You're Not the Only One With Secrets - "YNTOOWS" by Lucia Roberts (best ebook reader for surface pro .txt) 📕

more out of me each time than the fall I took that caused the first one. However, that is unimportant. Elder Malachai would not have imposed such strange news on me if I was in any less than just in need of rest. So I must be just fine. I sat up slowly, trying to take inventory of any aches and pains. Nothing so far. I must have slept through the headache I had... that's a thankful thing though. I step down from the bed slowly, half expecting either Lord Whatever or Malachai to come rushing in to keep me in bed; but no-one did. I tiptoe across the room and peer out the crack in the door. Elder must be sleeping, otherwise, he would be in the center of his carpet; which, he was not. The fire was burning brightly though. I went back my bed and grabbed the large quilt and, carrying as much of it as I could, I proceeded to drag it out of the room. I managed to nudge open the door with my elbow, but the blanket was suddenly quite a bit lighter. I turn to look around the large wad of blanket I carried to see Vish...Lord Whatever holding the other end of the comforter with silent eyes as if asking to take it from me. I relinquished it to him; I not wanting to speak any more than he.

He followed silently behind me, as if things were normal, as I lie down on the carpet and let him cover me as he always has. I looked at him as he stood over me and slowly pulled a hand from under the covers to touch his face as my mind clouded and tears threatened once again.

I can't believe this is the same 'Companion' that I saw everyday and had one sided conversations with all of the time. He let his knee touch the ground to keep balance for a moment before he then started to rise to leave the room but I grabbed his hand (his hand!) and just asked silently for him to stay. He sat down, cross-legged, between me and the fire.

He seemed far away, and, lost. He wasn't sure how close he could be. We looked at each other for a long while. I must have fallen in and out of sleep a few times and one moment I looked at him and he was sitting, when the next he was laying down about a foot from me. “I still trust you. But we have much to work on.” I whispered. He chuckled; a deep, quiet laugh. “Won't you talk to me?” He glanced at my eyes once. The only thing I noticed at that moment was that his eyes were still the same shiny silver that they always have been. “You used to seem to have so much to say and now, nothing. Haven’t you anything to say?” He took a breath and let it out slowly; thinking. All the while he stares at the floor. I left my hand between us where it fell as he moved so very, very, slowly he reached out and brushed my hand then up my arm and finally he contented himself with running his hands through my hair over and over.

“I'm sorry.”

“I understand now that it wasn't your fault. I can't hold that against you.”

“You could. And I couldn't blame you.”

“Can I ask you a question?” I murmured; half asleep. When he didn't answer I assume he had nodded and forgotten, once again, that he can speak aloud. “You are really the missing heir to the Dragon Watchers' Family?”

“Yes. Not a duty I wished to take, but this is why I found you when I did. I knew you were the key to everything. That was the last thing I was told before it happened. My parents cried repeatedly until their death 'Find the Fall' so, I came for you. I thought maybe I had to watch you and the dragons too. But then... well… never-mind. Sleep now.”

“Of all people to say 'never-mind' to, you chose me? Seriously?” He then did the most peculiar thing. He burst out in quiet laughter. “What is so funny?” He looked at me then with the first sign of happiness, or, hope, that I'd seen in days; or rather years, depending on how I chose to look at it.

“I suppose that was a rather bad move on my behalf was it not?” I did not know how to react to this question. He stopped laughing though. “If you must know, watching you isn't just a duty now. It grew to be more; a need, a have-to, a must. I have to learn now how to balance you and the dragons.”

“You make me sound like a papoose.” I rolled over to turn away from him. He jumped over me and crouched down close to me.

“It's not like that.” He started to get up but I grabbed his wrist.

“You always run away. You can't run away from me aga- now.” His face softened then. He had heard my slip up. Damn it. I didn't have to let him know how betrayed I felt. I pulled the covers above my head and stayed there. He didn't try to move them.

“I am not like Them, Amaranth. I'm not going to go anywhere without you. It's always been that way. I am still your ‘Vishnu’ as you called me; I am still me. You just had a different name for the same soul that watched you then that speaks with you now. Whether you trust me or not is a completely different set of things, but I hope you choose to trust me still. It was supposed to be this way; I know that now.” I started to pull the covers down, just, just to be sure that it really was Vishnu talking to me. I mean, after all, this was not supposed to be able to happen. This was human story material, not Fae truth.

“How did you get into my head that day when I had you write your name?”

“You heard that?” he made a sound like shock or surprise. He didn't know I heard him.

“Well, as I said, it was supposed to be this way.” He looked down at me as I let my gaze see him sitting with his arms around holding his knees, ankles crossed, letting his legs be held in a slight V shape. I looked back to his face. He's sitting next to me. Oh Goddess this is crazy.

“Can I ask you something?” I just looked at him. I was honestly afraid of what he was going to ask, but I nodded anyway. How much crazier could this be? “I know you're not used to me being, like this” as he gestured to his Fae body that was completely without fur “but do you feel... Well, never mind. I am still the same person and in the case this is temporary I need to know that you accept me as me and know that one of the reasons I didn't tell you was because I did not want you to think all the things you could have. I need you to know I remember all of the nights you've slept beside me, all the nights we fought, and all the nights you cried.” My face heated. “I need you to know that even if you resent me, or if I change back and I can be nothing for you once again besides a guard dog, or if something happens to me, that I have never and never will abandon you, give you any less than my life, or do anything less than love you.”

It was at this point that I was at a loss for words. This was something that never, ever, ever, happens; ever. It was also at this point that I guess due to my soundless-ness, he stood and with a slight bow rather to the air in front of him than to me, he left the room and softly closed the door behind him as he went to sleep in my bedroom; leaving me alone in front of the fire.

Chapter 18 : What WE Have To Do

The early morning sunlight shone through the windows brightly; beaming right in my eyes. The warmth, however, was quite welcome. I was used to being under multiple blankets or waking beside... something (or someone?) who seems to be quite a figment of my imagination at this point. I sighed and rolled over under the cover; trying not to get tangled in it like I normally do.

There was something tugging at the back of my mind; a thought. There's something I have to do... what have I forgotten? I closed my eyes and tried to lose myself in the white behind my eyelids to picture what it was; let the missing thought come to me. A face flashed once, twice, blurry, before me. There was no name but I heard a female voice say “Help him” over and over as the face got clearer. Who?!? I asked myself and the Goddess. I heard a sharp scream “Find him!” that quickly faded and died into silence. I sat up still with the image before my eyes, searching every space in my mind, until I knew who it was I searched for: Him.

I had to find Him. I had forgotten about the spat we had had a few days previous. I was taken up in my sleep and the change that Vishnu... oh dear. He's, well, he's not going to like this. My mind goes back to the night before and all I could hear now was his voice saying all those things last night... he said he feels he must protect me, but how can he now? He is no longer a wolf that is twice my size. I don't see how this will work and I doubt if he'll let me go alo- and this, of course, is when Lord Whatever chose to exit my room. I swear he must just sense when I'm thinking of things he doesn't like. He turned around after having quietly shut the door, thinking I was still asleep, to see me sitting in a frozen position drowned in the down comforter. “You're awake m'lady.” I nodded.

“I...” I began. He just looked at me; waiting. “I have to find Him.” I held my breath as he stiffened.

“I know.” Huh? What does he mean 'I know?'

“Pardon? Last I knew you couldn't read minds too.” He looked torn as to whether or not he should roll his eyes or scowl.

“He is whom I look for too. It makes sense now. You may not understand just yet, but it will be explained to you in time. We must leave as soon as possible; as soon as your health has restored; of course.” I was about to ask why he's not worried about himself, having taken on a whole different body and all, when he began to throw instructions at me.

“Now, stand slowly and put your arms out to your sides as well as let your wings out behind you. If anything is painful, stop.” I did as I was told.