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felt myself giving over to the blackness that so wanted to claim me. “Don’t give up you’ll be fine. Don’t leave.”
I gave over to the darkness. I was tired, oh so tired.


*~*~*~*~*


Kail looked down at Ash’s small fragile body in his arm. He…no she was badly burned, suffering for saving the emperor and me.
Kail thought back to the story Momoko and Sen told him the day he woke after the fire in his bed and after he read the letter they had found in Ash‘s kimono. Ash had been the woman he had saved from drowning in the lake. The girl that had saved his mother’s life by taking her place and fighting off the monks. And also Ash was the boy who he had fallen in love with and who had saved his life. Also that she wasn’t from this time or this place.
Kail decided that no matter what happened he was never going to let Ash go again. “I can see the truth in your eyes,” he whispers as he kissed an unbruised or unburned part of her forehead.


Chapter eight
A truth and a promise


I woke as someone yelled and then I heard someone say, “Shut up!” and then the sound of someone being hit. I was lying on my back and it hurt to breathe. Plus I could barely see anything. I reached up to pulled off the blindfold only to find out there was nothing covering my eyes. I couldn’t remember what happened or where I was, but for some reason I knew I was safe.
But for some reason I felt tears roll down my cheeks. All I could see where black shapes and dark gray blurs. I was blind. I felt lost and though I felt safe I felt alone. I curled into a ball, ignoring the pain and cried. I was cold and alone in this cold black world.
Later as I was just lying on my back, tears still poured from my eyes. The door opened and someone came in. I felt myself being pulled into a pair of strong arms and I pressed my face into that warm chest.
“Where am I,” I asked the person who held me.
“Your home,” was the answer I was given.
“Where is home?” I asked.
“Your home here at my mansion.” again was the only reply.
“What happened to me? I hurt everywhere.” I said.
“You don’t remember?” came the quite question.
“No. I can’t see...who you are?”
“I’m Kail.” the reply was quite again.
“You don’t sound like Kail. I’m sorry I’m a bit out of it right now. I don’t understand anything right now. My brain isn’t working right at the moment. Can you please talk to me? I don’t want to think about what happened now. I understand I have been hurt someway and can’t see but that’s it.”
“Of course I’ll talk to you. You’re just confused.” he said kissing my forehead.
I tighten my hold on him. “Kail I love you,” I said.
“…I love you too.”
“What have you been doing lately?” I asked him.
“Watching over you, so you can heal. And watching over Sen and Momoko as well. Or should I say they have been watching over me. They are worried I will somehow make you worse,” he said somberly.
I had a feeling that this was something to laugh at but I didn’t even feel like a smile would help.
“I’m sorry, but laughing or smiling seems to be something I can’t do. I feel empty inside. Hollow.
“I just can’t…feel. The only thing I can feel is you.” I said.
“It’s fine. You have had a…rough time. You need time to recover. How do you feel?” he asked.
“I hurt everywhere. With every breath, with every move.” I said.
“I understand.”
“Can you tell me what happened now?” I asked. I didn’t feel like knowing but I have to know.
“It all started a week ago on the day of the festival…” he told me what happened and as it did I saw it all again in my head. I had saved him…that is how my eyes ended this way. Although pieces of my memories were still not there.
“Kail there is something I need to tell you,” I said turning my head away from him, thinking about me being a girl. “But can it please wait till I am healed? For I am afraid
that once you hear of it you will no longer wish to neither see nor have me near you. I can’t bear the thought of being even more hurt than I am now.” I said feeling tear fall once again from my sightless eyes.
Soon I found myself asleep again. The next time I woke I was alone and I just laid there listening to what was going on around me on the outside. From what I heard it must have been around noon. There was nothing to do but lay there.
For the next few days’ people came to check on me but I said nothing. Kail came every night and stayed with me and then on the fifth day a doctor came to look at me.
“Well I can’t see any improvement. Because eighty percent of her…errs his body is covered in burns it will take some time to heal. I’m not sure how long.” he said quietly.
“Then what about my eyes,” I asked for the first time.
“Oh…your eyes. They were burned by ash in the fire. The damage to them is very bad…the chances you’ll see again are very slim if there is any hope,” he said.
I felt the emptiness come again but I pushed it away, unwilling to cry in front of others.
I nodded. “Thank you for your help. You may leave.”
He left but Kail stayed behind.
“I ask that you leave please,” I said hearing a waver in my voice.
But instead he took my in his arms gently, and said, “No.”
That was all it took to make me cry. That one single word from him.
After that day I started to wear a band around my eyes. I started to think of something that would help my eyes.
I wondered around my new room trying to memorize where everything was so I wouldn’t hit it. Then I listen to the voice of the people I heard till I could tell every detail about which the person was. And I was slowly going crazy in my own mind.
At the end of two months I had enough of being stuck in the room, so I left. I don’t know where I ended up, but the ground was covered in grass, so I sat down. It seemed to be a garden, because there was a sound of running water.
I began to wonder if I would ever see with my eyes. I haven’t tried to open my eyes and looked yet.
Will it be okay…?
“Hey! What are you doing out of the room,” I heard Kail shout as he ran toward me.
I froze in place, not sure which direction it was coming from.
Before I could turn around or get up, its mother picked me up as if I were a kitten, by the nape of its neck.
“What are you doing?! Why aren’t you in your room?” he asked. I just stood there and glared as best as I could. Angry that I was treated like a prisoner in my own home.
“I was going stir crazy in there. I’ve been there two months since the accident. I’ve had nightmares every night, but I want to go outside instead of being hidden away.” I said trying to push away from him. My hands hit nothing, but air.
Suddenly he sat down in the grass with me in his arms. “You haven’t told me anything, so I couldn’t understand what you’re going through. You can tell me anything.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve been…lost. I don’t really know what to do. I’m afraid that once I take off
I still won’t be able to see.” I said placing my head in my heads. I felt tears fell my eyes and being caught by the piece of cloth tied around my eyes.
He was quite for a moment, and then he started to rock me back and forth. “I see. I am truly sorry for it did not come to my mind that you may wish to come outside. I am sorry that you had to go through what you did.” he whispered into my hair. “And as for your eyes you must believe that you will see again. There you will see all the things you love. The roses and other flowers, and the beautiful sun set.”
“I don’t care about that…all I want to see is your face.” I said on a chocking sob.
“You will,” he said.
We stayed there for a while and soon he stood up with me in his arms.
“It is nearly evening it is time for us to go in before it chills. I don’t need you to become sick again. It hurts me greatly to see you in pain.” he said.
That night he slept with me, holding me tight, to still my haunted dreams.

I woke up surrounded in warmth I hadn’t known in a long time. I felt whole for the first time in a while and I decided that for the person I love I need to fight for what I want. I wanted to see him again and his world of wonders. I decide then and there that I would take off the band around my eyes. And I had a feeling that I would be able to see him.
I slid out of his arms and stood.
A cool morning breeze met with me as I walked outside and twisted around me as if to caress me like a lover; touching my entire body. I walked quietly from the room to the deck outside the door. I closed the door behind me. I breathed in deeply. And for the first time in months I had slept in peace without the nightmare ripping at my soul.
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