Tired of Death by Neil Hartley (ereader that reads to you txt) 📕

to the Central chambers! Hahahahaha!” He slapped at his leg in mirth. “That's right! You just handed over the only way in to the treasure. How smart do you look now?”
“I see.” Dreth drew his black sword slowly. “Then you should give it back.”
“Come get it!” Oscar raised his giant blade, beckoning with one hand.
The human ran at him, and Oscar swung high, bringing his weapon around in a powerful sweep. The undead guardian brought his blade up and blocked it with a screech of metal on metal. Sparks flew as both stepped back. The king was surprised. The human was stronger than he looked. Never mind! He smiled and thrust forward suddenly, moving far faster than he had before. The sword caught Dreth in the middle of the chest, penetrating his flesh and protruding out of his back.
Oscar grinned widely as the human looked down at the weapon embedded in his body. His grin faded as Dreth looked up again, his face set in an expression of anger.
“You will pay for that.” Slowly the human pushed forward, up the king's sword, the blade sliding through his body, pushing further and further out of his back as he made his way closer to the hilt.
Oscar stepped back, but this merely pulled Dreth closer to him. He looked into the guardian's black eyes, and for the first time in his life knew fear.
“My turn,” whispered Dreth.
The cold kiss of metal entered the kings' abdomen, sliding through his organs with a burning, yet icy, touch. Oscar opened his mouth, but no sound emerged. The heat in his body seemed to be sucked away, drawn into the black sword.
The last thing he knew was the sound of laughter. “Awake!” Came a voice inside his head, “awake at last!”


~ * ~


Dreth pulled at the sword, trying to free it from the body of the dead King. It moved slowly, as if resisting his efforts. Keenly aware of an urgent need to not be there, he pulled harder, finally succeeding in wrenching the blade out of the corpse with a wet sucking sound.
The weapon dripped with green Orc blood, but under that it seemed to throb with dark power. A low moan emanated from it. “Bllllooood,” it said, black energy crackling up its length. “Feeeed meee.”
Dreth had no time to wonder at this sudden awakening. Quickly grabbing the box, he turned around to face the others. The king's sword was still sticking out of his body, front and back, but he didn't have time to remove it just now.
“I don't wish to rush you, but half an army of ogres are after that thing,” said Cuthbert, indicating the rune-box.
“Let's get out of here then,” said Dreth. He started heading towards the way they had come in, only to stop as a giant figure stepped into the cavern.
Red eyes scanned the crowd, finally settling on him.
The enormous stone Golem stepped forward, batting away an Orc who was too slow or foolish to get out of its path. “Dreth, Guardian of the Undead Way. The Management has sent me. You are charged with deserting your post.”
“Oh futtocks,” said Percy. “That's a Guardian Golem. They’re practically indestructible! We’re screwed.”
The Golem stepped forward, massive arms reaching out for them.
Dreth stepped away and raised his sword, which seemed to be trying to pull him forward. This monster was not something to be trifled with though. He risked a quick look around. Behind him came the sound of battle, as ogres and Orcs fought for dominance. Another exit to one side was crowded with Orcs trying to get away, and the only other way out was behind the Golem.
“This is going to be tricky,” he said. “Look,” he said, stepping backwards and pulling the dead king's sword out of his body at the same time, “let's see if we can't come to some sort of arrangement hey? I mean, surely we’re all on the same side, right?”
“Not really,” replied the Golem, advancing. “Don't get me wrong, it's nothing personal, but I have my orders. You must be made an example of.” It lunged forward.
Dreth skipped back and brought his sword up to block the blow. The blade met the fist with a loud clang.
“Aaarrrgg!” said the weapon, “that hurt!”
The Golem smiled a stony grin. “Magic swords don't scare me little man. Now, stand still and take your punishment like a guardian.”
“Not bloody likely!” said Dreth, and dodged to one side to avoid another swing. “Wizard, cast some sort of spell! Stop him!”
Redthorne, who had retreated to a safer distance, scratched his head. “Tough one, these Golem types are usually fairly proof against magic. Still, give me a minute and I’ll see what I have.” He made a gesture and a large book appeared in his hand, which he started leafing through.
“I don't have a minute you useless... urg!” Dreth tumbled across the floor as the huge fist managed to finally connect. The runebox went flying.
“E... F... G... Gas... Giants... Gnomes... no, not that, Gold... mmm, thought I’d lost that spell.” Redthorne thumbed through his book muttering to himself.
Dreth picked himself up, then quickly dived to one side to avoid being squashed by the Golem's foot. “Read faster blast you!” he shouted, performing a series of really quite amazing maneuvers, trying to stay out of the creatures’ reach.
Sprat, meanwhile, had picked up the runebox. The little zombie looked at the marauding animation, and then at the seething mass of Orcs and ogres, still fighting in the main entrance. He waddled up to the mage, who was mumbling under his breath, and tapped him on the leg.
Redthorne looked down, placing a finger on the page so he wouldn't lose his place. “What?” he asked.
The small zombie pointed at the box and said something to wizard.
Dreth jumped onto the dead king's throne, and then did a somersault over the back of it. Percy and Cuthbert applauded and shouted encouragement.
“I hope you’re not distracting Mr. Wizard, you short assemblage of spare parts!” he shouted, ducking. The Golem's fist smashed into the wall next to him, dislodging rock and leaving a large crater.
Dreth just about managed to get a glimpse of Redthorne casting some sort of quick spell before he was hit again. He was sent flying through the air to land at the feet of Cuthbert and Percy, who were standing out of the way and watching the action.
“Good one boss!” said Percy.
“Nearly had him there!” said Cuthbert, giving a thumbs up sign.
“Don't put yourselves out or anything,” said Dreth, staggering to his feet. “I think I’ve broken a rib.” He looked around just in time to see the Golem throw the throne at him.
“Let's get out of here!” shouted Percy, as the chair smashed into the cavern floor beside them, exploding in a mass of stone shrapnel.
“What's Sprat up to?” asked Cuthbert, lurching away at speed as the giant creature approached.
Dreth spared a quick glance at the small undead as he jogged in a wide circle around the cave. The zombie had the runebox in his hand and was walking with a determined gait up to the Golem. As he watched, the little zombie took aim and threw the box at the Stone Guardian. It hit and stuck to its leg. The Golem took no notice, intent on pursuing its prey.
Dreth looked wildly from side to side. The ogres were pushing forward, having nearly overwhelmed the Orcs, and the other entrance was still crowded with refugees from the fight. He skipped left, but the Golem darted forward, cutting him off and trapping him in a corner.
“Look, you don't have to do this, really,” said Dreth. “Throw off the shackles of oppression brother! Rise up and fight the overlords!” He raised his fist in a salute, in a desperate attempt at false camaraderie.
“But I like my job,” said the Golem, closing in. “It is annoying being summoned from the Sleep sometimes, but the hours are good, and you get to see places and meet interesting people. If only briefly.”
“I don't suppose you would take a bribe?” Dreth asked, scraping the bottom of the 'options' barrel. His back was now against the wall, in several senses.
The guardian shook its head as he loomed closer, towering above the half-dead. He raised a fist. “Time to be very, very sorry,” it said.
Dreth closed his eyes. There was a slight pause followed by an enormous crash, then silence. His head remained unflattened. He opened his eyes again.
Where the Golem had been standing was a large pile of ceiling.
“Couldn't find Golem,” shouted Redthorne from the other side of the cavern, “this was the best I could come up with.”
Dreth eyed the pile of rock. It moved slightly.
“I wouldn't hang about it I was you,” said Cuthbert. “That won't hold it for long.” Even as he spoke an arm broke through the rubble, dislodging several large boulders.
Dreth skipped past and retrieved his black sword from the floor where he’d dropped it. Just as he did so the first of the ogres, a huge dirty white creature wielding a studded club and wearing a battered helmet, broke through the Orc lines and stepped into the cavern. Several, more normal sized creatures, followed closely behind.
The giant ogre saw Dreth and squinted at him. “Fee fi fo fum,” it said in a deep bass voice. “I smell the blood of a... zombie.”
Several of the following ogres shook their heads.
“Nearly had it that time sir!” said one. The giant swung his club idly and knocked the speaker flying.
“Be he 'live, or be he dead,” he continued, walking slowly towards Dreth and company. “I'll grind his bones to make my... porridge.”
The other ogres groaned.
Dreth started to reverse, but the sound of sliding rock made him stop and turn. Behind him the Golem rose from the rubble like a vengeful mountain. Red eyes glared at him, piercing the dust like demonic searchlights.
“Oh poop,” said Percy.
“Look!” shouted Dreth, pointing at the Golem. “It has your box! Get it quick!” He dived out of the way as the big ogre roared with anger and charged, club held high. The rest of his force raced after him.
Dreth winced as the two sides met with a massive crash. “Let's not wait and see how this turns out,” he said.
They ran around the edge of the cave, ducking once as an ogre flew out of the melee over their heads, to smash into the floor beyond and lay still.
“Do you think they will stop it?” asked Redthorne.
Percy shook his head. “They will delay him, but ogres don't have anything strong enough to beat a Guardian Golem,” he said. “You can't kill them unless you find their heart, or break the body