Supplemental Nights to The Book of the Thousand and One Nights by Sir Richard Francis Burton (acx book reading txt) 📕

“An wane my wealth, no mane will succour me, * When my wealth waxeth all men friendly show:

How many a friend, for wealth showed friendliness * Who, when my wealth departed, turned to foe!”

Then he sprang up and going to the place wherein was the other half of his good, took it and lived with it well; and he sware that he would never again consort with a single one of those he had known, but would company only with the stranger nor entertain even him but one night and that, when it morrowed, he would never know him more. Accordingly he fell to sitting every eventide on the bridge over Tigris and looking at each one who passed by him; and if he saw him to be a stranger, he made friends with him and caroused with him all night till morning. Then he dismissed him and would never more salute him with the Salam nor ever more drew near unto him neither invited him again. Thus he continued to do for the space of a full year, till, one day, while he sat on the bridge, as was his wont, expecting who should come to him so he might take him and pass the night with him, behold, up came the Caliph and Masrur, the Sworder of his vengeance[FN#7] disguised in merchants dress, according to their custom. So Abu al-Hasan looked at them and rising, because he knew them not, asked them, “What say ye? Will ye go with me to my dwelling-place, so ye may eat what is ready and drink what is at hand, to wit, platter-bread[FN#8] and meat cooked and wine strained?” The Caliph refused this, but he conjured him and said to him, “Allah upon thee, O my lord, go with me, for thou art my guest this night, and baulk not my hopes of thee!” And he ceased not to press him till he consented; whereat Abu al-Hasan rejoiced and walking on before him, gave not over talking with him till they came to his house and he carried the Caliph into the saloon. Al-Rashid entered a hall such as an thou sawest it and gazedst upon its walls, thou hadst beheld marvels; and hadst thou looked narrowly at its water-conduits thou would have seen a fountain cased with gold. The Caliph made his man abide at the door; and, as soon as he was seated, the host brought him that eating might be grateful to him. Then he removed the tray and they washed their hands and the Commander of the Faithful sat down again; whereupon Abu al-Hasan set on the drinking vessels and seating himself by his side, fell to filling and giving him to drink[FN#9] and entertaining him with discourse. And when they had drunk their sufficiency the host called for a slavegirl like a branch of Ban who took a lute and sang to it these two couplets:—

“O thou aye dwelling in my heart, * Whileas thy form is far from sight,

Thou art my sprite my me unseen, * Yet nearest near art thou, my sprite.”

His hospitality pleased the Caliph and the goodliness of his manners, and he said to him, O youth, who art thou? Make me acquainted with thyself, so I may requite thee thy kindness.”

But Abu al-Hasan smiled and said, “O my lord, far be it, alas!

that what is past should again come to pass and that I company with thee at other time than this time!” The Prince of True Believers asked, “Why so? and why wilt thou not acquaint me with thy case?” and Abu al-Hasan answered, “Know, O my lord, that my story is strange and that there is a cause for this affair.”

Quoth Al-Rashid, “And what is the cause?” and quoth he, “The cause hath a tail.” The Caliph[FN#10] laughed at his words and Abu al-Hasan said, “I will explain to thee this saying by the tale of the Larrikin and the Cook. So hear thou, O my lord.”

Story of the Larrikin[FN#11] and the Cook One of the ne’er-do-wells found himself one fine morning without aught and the world was straightened upon him and patience failed him; so he lay down to sleep and ceased not slumbering till the sun stang him and the foam came out upon his mouth, whereupon he arose, and he was penniless and had not even so much as a single dirham. Presently he arrived at the shop of a Cook, who had set his pots and pans over the fire and washed his saucers and wiped his scales and swept his shop and sprinkled it; and indeed his fats and oils were clear and clarified and his spices fragrant and he himself stood behind his cooking pots ready to serve customers. So the Larrikin, whose wits had been sharpened by hunger, went in to him and saluting him, said to him, “Weigh me half a dirham’s worth of meat and a quarter of a dirham’s worth of boiled grain[FN#12] and the like of bread.” So the Kitchener weighed it out to him and the good-for-naught entered the shop, whereupon the man set the food before him and he ate till he had gobbled up the whole and licked the saucers and sat perplexed, knowing not how he should do with the Cook concerning the price of that he had eaten, and turning his eyes about upon everything in the shop; and as he looked, behold, he caught sight of an earthen pan lying arsy-versy upon its mouth; so he raised it from the ground and found under it a horse’s tail, freshly cut off and the blood oozing from it; whereby he knew that the Cook adulterated his meat with horseflesh. When he discovered this default, he rejoiced therein and washing his hands, bowed his head and went out; and when the Kitchener saw that he went and gave him naught, he cried out, saying, “Stay, O pest, O burglar!”

So the Larrikin stopped and said to him, “Dost thou cry out upon me and call to me with these words, O cornute?” Whereat the Cook was angry and coming down from the shop, cried, “What meanest thou by thy speech, O low fellow, thou that devourest meat and millet and bread and kitchen and goest forth with �the Peace[FN#13] be on thee!’ as it were the thing had not been, and payest down naught for it?” Quoth the Lackpenny, “Thou liest, O

accursed son of a cuckold!” Whereupon the Cook cried out and laying hold of his debtor’s collar, said, “O Moslems, this fellow is my first customer[FN#14] this day and he hath eaten my food and given me naught.” So the folk gathered about them and blamed the Ne’er-do-well and said to him, “Give him the price of that which thou hast eaten.” Quoth he, “I gave him a dirham before I entered the shop;” and quoth the Cook, “Be everything I sell this day forbidden to me, if he gave me so much as the name of a coin!

By Allah, he gave me naught but ate my food and went out and would have made off, without aught said.” Answered the Larrikin, “I gave thee a dirham,” and he reviled the Kitchener, who returned his abuse; whereupon he dealt him a buffet and they gripped and grappled and throttled each other. When the folk saw them fighting, they came up to them and asked them, “What is this strife between you and no cause for it?” and the Lackpenny answered, “Ay, by Allah, but there is a cause for it, and the cause hath a tail!” Whereupon, cried the Cook, “Yea, by Allah, now thou mindest me of thyself and thy dirham! Yes, he gave me a dirham and but a quarter of the coin is spent. Come back and take the rest of the price of thy dirham.” For he understood what was to do, at the mention of the tail; “and I, O my brother”

(added Abu al-Hasan), “my story hath a cause, which I will tell thee.” The Caliph laughed at his speech and said, “By Allah, this is none other than a pleasant tale! Tell me thy story and the cause.” Replied the host, “With love and goodly gree! Know, O my lord, that my name is Abu al-Hasan al-Khali’a and that my father died and left me abundant wealth of which I made two parts. One I laid up and with the other I betook myself to enjoying the pleasures of friendship and conviviality and consorting with intimates and boon-companions and with the sons of the merchants, nor did I leave one but I caroused with him and he with me, and I lavished all my money on comrades and good cheer, till there remained with me naught;[FN#15] whereupon I betook myself to the friends and fellow-topers upon whom I had wasted my wealth, so perhaps they might provide for my case; but, when I visited them and went round about to them all, I found no vantage in one of them, nor would any so much as break a bittock of bread in my face. So I wept for myself and repairing to my mother, complained to her of my case. Quoth she:—�Such are friends; an thou have aught, they frequent thee and devour thee, but, an thou have naught, they cast thee off and chase thee away.’ then I brought out the other half of my money and bound myself to an oath that I would never entertain any save one single night, after which I would never again salute him nor notice him; hence my saying to thee:—�Far be it, alas! that what is past should again come to pass, for I will never again company with thee after this night.’” when the Commander of the Faithful heard this, he laughed a loud laugh and said, “By Allah, O my brother, thou art indeed excused in this matter, now that I know the cause and that the cause hath a tail. Nevertheless, Inshallah, I will not sever myself from thee.” replied Abu al-Hasan, “O my guest, did I not say to thee, �Far be it, alas! that what is past should again come to pass? For indeed I will never again foregather with any!’” then the Caliph rose and the host set before him a dish of roast goose and a bannock of first-bread[FN#16] and sitting down, fell to cutting off morsels and morselling the Caliph therewith. They gave not over eating till they were filled, when Abu al-Hasan brought basin and ewer and potash[FN#17] and they washed their hands. Then he lighted three wax-candles and three lamps, and spreading the drinking-cloth, brought strained wine, clear, old and fragrant, whose scent was as that of virgin musk. He filled the first cup and saying, “O

my boon-companion, be ceremony laid aside between us by thy leave! Thy slave is by thee; may I not be afflicted with thy loss!” drank it off and filled a second cup, which he handed to the Caliph with due reverence. His fashion pleased the Commander of the Faithful, and the goodliness of his speech and he said to himself, “By Allah, I will assuredly requite him for this!” Then Abu al-Hasan filled the cup again and handed it to the Caliph, reciting these two couplets:[FN#18]—

“Had we thy coming known, we would for sacrifice Have poured thee out heart’s blood or blackness of the eyes; Ay, and we would have spread our bosoms in thy way, That so thy feet might fare on eyelids, carpet-wise.”

When the Caliph heard his verses, he took the cup from his hand and kissed it and drank it off and returned it to Abu al-Hasan, who make