how she talks sometimes. She is like a floating life line that keeps me going and the good thing is she’s 24 so she won’t be leaving me anytime soon.
But then again, neither would have my dad.
. . .
I soon as I saw her, I could tell she had some serious damage to her, but I never expected to see her look at me and give me such a violent glare. I watch her turn away and look forward again. She walked into some lady and gave her a kind, beautiful smile. It seems that when she smiles her whole face lights up and you can tell she doesn’t do it often. Her smile is tentative.
Her pain is probably from some boyfriend trouble no doubt. Seems like she would have a pile of boys lined at her feet. But her face is etched with pain. Her eyes are a sort of ice-blue and her hair is black and pulled into a bun. She has no earrings, bracelets, or make up. But she doesn’t need it. She may look like she woke up like that, but she pulls it off.
As soon the lady at the front desk got done with all her typing and printed my schedule, I walked towards the guidance office to see the girl smiling with her feet pulled to her chest which she could do because she was about 5’6. She didn’t seem to see me so I looked back at her one more time before I continued walking. I tried to catch her eye but she didn’t seem to even notice my 5’10 state. Okay, okay. So I am a bit short for my age, so. Girls seem to love me all the same.
I walked to my first period and opened the door to a guy on the other side; he brushed by me quickly, bumping my shoulder. I walked in and suddenly knew I was in the wrong class. This was the juniors’ class. I was supposed to be in the sophomore class. The teacher lady looked at me sharply and said to me just as sharp.
“What?”
“I’m sorry. It seems to me I’ve interrupted your class. I mean no disrespect, Ms…?”
“You will address me as Ms. Garland.”
“Ah. A beautiful name to match a beautiful woman.” I smiled my most charming smile and heard some girls sigh in admiration. The guys looked like they wanted me to teach them a couple swings on this little boat called flattery.
She smiled.
“Your seat is right here by my desk, Mr. Lewis.” Her smile now turned evil.” I hope you enjoy your class for the rest of our 5 minutes.”
Next thing I knew I was being bombarded by girls asking for my number. I ran out of class and headed to my car. I was so ready to go home now. A couple of minutes at this school will kill me. Can you imagine a whole year? I’ll be a half me. Back in New York we never had to go through torture like this. At least there I know people and I’m not as appreciated there as I am here.
My dad had to move to a different spot because of his acceptance of the promotion that he’s been striving for and they just so happened to say this small little town in the middle of nowhere called Opal Stones. So the next day we are gone. He was offered a home inside of town. It was a two story with a light tan color covering the entire house, except for the window pane, which was brown. The rooms consisted of the usual attire. A bed, dresser, a T.V.,