Fairy Tail: Dawn of Change by Melissa Nichols (books to read for self improvement txt) 📕

"Actually, yeah. Almost exactly like that." Gray grinned at her briefly. "Everyone's got a base amount of magic energy they start out with—some more than others—but it's linked to how much physical energy you have too. Probably because your body has to support the magic you're channeling. So while training your body increases your physical strength, practicing magic will slowly increase the capacity you have for magic, and how much you produce." He looked at her seriously. "But while you can increase your capacity for magic, it's more important to work on your discipline and visualization first, so you don't hurt yourself or anyone else while training. Any more questions?"

Roxanne thought hard about everything Gray had said, and finally shook her head.

"Okay." Gray observed her for a moment longer, making sure the trembles were gone. "Let's put what we just learned into practice. Just do what I do, but don't actually cast the spell, okay?" Just channeling magic energy was a little tiring, but as long as she didn't actually cast the spell, the energy should be reabsorbed with minimal loss, so it was mostly a matter of mental exercise.

"Yes!" Roxanne jumped to her feet as Gray also rose. "Oh, um…" Her enthusiasm waned a little. "You said it wouldn't be safe for me to use magic because I was too tired. What would have happened?"

"Well," Gray said seriously, stretching until his back popped, "when a mage doesn't have enough energy to complete the spell, usually the spell fizzles and the mage loses what energy they had and that's that. But if it's a really powerful spell, then the spell actually consumes every bit of energy the mage had, and the mage dies."

"Oh." Roxanne's eyes went wide. "Okay. I won't use magic unless you say it's okay." A deep breath, chin lifting in determination. "So, um, what do I do now?"

Gray nodded, getting back to the topic he wanted to cover. He hadn't wanted to scare her, but making her understand how serious it was… well, it was important. "We'll do this step by step, okay? Step one is to clear your mind, the way you do for meditation." Maybe meditation itself wasn't his thing, but this step was important. Roxanne nodded, and closed her eyes as they both fell silent, letting their minds go quiet and still, until only sensation remained. Then she opened her eyes again, so she could focus on Gray. He was watching her, as though he'd never had to close his eyes.

"Step two: Picture your goal. In this case, producing a pile of snowballs like I did earlier. Don't just imagine it visually; think of what you want it to do, to be. Think of how it’ll feel, how big it should be. A shield is strong, but snowballs are firm and crunchy. And almost white-hot cold."

Roxanne did so, dismissing even sensation from her mind, and focusing on a little pyramid of snowballs, round and cold and sparkling white and the perfect size for throwing in her little hands.

"Step three: Feel your magic energy floating in your body, or in your magic container." The solemn tone of Gray's voice wavered a little. "Whichever. Just make sure you feel it. Do you need help figuring it out?"

Roxanne shook her head, pretty sure that she already knew how to access the energy. She quickly located her soul, like she had yesterday. But instead of touching it right away, worried about her hands or feet getting covered in ice, she built up a picture first. Magic, especially Ice Make, depended on visuals, right?  So she imagined a faucet, turned off so none of the water would drip out and be wasted. As she touched her soul, she imagined the faucet turning on just a bit, letting a trickle of energy out.

It worked. She could feel her magic energy flow through her body, but slowly, and none of it escaped her skin.

When she was ready, she opened her eyes and looked at Gray.

"Step four: Mold your energy into the object you want, and basically tell the magic what you want it to do. You and I do this by using our hands." Gray demonstrated, moving slowly and narrating his actions as he did so. "Make a fist with one hand and leave your other hand open but spread your fingers. Now touch the bottom of your fist to your open palm and move both to your dominant side, whichever side feels more natural to you, and bend the elbow." A brief smile. "Think of your elbow like a kink in a hose, holding back the magic. At the same time, keep the image of that pile of snowballs in your mind and push your  energy towards the image. Then hold it there, keeping the energy from going anywhere until you're ready."

As soon as he mentioned using their hands, Roxanne knew exactly what to do. She didn't even think about it—she'd practiced quite often when she was on Earth, when she'd fantasized about being an Ice Make mage. As she built up her magic energy, she could see the magic circle forming around her hands. She was captivated by its beautiful color, a light but brilliant blue like her soul and her guild stamp.

"Step five: Make the gestures that define the spell." Gray took a breath, and then moved his hands in a flurry of patterns.

Roxanne's eyes went wide. She couldn't even follow all of the gestures, so how could he expect her to copy him?

"Heh. Sorry." Gray repeated the gestures, more slowly this time, step by step as Roxanne clumsily imitated him.

"This is where you stop copying me," Gray said. "Step Six: Recite the incantation, and let the magic fly. When you do, throw your arm forward to unkink the hose." he concluded. "Ice Make: Snowballs!" A second later, there was a pile of snowballs replacing the ones Roxanne had thrown earlier, which had long since melted away.

Roxanne squeaked in excitement and clapped her hands, eyes shining as she bounced in place.

Gray smiled at her. She'd lost her grip on the magic energy she'd built up, but her distraction had prevented her from casting the magic anyway, so it hadn't been wasted. "Alright, let's try that again. Remember, don't actually release your magic when I do, okay?"

Roxanne nodded, smiling excitedly. She took a moment to get hold of herself, and shifted position to stand next to Gray, rather than across from him. As Gray demonstrated a second time, she copied him, reciting the steps aloud along with him. Again, she didn't actually cast the spell, because Gray had told her not to, but oh how she wanted to.

After the third round, Gray sat down on the grass and watched Roxanne practice on her own, checking his watch periodically. He was proud of her. She'd accomplished a lot today, and she took the worst news of the day like a champ, once the crying was done. Not only that, but she was doing dry runs of spell-casting, just calling forth the magic and letting it fall back into her soul without using it at all, which had to be hard for her. . He'd done his best to explain why she wasn't allowed to cast a spell today, and she'd seemed to understand, but he just had to hope that her belief that he knew best would continue to overcome her desire to cast her first spell.

When the chapel's bell tolled out the noon-time hour, Gray told Roxanne that it was time for them take a break. She sighed in relief. She had loved practicing calling on her magic, but she was bone-tired, her muscles ached, and her head thumped from concentrating so hard.

It's break-time now, and Gray already knows I'm tired… she thought as she relaxed and turned towards him. …maybe it's okay to let it show? It was instinct, habit, to pretend to be okay no matter what, but this was Gray. He was her teacher. Pretending, when she knew he already knew how tired she was felt kind of… not wrong, not silly, but somewhere in between, maybe?

Unnecessary.

Roxanne let out a breath, eyelids drooping and shoulders slumping. It was a relief to stop pretending, to stop fighting the exhaustion dragging at her limbs.

Gray frowned at the sudden transformation overtaking his student. He'd known she was tired, but he hadn't thought she'd still be hiding it from him, not after he'd already shown her he knew it and forbidden her from using magic because of it. Dammit, I thought maybe practicing a spell without casting it would let her recover some, but it doesn't look like it helped much. He needed to rework his plans for the afternoon again. Would a nap help? Is she too old for naps? I don't think Romeo takes them anymore, and she's older than he is… One thing was for sure, though. He couldn't just teach her magic theory for the next hour and a half, not if he wanted her to remember it. She might brag that she had a good memory, but if she was this tired there was no way she'd retain it.

"Gray?" Roxanne reached out to grab her teacher's hand, worried by his thoughtful frown. "Are you okay?"

He blinked out of his thoughts and looked down at her. Really looked at her, and then crouched down with a serious look. "Everything's fine," he assured her, smiling briefly and putting a hand on her head again. "I was just thinking. Since today's your first day training with me, why don't I treat you to lunch in town? You've accomplished a lot today, and I learned a lot too. We should celebrate it. And maybe when we're done eating, we can go do something fun, okay?" Lucy had said something about Roxanne really liking books, even if she couldn't read them properly yet, so maybe a trip to the library to get some picture books or something?

Roxanne beamed, tired eyes brightening as she squeezed Gray's hand tighter. "Okay! That sounds great!"

"Alright, good." Gray smiled at her again, standing up. "What kind of foods do you like?"

"Um…" Roxanne shuffled her feet a little. "I haven't had many foods from here yet. Just one weird octopus thing, and the stuff Mira makes for me every day."

"Really? Well, okay. Then I guess…" Gray trailed off as he looked around the park thoughtfully. He turned slowly in place, making a mental map of the city and highlighting the restaurants he knew. Then he narrowed it down to cheaper lunch places that a kid would enjoy, and then narrowed it down further to the ones that were nearby—as tired as she was, he wasn't making her walk far.

"Alright," he nodded. "There's a sandwich shop not far from here. How does that sound?"

Roxanne lit up in her excitement.

Yes! Sandwiches! Something else I'm familiar with!

"Let's go there!"

Gray nodded again and led the way. Roxanne stuck close to him, grasping his hand tightly so that they didn't get separated in the bustling crowd.

Finally, Gray tugged Rox across the canal. "Here we are. Can you read the sign?" Gray asked her as they approached.

Roxanne glanced at the sign above the door and shook her head. She recognized a few of the characters, but not enough to make sense of the wooden sign.

"It says 'Jing's Subs and Cafe'."

"Oh." Roxanne tried to memorize that, and how the sign looked, but she wasn't really sure how the runes she knew matched up with the words.

Gray held the door for her, and Rox absently half-curtsied as she slipped past him, flashing him a radiant smile and the sweetest 'Thank you!' she'd ever said. When she realized what she'd done, she froze briefly, asking herself that had really just happened, before shaking it off and moving over to the line.

"Uh, no problem." Gray blinked after her, surprised for a moment, as he