The Knight Of The Golden Melice by John Turvill Adams (cat reading book txt) π
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Glad To Make The Promise, And The Two Separated; The One, Directing
His Steps Towards His Lodging; And The Other, To Seek A Purchaser For
His Commodities. Arundel Was Anxious To Express His Gratitude, And,
Besides, Was Interested By The Talk Of The Child Of The Forest; While
Waqua, On His Part, Was Evidently Disposed To Meet Any Advances.
Eleazar Nettles, The Worthy Host Of The Ship-Tavern, Who Stood At The
Door Of The Low Rambling Building, Welcomed His Lodger With All The
Cordiality He Could Throw Into A Face Originally Not Ill-Looking Or
Unpleasing, But Which, In Consequence Of Practising An Appearance Of
Mortification, (In Order To Stand Well With The Grave Citizens), Which
Neither Belonged To The Calling Wherein He Was Engaged, Nor By Nature
To Itself, Seemed An Odd Mixture Of Earthly Depravity And Of Heavenly
Grace. Not That Eleazar Was A Bad Fellow. Nature Had Originally
Enclosed In His Dumpy Body A Good-Humoured Soul Enough, And, In A Less
Austere Community, Where The Bent Of His Disposition Might Have Had
Fair Play, He Would Have Been A Rather Jolly Dog. He Was, However, A
Victim Of Fate. By What Disastrous Chance His Lot Was Cast In That
Grim-Visaged Region, Has Never Been Satisfactorily Explained, But
Being Once In It, And A Publican By Profession, It Was Necessary To
Conform To The Habits And Manners Of Those About Him, Unless He
Desired To See His License Taken Away, And Himself A Suspected Person,
As Well As Without Employment. These Prudential Considerations
Contending With Eleazar's Nature, Had Sobered The Otherwise Mirthful
Features Of His Face, And Made Him Present The Appearance Of A Merry
And A Sad Man Rolled Into One, Each Striving For The Mastery, And Each
Alternately Achieving Victory, According To Circumstances. The Merry
Man Was Safe In The Presence Of Arundel, And, Therefore, His Mouth
Dissolved Into A Pleasant Chuckle As He Welcomed Him.
"It Is A Joy And An Honor, Master Arundel," He Said, "To See Again A
Discreet Young Gentleman Like Yourself, Whose Spirits--Ahem!--Are
Lively As My Own Ale, And Yet Chastised By A Godly 'Havior. You Must
Have Had Something Of A Walk This Morning. What Refreshment May It
Please You To Take?"
While Uttering This Speech, He Had Been Busy Ushering Into The Tap Or
Common Reception Room The Young Man, Who, By The Time It Was Finished,
Was Seated.
"Thy Guess Hits The Mark, Mine Host," He Said? "But What Is Fitting I
Leave To Thy Discretion. Thou Shalt Prescribe Like A Physician."
"Thou Art A Sweet-Tempered Gentleman, And Easily Satisfied," Answered
The Host, "And I Should Be No Better Than A Heathen Salvage To Abuse
Thy Goodness. To Begin, I Have Some Of The Famosest Malt Liquor That
Ever Ran Down Throat With A Relish."
"Avaunt, With Thy Detestable Malt Liquors. You Inveigled Me Once Into
Tasting The Decoction, And Methinks That Should Satisfy Thee, If Not
Me. Thou Wilt Hardly Succeed A Second Time. It Will Never Do. Thy
Cellar Contains Something Better, To My Knowledge."
"As You Say," Replied The Landlord, (Whose Habit Was To Recommend His
Ale To Those Who He Knew Would Not Take It, In Order, Perhaps, To Make
His Wines Taste The Better, By Consideration Of The Contrast)--"As You
Say, Master Arundel, My Malt Liquor, Though The Best In The Country,
Is Not For High-Bred Gentlemen Like Yourself. I Have Spanish Wines,
And French Wines, And Wines From Italy, And From The Canaries, And"--
"Any Will Do," Said Arundel, Knowing That A Single Kind Was Made To
Play The Part Of Vintages From All Parts Of The World; "So Be Prompt,
Good Man, For My Thirst Increases."
While The Publican, Whose Business Was Not Sufficiently Large To
Warrant Him To Employ A Tapster, Was Absent, Arundel Looked Round The
Apartment To See What Company Was Present. At No Great Distance From
Where He Sat Were Half-A-Dozen Persons, Some Of Whom, By Their Dress,
Seemed To Be Sailors, And Others Citizens. As He Turned To Look At
Them, Two Or Three, Who Were His Acquaintances, Saluted Him; And The
Conversation, Which His Entrance Had A Little Interrupted, Flowed
Again With A Full Current.
"A Queer Bit Of A Town, Good-Man Fairweather, The Saints Have Built Up
For Themselves," Exclaimed A Man In A Sailor's Jacket. "Do You Know
What It Looks Like To Me?"
"How Should I Know, Capt. Sparhawk, How Boston Looks To You?" Answered
The Man Addressed.
"That Depends Upon The Strength Of The Liquor, Methinks," Said A
Third.
"That Answer, Billy Pantry," Said The Captain, "For A Lubber That
Knows Not The Difference Between The Futtock Shrouds And Jacob's
Ladder, And Whose Head Is So Little And His Paunch So Big, Is What My
Old Schoolmaster Called A Lucy--Lucy--Damn The Other Part Of The
Name--There I Miss Stays, By Neptune!--Anyhow, It Begun With A Nat,
But There Was More Of It."
"Natwood," Suggested Billy Pantry. "I Know A Polly Natwood In Suffolk,
One Of The Completest Wenches"--
"If She Was Not Completer Than Thy Wit," Interrupted The Captain, "Her
Figure-Head Was Left Unfinished. But, Avast There; We Are Drifting Off
Soundings. Where Was I? Aye; Belay, I Have It. I Was Telling You What
Your Beggarly Town Looks Like."
"Aye, But About Lucy," Said Another, Who Had Not Spoken Before, And
Whose Perception Looked Dimly Out Of His Hazy Eyes! "I Should Like To
Hear First About Her. I Always Liked The Women."
"Hear Old Wheat," Cried The Captain--"The Wicked Villain. All The
Knowledge He Has Of The Women, I'll Be Qualified On The Main Brace, Is
What He Got From Betty Quickfist When She Hit Him A Cuff On The Ear
For His Impudence, And Twisted It Out O' Shape, As Ye May See Without
Taking A Quadrant For The Observation."
"Why," Said Billy Pantry, Turning His Mess-Mate's Head About, "His Two
Ears Are Much Alike, And, As You Say, Captain, Lop Damnably; So He
Must Have Caught It On Both Of Them, Though This One Here, Away To
Windward, Looks As If It Had Been Cut Off And Stuck On Again."
"Shut Up Your Duff-Trap," Said Wheat, Gruffly, "Or I'll Send Your
Teeth On A Cruise Down Your Throat."
"Come, Come," Cried The Captain, "I Choose To Do All The Quarreling
For This Company. How Now, My Masters, Is There To Be No Discipline
When My Foot Is Off The Quarter-Deck? If Another Man Speaks Above His
Breath, By The Beard Of Father Neptune, I Will Stop His Grog. Where
Was I? Let Me Take The Latitude Once More. Aye, Here Away Bearing Up
To Tell How I Liked This Prig Of A Town."
"Blast My Tarry Top-Lights And To'gallant Eyebrows. Do You Call This A
Town?" Demanded Bill. "Folk Does Not Call A Thing Like This A Town In
Old Hingland."
"Aye, Old England Forever," Cried The Captain, Standing Up. "Boys,
Fill Your Cups All Round, And We Will Drink A Health To Our Dear Old
Mammy."
"I Should Like To Pleasure You, Captain," Said One Of The Citizens,
"And Will Drink In All Reason Till Sundown, But There Is A Law Against
Drinking Healths."
"I Suppose There Will Be A Law Next," Exclaimed The Captain, "Against
Eating, And That Will Finish The Job. The Rest Of You May Do As You
Like, But Jack Sparhawk Never Yet Was Afraid Of Any Man, And Is Not
Going Now To Strike His Peak To Admiral Winthrop. So Here's A Toast
For Ye:
"Prosperity To England's Friends!
Perdition To Her Foes!
Heaven To Herself! To Hell She Sends
All Spaniards And Crapeaua!"
Saying This, He Drained His Cup. "And Now, Boys, About This Little
Starched Old Maid Of A Town--"
"There You Are, In A Fog, Captain," Interrupted Pantry. "How Can It Be
An Old Maid, When, On Every Tack, Half A Dozen Children, Like So Many
Porpoises, Come Across Your Bows?"
"Any Wit But Thine Own Would Easily Box That Compass," Answered The
Captain. "But Talking Is Thirsty Business, And We Will Have Up Another
Bottle. Halloa, Old Nettletop, Bear A Hand With Some More Of Your
Weak-Waters. What Do You Stand Gaping There For, Like A Chicken With
The Pip? Off With You. And Now, While Old Thistle Is Rummaging The
Locker, I Will Give You My Mind About This Matter Of--"
But, Alas! An Incident Now Occurred Which Has Deprived Posterity
Forever Of The Invaluable Opinion Of Captain Sparhawk Respecting The
Appearance Of Boston In 16--, And Of His Explanation Of The Phenomenon
Suggested By Bill.
Some Five Or Ten Minutes Before, A Grave Looking Personage, With A
Long Staff In His Hand, Had Stolen Quietly Into The Room, Unnoticed By
Any One But Arundel--The Landlord Being Absent At The Time--And Taken
A Seat Where He Could Overhear The Conversation. Upon Mine Host's
Return, And Noticing The Stranger, He Exhibited Some Embarrassment,
And Endeavored To Catch The Attention Of The Drinking Party Without
Attracting That Of The New Comer. His Efforts, However, Were In Vain,
And Assuming An Air Of Deep Mortification, He Waited For What Should
Happen. Upon Being Required By The Captain To Supply More Wine, He Had
Shaken His Head, Which It Seems Was Not Taken Much Notice Of By The
Sailor, And Was Preparing To Reply, When He Was Anticipated By The
Stranger. Lifting Up His Staff, And Pointing With It At The Table, He
Said,
"Furnish No More Strong Liquor, Good Man Nettles, To These Carousers.
Methinks They Have Already Had More Than Enough For Their Souls' Or
Bodies' Health."
"I Will Not Gainsay Thee, Master Prout," Said The Host, "And Will
Obey, As Becometh A Man Who Respects Thee And Thine Office; But The
Wine Is Good And Can Do No Harm, As Thou Mayest Convince Thyself By
Trial. I Will Pour Thee Out A Cup."
"Nay," Said Master Prout, "I Need It Not. I Do Stand Amazed," He
Added, Bending His Brows Severely On The Host, "That, A Man Professing
Godliness, And One Of The Congregation, Shouldst Administer To The
Carnal Appetite Till The Graceless Sinner Is Converted Into A Swine."
"Dear Master Prout, Be Not So Hard On A Friend. I Knew Not The
Strength Of My Wine, Or That These Strangers Were So Unaccustomed To
Drinking. The Wine Hath Been But Lately Bought, Being Part Of The
Cargo Of The Abstemious, And Thou Knowest I A Indulge Not, Else I
Should Have Been Acquainted With Its Potency, And Regulated Things
Accordingly. But Thou Seest The Six Have Drunk Only So Many Poor
Bottles."
"Enough, Goodman Nettles," Answered Prout. "Remove, Now, These
Incitements To Temptation, And After That Will I Drop A Word Of
Friendly Advisement Into The Ears Of These Offenders."
During This Conversation A Profound Silence Had Prevailed At The
Table--The Three Citizens Recognising In The Intruder One Whose
Authority It Would Be Folly To Resist, And The Sailors Apparently
Confounded At The Boldness Of The Interference, And Curious To Hear
What Should Pass Between The Landlord And His Dictatorial Visitor. But
When Mine Host, In Obedience To An Order From The Latter, Began To
Take Away The Bottles And Cups, Captain Sparhawk, Who Had Sat Leaning
On His Elbow Upon The Table And Eyeing The Two, Now Seemed To Think
That His Dignity Required Some Interference On His Part.
"How Now, My Masters," He Exclaimed. "What Coil Is This? Are We To Be
Boarded In This Piratical Way, And See All Our Stores And, Provisions
Captured Without A Blow? Run Up The Red Cross, Wheat. Call All Hands
To Repel Boarders, And Follow Me."
"Cease Thy Papistical Babble; It Doth Vex My Soul More Even Than Thy
Drunkenness," Cried Master Prout.
"Papist In Thy Teeth And Drunkenness To Boot," Exclaimed The Excited
Captain, At The Same Time Striking At Master Prout, Who, However,
Easily Eluded The Blow Of The Intoxicated Man.
The Other Two Sailors Now Manifested Some Intention Of Coming To The
Assistance Of Their Superior, But Were Held Back By The Citizens, And
Restrained, Moreover, By A Knowledge Of The Formidable Power Of Master
Prout, Who Was Well Known As A Sort Of Censor Or Guardian Of The
Morals Of The Place, Appointed By The Magistrates.
"Keep Quiet, Man," Said Prout, Pushing The Obstreperous Captain Back
Into His Seat, "Or Thy Mazzard And My Staff May Become Better
Acquainted Than Will Be Altogether Agreeable. Do Thou Hold Him, Good
Man Nettles, As Being In Some Wise Accountable For His Condition. So
Shalt Thou, Also, Partake Of The Savory Crumbs Of Advice Which It Is
My Intention To Bestow On This Man Of Belial And His Companions."
Master Prout, Thereupon Drawing A Chair, Placed It Immediately In
Front Of The Captain, And Seated Himself, While Mine Host Held The
Delinquent Fast. The Functionary Paid No Attention Whatever To The
Exclamations And Ejaculations Of The Sailor, Which, Furious At First,
Gradually Died Away Until They Ceased Entirely, But Went On Steadily
With His Speech.
"Thou Art A Stranger," He Said, "And Therefore Am I The More Disposed
To Overlook Thy Transgression, Seeing That Thou Art Not Acquainted
With The Manners Of The Godly Town
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