Howl by Brieanna Boyce (e reading malayalam books txt) 📕

unrelenting, merciless, shower head. Taking this small punishment I so deserved I could hardly look myself in the mirror. It’s funny really I’m more beautiful than I’ve ever been and yet the mirror the sight of my reflection disgusted me now more than ever.
What was I becoming? This is not what I had intended of my life. I looked at the tiles and stepped out of the fountain of hell water lashing down at me so that I could more closely look at the tile on the opposite wall of the shower. There was one drop of water that caught my attention for some reason it was different then all the others. I wasn’t sure how or why but it traveled it was on a steady straight course just as the others were and then the strangest thing happened; the water droplet veered off course nowhere near the others. The straight path it had once taken was over gone and now it was taking a path not traveled.

I fell to my knees and wept violently, I had wanted to join the peace core, go to school, become a vet, get married someday maybe even have children and now those chances, those things I’d wanted so dearly were gone. I know it was selfish to think of myself at this time. Kale, Gerard, Derek, Meg, and Jason they all had to do the same thing, it wasn’t right for me to weep for just myself, and yet, how could I help it? I couldn’t. These miseries, these tears, were being ripped from my very essence pouring and overflowing out of my soul.

Finally after awhile I got onto my feet, who knows how long it had been but Kale knocked on my door.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Kale said every bit of malice dripping in his voice, spreading through me like venom.

I didn’t respond I rose to my feet and turned off the water I wrapped myself in the towel I had strewn across the floor so carelessly. Then opened the door, I saw Kale’s face first bitter and cold. His soft seductive lips were pulled down at the corners in a scowl, his eyes half covered by his eyebrows furrowed to show his disapproval. Then the look melted away and a new look of concern took anger’s place. His soft golden eyes were wide and searching.

“Skylar, are you…”

“I’m fine Kale,” I said and in a way it was true. Having cried like that left me drained, empty. I could honestly say the only thing I felt was tired. Perhaps it was at crying so much or perhaps it was because the shower had relaxed my body into exhaustion. Either way the only thing I was seeking was the inside of my eyelids. I walked past him although he had opened his mouth to say something. I could care less what he had to say right now. I walked down the hall towards my room but Derek suddenly appeared in front of me.

“Skylar, I want to apologize you’ve kept my secret and I haven’t been very nice to you.”

In truth I could somewhat understand how the whole pack (except Kale) was skittish of me; they had depended on each other, only each other for a long time. Then suddenly a newcomer comes in and she doesn’t quite fit and they hardly know anything of her. I’m sure I’d be just as hostile especially if this girl was half vampire half werewolf.

“Don’t worry about it Derek, I’m not upset…No offense but I’m wiped so can you move so I can go to bed.”

He chuckled, his dark eyes dancing with amusement, “Yes ma’am,” he moved out of the way and bowed. I smiled, it was funny how a big, muscular guy, with green hair and a look that said, don’t mess with me and yet he was friendly and kind and everything that went against what his looks said.

I pat his head grinning, “That’s better, hey Derek?”

“Yeah?” he said standing up so that he towered over me smiling mockingly down at me.

I chuckled, “I won’t tell.”

“I know,” Derek said confidently then moved aside.

“Night,” I called over my shoulder then headed into my room too tired to wait for a response. I dragged my feet to the bed, feeling as if lead was weighing me down.

Meg had said some smart ass remark but I didn’t catch it; I collapsed into my bed and buried myself in my pillows and blankets. I closed my eyes savoring the warmth and comfort I felt and then I slowly floated on the waves of sleep, brining me farther and farther into its depths until I was submerged in it.

In my dream I was wearing a long, white gown. It was strange because I’d never been very fond of dresses, although I had to admit that this dress was beautiful. It reached to the floor and it was strapless leaving my shoulders exposed. Across the torso there was a design that reminded me of ivy because of the way it curled and twisted bearing pearls at the end. The wind blew lightly causing my dress to ripple, the wind was not chilly but rather warm wrapping me in its luxurious heat. I was hanging on a railing on a balcony looking at the sunset which painted the sky in hues of oranges, reds, yellows, and pinks. The land itself was beautiful as well it’s dark green trees giving way to bright green pastures.

“It’s lovely isn’t it?”

I turned so quickly I nearly fell over Tristan caught me by the waist and laughed his blue eyes, were glimmering putting the skies to shame.

“Am I dreaming this?” I asked when what I’d wanted to say was something flirty, or witty, something that would win him over. It seems I am just as hopeless in my dreams as I am out of them.

Tristan bit his lip, I found myself staring at those lips, they were beckoning me inviting me, and yet cowardice made it so that I did not accept.

“Yes and no,” Tristan finally answered, “You are dreaming but I’m controlling it.”

“Oh,” I said, I couldn’t believe it I’d wanted to see him more than anything tell him how I feel and what poetic words came out of my mouth? “Oh.” Why couldn’t I just tell him talking wasn’t so hard I was rather good at it and yet this seemed more difficult than anything that is of course except leaving. That was difficult.

“How do you like it?” He smiled warmly.

I looked at him his blue eyes, so full of pain of strength, his golden hair almost made of sunlight itself. He looked like an angel a beautiful angel. I felt all my worries disappear, the only thing I was afraid of here was me making an idiot out of myself.

“It’s beautiful,” It was the truth in fact it felt truer than anything I had ever said.

I looked at Tristan.

“How did you age with me if you’re a vampire?” She remembered growing up with him, he was the same age as her, or so she had thought until the last letter she received from him revealed he was over 300 years old and since vampires didn’t age physically it seemed impossible.

Tristan shrugged, “It’s an ability all vampires posses but they can only change their appearance in age but they can’t altar their appearance other than that. It makes it easier for us to hunt if we can be the same age, or at least appear so.”

“Oh,” I said unsure of what I should say. I should be alarmed he’d referred to me as prey and yet I couldn’t manage to do anything but admire and love him.

I remember when we were younger when we had been 7 years old that was 10 years ago; we had hit it off right away playing together and going to each other’s houses. It was a summer day, we were playing and I stopped and turned to him in front of a neighbor’s house I leaned into him to kiss him and then he stopped me and pointed. I looked over at my neighbor’s grandma smiling at us. I grabbed his hand, undeterred and ran home brought him into my room and kissed him. I sometimes wish I hadn’t because we no longer hung out at each other’s houses after that. However we didn’t stop seeing each other that was our first kiss and our last. I remember as I got older and heard of all the things he had to endure, being beaten and abused by his mother. Yet he never let on, he was always smiling and kind of course, I knew better I could see the sadness burning in his eyes.

He wasn’t like anyone else, he didn’t get involved with gossip he was always polite. Yet sometimes I wished he’d be more open not only for me but for himself.

He’d made me so happy he inspired me to be better and stronger, and I am a better person for have knowing him.

No matter what the case, no matter what he was or what he’d done, his past, his baggage. It wouldn’t change anything I love him. I love Tristan. With every fiber of my being, I swear it to be true, even if nothing else in this world is. It was a curse to love someone so wrong for me. I guess in a way we were star crossed lovers. Except our stars crossed before we’d even become lovers. To love, to yearn for him was a terrible thing but if I had to choose someone to love it would be him anyway. He was my disease, my curse, my love, my end and my savior. All wrapped in one. These days it is the only truth I know the only truth I depend upon.

Tristan looked at me a slow smile spreading over his face; I felt an answering smile on mine. In one moment it felt like we were reliving all our moments together and it felt so right. If there was really destiny it would lead me to him; but since I don’t believe in that kind of thing it’s all up in the air. For now though with him, I could just swim in those blue eyes and be reminded of childhood summer days, I didn’t have to worry about vampires, or werewolves or death. In fact there were no worries just the nervous fluttering of my heart.

Eventually there came a time when the mood shifted, Tristan turned to me.

“Skylar, you have to go.”

I pouted. “Already, couldn’t I just stay for a few more minutes?”

Tristan shook his head and leaned in close to me; my heart nearly stopped, I slowly leaned in but let him make the choice of meeting his lips to mine. He bit his lip looked at me and pulled away at the last moment.

“We should go.”

I read his body language he pursed his lips and then looked down. He was attempting to keep his emotions in check as was the usual course of action however; I could read him clear as I could read a book. He was holding something back, something he was fighting himself over. What it was I had no clue after all I am no mind reader, though in times like these perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad then again it would be one more thing to add