The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night, vol 8 by Sir Richard Francis Burton (great books for teens TXT) 📕

“By Allah, thou art a greedy one. Tell me what thou wouldst have, O Moslem!” Quoth Khalif, “I would have of thee but a single word. [FN#274]” When the Jew heard this , he changed colour and said, “Wouldst thou oust me from my faith? Wend thy ways;” and Khalif said to him, “By Allah, O Jew, naught mattereth an thou become a Moslem or a Nazarene!” Asked the Jew, “Then what wouldst thou have me say?”; and the fisherman answered, “Say, I sell thee my ape for thy ape and my luck for thy luck.” The Jew laughed, deeming him little of wit, and said by way of jest, “I sell thee my ape for thy ape and my luck for thy luck. Bear witness against him, O merchants! By Allah, O unhappy, thou art debarred from further claim on me!” So Khalif turned back, blaming himself and saying, “There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! Alas that I did not take the gold!” and fared on blaming himself in the matter of the money till he came to the Tigris, but found not the two apes, whereupon he wept and slapped his face and strewed dust on his head, saying, “But that the second ape wheedled me and put a cheat on me, the one-eyed ape had not escaped.” And he gave not over wailing and weeping, till heat and hunger grew sore on him: so he took the net, saying, “Come, let us make a cast, trusting in Allah’s blessing; belike I may catch a cat-fish or a barbel which I may boil and eat.” So he threw the net and waiting till it had settled, drew it ashore and found it full of fish, whereat he was consoled and rejoiced and busied himself with unmeshing the fish and casting them on the earth.

Presently, up came a woman seeking fish and crying out, “Fish is not to be found in the town.” She caught sight of Khalif, and said to him, “Wilt thou sell this fish, O Master?” Answered Khalif, “I am going to turn it into clothes, ‘tis all for sale, even to my beard.[FN#275] Take what thou wilt.” So she gave him a dinar and he filled her basket. Then she went away and behold, up came another servant, seeking a dinar’s worth of fish; nor did the folk cease till it was the hour of midafternoon prayer and Khalif had sold ten golden dinars’ worth of fish. Then, being faint and famisht, he folded and shouldered his net and, repairing to the market, bought himself a woollen gown, a calotte with a plaited border and a honey-coloured turband for a dinar receiving two dirhams by way of change, wherewith he purchased fried cheese and a fat sheep’s tail and honey and setting them in the oilman’s platter, ate till he was full and his ribs felt cold[FN#276] from the mighty stuffing. Then he marched off to his lodgings in the magazine, clad in the gown and the honey-coloured turband and with the nine golden dinars in his mouth, rejoicing in what he had never in his life seen. He entered and lay down, but could not sleep for anxious thoughts and abode playing with the money half the night. Then said he in himself, “Haply the Caliph may hear that I have gold and say to Ja’afar, �Go to Khalif the Fisherman and borrow us some money of him.’ If I give it him, it will be no light matter to me, and if I give it not, he will torment me; but torture is easier to me than the giving up of the cash.[FN#277] However, I will arise and make trial of myself if I have a skin proof against stick or not.” So he put off his clothes and taking a sailor’s plaited whip, of an hundred and sixty strands, ceased not beating himself, till his sides and body were all bloody, crying out at every stroke he dealt himself and saying “O Moslems! I am a poor man! O Moslems, I am a poor man! O Moslems, whence should I have gold, whence should I have coin?” till the neighbours, who dwelt with him in that place, hearing him crying and saying, “Go to men of wealth and take of them,” thought that thieves were torturing him, to get money from him, and that he was praying for aidance. Accordingly they flocked to him each armed with some weapon and finding the door of his lodging locked and hearing him roaring out for help, deemed that the thieves had come down upon him from the terrace-roof; so they fell upon the door and burst it open. Then they entered and found him mother-naked and bareheaded with body dripping blood, and altogether in a sad pickle; so they asked him, “What is this case in which we find thee? Hast thou lost thy wits and hath Jinn-madness betided thee this night?” And he answered them, “Nay; but I have gold with me and I feared lest the Caliph send to borrow of me and it were no light matter to give him aught; yet, an I gave not to him ‘tis only too sure that he would put me to the torture; wherefore I arose to see if my skin were stick-proof or not.” When they heard these words they said to him, “May Allah not assain thy body, unlucky madman that thou art! Of a surety thou art fallen mad to-night! Lie down to sleep, may Allah never bless thee! How many thousand dinars hast thou, that the Caliph should come and borrow of thee?” He replied, “By Allah, I have naught but nine dinars.” And they all said, “By Allah, he is not otherwise than passing rich!” Then they left him wondering at his want of wit, and Khalif took his cash and wrapped it in a rag, saying to himself, “Where shall I hide all this gold? An I bury it, they will take it, and if I put it out on deposit, they will deny that I did so, and if I carry it on my head,[FN#278] they will snatch it, and if I tie it to my sleeve, they will cut it away.” Presently, he espied a little breast-pocket in the gown and said, “By Allah, this is fine! ‘Tis under my throat and hard by my mouth: if any put out his hand to hend it, I can come down on it with my mouth and hide it in my throttle.” So he set the rag containing the gold in the pocket and lay down, but slept not that night for suspicion and trouble and anxious thought. On the morrow, he fared forth of his lodging on fishing intent and, betaking himself to the river, went down into the water, up to his knees. Then he threw the net and shook it with might and main; whereupon the purse fell down into the stream. So he tore off gown and turband and plunged in after it, saying, “There is no Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!” Nor did he give over diving and searching the stream-bed, till the day was half spent, but found not the purse. Now one saw him from afar diving and plunging and his gown and turband lying in the sun at a distance from him, with no one by them; so he watched him, till he dived again when he dashed at the clothes and made off with them. Presently, Khalif came ashore and, missing his gown and turband, was chagrined for their loss with passing cark and care and ascended a mound, to look for some passer-by, of whom he might enquire concerning them, but found none. Now the Caliph Harun al-Rashid had gone a-hunting and chasing that day; and, returning at the time of the noon heat, was oppressed thereby and thirsted; so he looked for water from afar and seeing a naked man standing on the mound said to Ja’afar, “Seest thou what I see?” Replied the Wazir, “Yes, O Commander of the Faithful; I see a man standing on a hillock.” Al-Rashid asked, “What is he?”; and Ja’afar answered, “Haply he is the guardian of a cucumber-plot.” Quoth the Caliph, “Perhaps he is a pious man[FN#279]; I would fain go to him, alone, and desire of him his prayers; and abide ye where you are.” So he went up to Khalif and saluting him with the salam said to him, “What art thou, O man?” Replied the fisherman, “Dost thou not know me? I am Khalif the Fisherman;” and the Caliph rejoined, “What? The Fisherman with the woollen gown and the honey-coloured turband[FN#280]?” When Khalif heard him name the clothes he had lost, he said in himself, “This is he who took my duds: belike he did but jest with me.” So he came down from the knoll and said, “Can I not take a noontide nap[FN#281] but thou must trick me this trick? I saw thee take my gear and knew that thou wast joking with me.” At this, laughter got the better of the Caliph and he said; “What clothes hast thou lost? I know nothing of that whereof thou speakest, O Khalif.” Cried the Fisherman, “By God the Great, except thou bring me back the gear, I will smash thy ribs with this staff!” (For he always carried a quarterstaff.) Quoth the Caliph, “By Allah, I have not seen the things whereof thou speakest!”; and quoth Khalif “I will go with thee and take note of thy dwelling-place and complain of thee to the Chief of Police, so thou mayst not trick me this trick again.

By Allah, none took my gown and turband but thou, and except thou give them back to me at once, I will throw thee off the back of that she-ass thou ridest and come down on thy pate with this quarterstaff, till thou canst not stir!” Thereupon he tugged at the bridle of the mule so that she reared up on her hind legs and the Caliph said to himself, “What calamity is this I have fallen into with this madman?” Then he pulled off a gown he had on, worth an hundred dinars, and said to Khalif, “Take this gown in lieu of thine own.” He took it and donning it saw it was too long; so he cut it short at the knees and turbanded his head with the cut-off piece; then said to the Caliph, “What art thou and what is thy craft? But why ask? Thou art none other than a trumpeter.” Al-Rashid asked, “What showed thee that I was a trumpeter by trade?”; and Khalif answered, “Thy big nostrils and little mouth.” Cried the Caliph, “Well guessed! Yes, I am of that craft.” Then said Khalif, “An thou wilt hearken to me, I will teach thee the art of fishing: ‘twill be better for thee than trumpeting and thou wilt eat lawfully[FN#282].” Replied the Caliph, “Teach it me so that I may see whether I am capable of learning it.” And Khalif said, “Come with me, O trumpeter.” So the Caliph followed him down to the river and took the net from him, whilst he taught him how to throw it. Then he cast it and drew it up, when, behold, it was heavy, and the fisherman said, “O trumpeter, an the net be caught on one of the rocks, drag it not too hard, or I twill break and by Allah, I will take thy she-ass in payment thereof!” The Caliph laughed at his words and drew up the net, little by little, till he brought it ashore and found it full of fish; which when Khalif saw, his reason fled for joy and presently he cried, “By Allah, O trumpeter, thy luck is good