Lilith by George MacDonald (free ereaders .TXT) π
"How DID I get here?" I said--apparently aloud, for the question was immediately answered.
"You came through the door," replied an odd, rather harsh voice.
I looked behind, then all about me, but saw no human shape. The terror that madness might be at hand laid hold upon me: must I hencefort
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Then Eve came out to me where I sat with Lona in my bosom. She reached up her arms, took her from me, and carried her in. I dismounted, and the children also. The horse and the elephants stood shivering; Mara patted and stroked them every one; they lay down and fell asleep. She led us into the cottage, and gave the Little Ones of the bread and wine on the table. Adam and Lilith were standing there together, but silent both.
Eve came from the chamber of death, where she had laid Lona down, and offered of the bread and wine to the princess.
"Thy beauty slays me! It is death I would have, not food!" said Lilith, and turned from her.
"This food will help thee to die," answered Eve.
But Lilith would not taste of it.
"If thou wilt nor eat nor drink, Lilith," said Adam, "come and see the place where thou shalt lie in peace."
He led the way through the door of death, and she followed submissive. But when her foot crossed the threshold she drew it back, and pressed her hand to her bosom, struck through with the cold immortal.
A wild blast fell roaring on the roof, and died away in a moan. She stood ghastly with terror.
"It is he!" said her voiceless lips: I read their motion.
"Who, princess!" I whispered.
"The great Shadow," she murmured.
"Here he cannot enter," said Adam. "Here he can hurt no one. Over him also is power given me."
"Are the children in the house?" asked Lilith, and at the word the heart of Eve began to love her.
"He never dared touch a child," she said. "Nor have you either ever hurt a child. Your own daughter you have but sent into the loveliest sleep, for she was already a long time dead when you slew her. And now Death shall be the atonemaker; you shall sleep together."
"Wife," said Adam, "let us first put the children to bed, that she may see them safe!"
He came back to fetch them. As soon as he was gone, the princess knelt to Eve, clasped her knees, and said,
"Beautiful Eve, persuade your husband to kill me: to you he will listen! Indeed I would but cannot open my hand."
"You cannot die without opening it. To kill you would not serve you," answered Eve. "But indeed he cannot! no one can kill you but the Shadow; and whom he kills never knows she is dead, but lives to do his will, and thinks she is doing her own."
"Show me then to my grave; I am so weary I can live no longer. I must go to the Shadow--yet I would not!"
She did not, could not understand!
She struggled to rise, but fell at the feet of Eve. The Mother lifted, and carried her inward.
I followed Adam and Mara and the children into the chamber of death. We passed Eve with Lilith in her arms, and went farther in.
"You shall not go to the Shadow," I heard Eve say, as we passed them. "Even now is his head under my heel!"
The dim light in Adam's hand glimmered on the sleeping faces, and as he went on, the darkness closed over them. The very air seemed dead: was it because none of the sleepers breathed it? Profoundest sleep filled the wide place. It was as if not one had waked since last I was there, for the forms I had then noted lay there still. My father was just as I had left him, save that he seemed yet nearer to a perfect peace. The woman beside him looked younger.
The darkness, the cold, the silence, the still air, the faces of the lovely dead, made the hearts of the children beat softly, but their little tongues would talk--with low, hushed voices.
"What a curious place to sleep in!" said one, "I would rather be in my nest!" "It is SO cold!" said another.
"Yes, it is cold," answered our host; "but you will not be cold in your sleep."
"Where are our nests?" asked more than one, looking round and seeing no couch unoccupied.
"Find places, and sleep where you choose," replied Adam.
Instantly they scattered, advancing fearlessly beyond the light, but we still heard their gentle voices, and it was plain they saw where I could not.
"Oh," cried one, "here is such a beautiful lady!--may I sleep beside her? I will creep in quietly, and not wake her."
"Yes, you may," answered the voice of Eve behind us; and we came to the couch while the little fellow was yet creeping slowly and softly under the sheet. He laid his head beside the lady's, looked up at us, and was still. His eyelids fell; he was asleep.
We went a little farther, and there was another who had climbed up on the couch of a woman.
"Mother! mother!" he cried, kneeling over her, his face close to hers. "--She's so cold she can't speak," he said, looking up to us; "but I will soon make her warm!"
He lay down, and pressing close to her, put his little arm over her. In an instant he too was asleep, smiling an absolute content.
We came to a third Little One; it was Luva. She stood on tiptoe, leaning over the edge of a couch.
"My own mother wouldn't have me," she said softly: "will you?"
Receiving no reply, she looked up at Eve. The great mother lifted her to the couch, and she got at once under the snowy covering.
Each of the Little Ones had by this time, except three of the boys, found at least an unobjecting bedfellow, and lay still and white beside a still, white woman. The little orphans had adopted mothers! One tiny girl had chosen a father to sleep with, and that was mine. A boy lay by the side of the beautiful matron with the slow-healing hand. On the middle one of the three couches hitherto unoccupied, lay Lona.
Eve set Lilith down beside it. Adam pointed to the vacant couch on Lona's right hand, and said,
"There, Lilith, is the bed I have prepared for you!"
She glanced at her daughter lying before her like a statue carved in semi-transparent alabaster, and shuddered from head to foot. "How cold it is!" she murmured.
"You will soon begin to find comfort in the cold," answered Adam.
"Promises to the dying are easy!" she said.
"But I know it: I too have slept. I am dead!"
"I believed you dead long ago; but I see you alive!"
"More alive than you know, or are able to understand. I was scarce alive when first you knew me. Now I have slept, and am awake; I am dead, and live indeed!"
"I fear that child," she said, pointing to Lona: "she will rise and terrify me!"
"She is dreaming love to you."
"But the Shadow!" she moaned; "I fear the Shadow! he will be wroth with me!"
"He at sight of whom the horses of heaven start and rear, dares not disturb one dream in this quiet chamber!"
"I shall dream then?"
"You will dream."
"What dreams?"
"That I cannot tell, but none HE can enter into. When the Shadow comes here, it will be to lie down and sleep also.--His hour will come, and he knows it will."
"How long shall I sleep?"
"You and he will be the last to wake in the morning of the universe."
The princess lay down, drew the sheet over her, stretched herself out straight, and lay still with open eyes.
Adam turned to his daughter. She drew near.
"Lilith," said Mara, "you will not sleep, if you lie there a thousand years, until you have opened your hand, and yielded that which is not yours to give or to withhold."
"I cannot," she answered. "I would if I could, and gladly, for I am weary, and the shadows of death are gathering about me."
"They will gather and gather, but they cannot infold you while yet your hand remains unopened. You may think you are dead, but it will be only a dream; you may think you have come awake, but it will still be only a dream. Open your hand, and you will sleep indeed--then wake indeed."
"I am trying hard, but the fingers have grown together and into the palm."
"I pray you put forth the strength of your will. For the love of life, draw together your forces and break its bonds!"
"I have struggled in vain; I can do no more. I am very weary, and sleep lies heavy upon my lids."
"The moment you open your hand, you will sleep. Open it, and make an end."
A tinge of colour arose in the parchment-like face; the contorted hand trembled with agonised effort. Mara took it, and sought to aid her.
"Hold, Mara!" cried her father. "There is danger!"
The princess turned her eyes upon Eve, beseechingly.
"There was a sword I once saw in your husband's hands," she murmured. "I fled when I saw it. I heard him who bore it say it would divide whatever was not one and indivisible!"
"I have the sword," said Adam. "The angel gave it me when he left the gate."
"Bring it, Adam," pleaded Lilith, "and cut me off this hand that I may sleep."
"I will," he answered.
He gave the candle to Eve, and went. The princess closed her eyes.
In a few minutes Adam returned with an ancient weapon in his hand. The scabbard looked like vellum grown dark with years, but the hilt shone like gold that nothing could tarnish. He drew out the blade. It flashed like a pale blue northern streamer, and the light of it made the princess open her eyes. She saw the sword, shuddered, and held out her hand. Adam took it. The sword gleamed once, there was one little gush of blood, and he laid the severed hand in Mara's lap. Lilith had given one moan, and was already fast asleep. Mara covered the arm with the sheet, and the three turned away.
"Will you not dress the wound?" I said.
"A wound from that sword," answered Adam, "needs no dressing. It is healing and not hurt."
"Poor lady!" I said, "she will wake with but one hand!"
"Where the dead deformity clung," replied Mara, "the true, lovely hand is already growing."
We heard a childish voice behind us, and turned again. The candle in Eve's hand shone on the sleeping face of Lilith, and the waking faces of the three Little Ones, grouped on the other side of her couch. "How beautiful she is grown!" said one of them.
"Poor princess!" said another; "I will sleep with her. She will not bite any more!"
As he spoke he climbed into her bed, and was immediately fast asleep. Eve covered him with the sheet.
"I will go on her other side," said the third. "She shall have two to kiss her when she wakes!"
"And I am left alone!" said the first mournfully.
"I will put you to bed," said Eve.
She gave the candle to her husband, and led the child away.
We turned once more to go back to the cottage. I was very sad, for no one had offered me a place in the house of the dead. Eve joined us as we went, and walked on before with her husband. Mara by my side carried the hand of Lilith in the lap of her robe.
"Ah, you have found her!" we heard Eve say as we stepped into the cottage.
The door stood open; two elephant-trunks came through it out of the night beyond.
"I sent them with the lantern," she went on to her husband, "to look for Mara's leopardess: they have brought her."
I followed
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