If: A Play in Four Acts by Lord Dunsany (novel books to read .TXT) π
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- Author: Lord Dunsany
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ARCHIE BEAL
Why not one like her?
JOHN BEAL
I tell youβshe's aβwell, a kind of goddess. You couldn't ask her if she loved you. It would be such, such...
ARCHIE BEAL
Such what?
JOHN BEAL
Such infernal cheek.
ARCHIE BEAL
I see. Well, I see you aren't in love with her. But it seems to me you'll be seeing a good deal of her some day if we pull this off. And then, my boy-o, you'll be going and getting in love with her.
JOHN BEAL
I tell you I daren't. I'd as soon propose to the Queen of Sheba.
ARCHIE BEAL
Well, Johnny, I'm going to protect you from her all I can.
JOHN BEAL
Protect me from her? Why?
ARCHIE BEAL
Why, because there's lots of other girls and it seems to me you might be happier with some of them.
JOHN BEAL
But you haven't even seen her.
ARCHIE BEAL
Nor I have. Still, if I'm here to protect you I somehow think I will. And if I'm not ...
JOHN BEAL
Well, and what then?
ARCHIE BEAL
What nonsense I'm talking. Fate does everything. I can't protect you.
JOHN BEAL
Yes, it's nonsense all right, ARCHIE, but...
HUSSEIN [off]
I am here.
JOHN BEAL
Be seen.
[HUSSEIN enters. He is not unlike Bluebeard.]
JOHN BEAL [pointing to ARCHIE] My brother.
[ARCHIE shakes hands with HUSSEIN. HUSSEIN looks at his hand when it is over in a puzzled way. JOHN BEAL and Hussein then bow to each other.]
HUSSEIN
You desired my presence.
JOHN BEAL
I am honoured.
HUSSEIN
And I.
JOHN BEAL
The white traveller, whom we call Hinnard, lent you one thousand greater gold pieces, which in our money is one hundred thousand pounds, as you acknowledge. [Hussein nods his head.] And every year you were to pay him for this two hundred and fifty of your greater gold piecesβas you acknowledge also.
HUSSEIN
Even so.
JOHN BEAL
And this you have not yet had chance to pay, but owe it still.
HUSSEIN
I do.
JOHN BEAL
And now Hinnard is dead.
HUSSEIN
Peace be with him.
JOHN BEAL
His heiress is Miss Miralda Clement, who instructs me to be her agent. What have you to say?
HUSSEIN
Peace be with Hinnard.
JOHN BEAL
You acknowledge your debt to this lady, Miss Miralda Clement?
HUSSEIN
I know her not.
JOHN BEAL
You will not pay your debt?
HUSSEIN
I will pay.
JOHN BEAL
If you bring the gold to my tent, my brother will take it to Miss Clement.
HUSSEIN
I do not pay to Miss Clement.
JOHN BEAL
To whom do you pay?
HUSSEIN
I pay to Hinnard.
JOHN BEAL
Hinnard is dead.
HUSSEIN
I pay to Hinnard.
JOHN BEAL
How will you pay to Hinnard?
HUSSEIN
If he be buried in the sea...
JOHN BEAL
He is not buried at sea.
HUSSEIN
If he be buried by any river I go to the god of rivers.
JOHN BEAL
He is buried on land near no river.
HUSSEIN
Therefore I will go to a bronze god of earth, very holy, having the soil in his care and the things of earth. I will take unto him the greater pieces of gold due up to the year when the white traveller died, and will melt them in fire at his feet by night on the mountains, saying, "O, Lruru-onn (this is his name) take this by the way of earth to the grave of Hinnard." And so I shall be free of my debt before all gods.
JOHN BEAL
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