A Hope Unseen by Jamie Leigh (book recommendations website .txt) 📕

“He’s not gone; He wouldn’t just leave he cares about us; about me,” she kept telling herself this over and over again checking the window every five minutes but as night fell he still did not come home. She woke up the next morning on her homework by the window. She quickly looked out of it, but his car still was not there she felt the hot tears rolling down her face. She went to her bed and laid down telling herself,
“This is just a dream. It cannot be true this is all wrong families can't just fall apart, not mine at least,” and with this new thought came a whole new series of hot tears.She reached over to the jewelry box on her desk beside her bed and took out the razor blade, she had hidden there for three months. She was going to cut herself, but when she ran the sharp edge across her skin nothing would happen. She could not explain it, she ran the blade across her skin over and over again, but she could feel nothing, no pain, no cut, and no blood. Frustrated she threw the sharp weapon across the room and collapsed onto the floor. She cried the whole morning. When she finally got the tears to stop she got herself ready for school and went downstairs, when she got to the dining room only Tommy was at the table.
“Good morning Jo,” He said with a smile she could not help but smile back at him,
“Good morning Tommy,” she said happy to have a bright and smiling face around.
“Where is Dad?” he asked her so innocently she held the tears back as best she could. She could feel them welling up in her eyes. She quickly pulled herself back together and said,
“He went to the office early this morning.” Yes, she lied to him. She loved him terribly, but as much as she loved him. Josie could not bring herself to tell him the awful truth that their father was gone probably forever.
“It would be better if mama explained it,” she told herself, trying to make herself feel better about lying to him. They had a quiet breakfast, and Josie could not think of anything to say to cheer her mother up, so she just sat quietly with her eyes down. Josie helped clean up then she had to be on her way to school again. As she stepped off her porch she around and across the road about five houses down, there was Jake.
“Has he lived right across the street from me this whole time, and I never knew?” (Josie had been living there for five years, but the idea had not occurred to her that some of these houses might, in fact, have children living in them). She stood there just watching as he walked down his driveway got to the sidewalk and crossed the street. He was coming straight toward her. Becoming aware of what she was doing, Josie became embarrassed that she was staring at him and quickly turned away. He did not seem to notice he walked directly to her. “Are you okay Josie?” he asked “you look pale,” he said with concern. She looked the other way hoping the water works would not appear again. “I'm fine,” she answered with a shaky voice “it’s just been a rough morning is all.” She did feel a little dizzy, but she thought it was just because she was tired. He looked her in the eyes, but she quickly turned away. “Alright then, let’s go” he said with a small smile. A little unsure, he kept an eye on her the whole way. At times, she would stumble a bit, and she looked as if she were going to faint, but Josie was a strong person and held out until they were half way to the school, but she wasn’t that strong. She suddenly felt extremely dizzy. Everything was going black it was getting hard for her to breath she did not know what was happening, but she thought if she only had one last thing to look at she wanted to see the love that she hungered. She turned suddenly and looked at Jake attempting to see his eyes and the love that was held within them. However, she turned to fast and collapsed right in front of him. He was ready to catch her at an instant (as much as he could catch her) he knew she was not well. It was only a few minutes that she was out, but when she woke up, she was laying on the grass with Jake sitting right next to her. He seemed to be saying something, but she could not make it out. It was all gibberish to her. She sat up and looked at him, but she had gotten up to fast and again, everything went black and she did not wake up again until she was home.


When she collapsed, Jake caught her and laid her on the grass and immediately started to pray,
"Please, Jesus, please help her. She needs you, please let her be okay” Before he had time to finish she sat up the color came back to her face for a bit but then was gone again. He noticed she was wearing a baggy, quarter sleeved shirt. When she fell for the second time her sleeve bunched up around her shoulder, and he saw why she dropped her books the day before. He looked at her face and then back at the scars he took out a bandanna and wrapped it around her cut arm (as he did he had a pain in his right arm that he could not explain) when he finished he put her arm around his neck and brought her home. For the rest of the day, Jake could not focus all his friends (though he did not have many) were wondering what was going on with him but could get no story out of him.
"What is wrong?” they would ask,
“it’s nothing,” he would answer. They knew there was something wrong, but he did not want to tell them because they said they were Christians, but he would have never known if he hadn't known them from his church. They would taunt and tease and say he did not care about her, but that he just liked her. Right after school he ran to her house to see if she was okay. He was terribly worried and did not know what to expect. Flash backs of his past were flooding into his mind. When he got to her house, it seemed like the slowest he had ever run, but he finally got there, He knocked at the door (he did not want to ring the bell, he did not know if she was sleeping). Josie’s mother opened the door. She looked sad and hurt,
"Hello,” she said with such a sweet and gentle voice that made him almost forget about how sorry she looked.
“Hi Mrs.Monsore, I am Jake, from across the street. I'm the one who brought Josie home when she passed out. Can I talk to her please?” He asked with such concern in his voice she could not say "no," even if she wanted.
“She is upstairs in her room second door to the right, come on in, and thank you” she said with a smile.
“Any time,” he answered. He wanted to charge upstairs but contained himself. He stepped inside and walked up the stairs as quiet as possible.


Josie was in her bed trying to remember what had occurred. She went over it in her head again and again. All she could remember was his eyes, and how they always seemed so calm and understanding, and then she thought about what he was saying it all sounded like gibberish except the words, “she needs you” she thought about it,
“Who do I need?” she said to herself when she was suddenly startled by a knock on her door.
“Can I come in?” he asked "it's Jake."
“Sure,” she answered. The door opened, and a smiling face appeared.
“Hey Josie, how are you feeling?” he asked, closing the door behind him and taking a seat on her bed.
“Oh, great” she answered with sarcasm. “What happened?” she asked, “All I remember is turning around to see …”she stopped and looked down a little sheepishly “Um, I mean turning around” she finished still feeling a little awkward. He did not seem to notice.
"You turned around to fast and passed out, you were white as a ghost. I caught you right before your head hit the ground you scared me for a minute there."
“Oh, I'm sorry,” she apologized “You saw my arm …?” she asked a little frustrated. He looked down at his hands twirling a quarter between his fingers.
“Did you wrap it for me?” she asked, looking at his face.
“I didn’t want anyone to see it… ” he answered in a whisper looking at the bright green wall, following the painted black vine that stretched across the whole room. Following it to the lavender curtains that draped over the bench by the window. His eyes ran along the bench when something shiny caught his attention. Squinting from the bright light that blinded him, he realized what it was he was looking at.
"So you cut yourself...?" he asked, taking in a deep breath. Josie followed his gaze and saw the razor. She closed her eyes and answered,
“Yes!"
"Why?" he asked in a hushed tone.
"It's hard sometimes. I feel it’s easier to have the pain on the outside, so you don't have to think about the pain on the inside.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. He sat looking at the ground his brow knitted together. His eyes were dark and pained she watched as his jaw clenched. He twirled the coin between his fingers faster and faster till it fell to the tiles with a loud ringing. He quickly bent over and picked it up. His eyes met hers, and he gave her a slight smile.
"Do you want to quit?" He asked her keeping eye contact. Josie could not stop the tears from coming out. Jake sat down next to her and wiped the moisture from her face.
“I heard you talking, when I passed out. You said I needed someone.” He looked at her smiling again.
“Well don’t just look at me. Who were you talking about?” she asked.
“Well, I will tell you, but not yet because you won’t believe me” he said watching her face for a reaction.
"Try me!" she said waiting for him to tell her.
“Well, okay” he began.


“When I was little my Pa liked to drink a lot. My Ma said he never used to until I was about a year old. That’s when he started his heavy drinking and it just kept getting worse. I don't remember much about my real family, but I remember my Ma always had bruises.
"I tripped on something or something fell on me," Ma would tell me, but when I got a little older my Pa did not hurt her in secret anymore. I wanted to stop him, but I did not know how so it just kept happening, but one day he was more, drunk than I ever remember him and that put him in a horrible mood, and ever though I was young I will never forget that day.”


“Jake get over here this instant” yelled raspy voice. “Why are you so lazy boy? I told you to be