Toy Story by J.L. Smith (red white and royal blue hardcover .TXT) 📕

myself (well, maybe not entirely to “myself”) “yeah…what color is yours?”

Okay…I’m going through a divorce and closing in on the age of 50…and I have a red vibrator…so what? “Sex” doesn’t get much “safer” than that, does it?

Okay…I’m calm now…for the moment. (Of course, I was calm about 10 minutes ago before this happened and that didn’t last!) I stop and look at Marcus who is once again mesmerized by Jimmy Neutron.

I realize that I can’t really be mad at him…the “toy” looks like a shiny red missile and it does have blinking lights like something out of a Toy Story movie. And although I constantly tell him to stay out of drawers – especially those in Gramma’s room – I did leave him alone in the house for a whole 5 minutes! So, this travesty of justice is all my own fault…I can blame no one else (even though I want to so badly!).

Besides…if I did get upset and scold him, he’d just look up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and say “I love you, Gramma”…then what am I supposed to do? Or better still, he’ll conjure up some big old crocodile tears and when I ignore him, he’ll say “Gramma…I’m crying!” like he always does…as if I can’t see that!

Anyway…grandmothers aren’t supposed to dole out punishment…we’re supposed to dole out candy when their parents aren’t looking!

It is…what it is…what it is…

"It is strange but true that although we may have learned all sorts of important facts while raising our own children, when we become grandparents, we still tend to forget a whole lot of things we knew."

~Eda Le Shan

So what am I going to do about this? Absolutely nothing…what can I do? It is what it is. I’ll get a newspaper first thing tomorrow – bright and early - and begin my search for a new place to live. I’m really going to miss this neighborhood.

Suddenly exhausted by the day's events, I decide that watering the plants in the back yard can – and will have to – wait. I’m going to go to bed and hide my head under the covers. I tell Marcus that it’s time for “nite-nite” and he looks at me questioningly. “But Gramma…not dark yet…no bed…Teutron on”, he shrieks. I look at the clock…it’s only 6:30. “Haven’t you ever heard of daylight savings time?” I counter back. “We’re going to bed anyway…now nite-nite!”

Then it hits me that he hasn’t eaten dinner yet. “Oh Maaarcuuuus, you must be hungry...you’ve had such a busy day…here, have some Skittles before you turn in” I say, as I toss him a pack. He turns his head away from the television for one split second to snatch the bag of Skittles from midair, then returns his attention to his beloved "Teutron".

Okay…you’re thinking here that I’m a horrible, horrible Gramma and you’re probably right. But again...it is what it is. I’m not competing for any “Gramma of the Year Award” and I’ve had a rough day. Skittles are made from some kind of “fruit” (flavoring), I’m sure. I’ll make him a nutritious breakfast in the morning.

The “morning after”.

"I look forward to the day when I can look back on today and laugh."

~Author: unknown

Well, I awaken blissfully the next morning, thankful for another day, while momentarily forgetting what had happened the night before. I stretch my arms above my head and take a moment to give my “thanks” for being alive. Hey…I woke up…anything else is a bonus, right? And then it hit me, like a brick in the back of my head. Every sordid detail began replaying in my mind.

Maybe it was just a dream…maybe it didn’t really happen at all! “Hey…maybe if I hang around the house long enough, everyone will have left for work and I won’t have to mumble “good morning” as I try to avoid their knowing eyes. If anyone even smiles at me on this “morning after”, I’ll quickly jump to the conclusion that they did, indeed, see the whole sordid episode yesterday and are replaying it in their mind as they smile, wave and say “have a good day (vibrator girl)”, with just the slightest hint of pity in their voice.

“Come on Judy, I mumble to myself…pull yourself together…it’s not that bad! Get up and start your day as if nothing happened! Use the Power of Attraction…positive thoughts become positive things! Oh, I’m positive alright…positive that I have to move.”

So I lift myself out of bed and suddenly it hits me…I don’t think I ever went back out to turn the water off!!!! Great…now I’ve single-handedly worsened the California water shortage! That’s gonna be a nice water bill!

The "Epiphany"

e•piph•a•ny (ĭ-pĭf'ə-nē): a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2): an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3): an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure

I walk wearily toward the front door, open it and peek out, making sure no one is within eyesight (theirs or mine), before venturing outside to turn off the water. Splashing through the lake that was once my lawn, I can hear the "cha-ching" of the water company calculating my next bill. They’ll probably send me a letter of thanks.

I never did water the plants out back last night, so I headed out to my back yard. (I know you’re thinking “here we go again…she’s outside watering her plants!”) The sun was shining and I found myself once again revisiting last night's events. Then it struck me…THIS is something others can relate to (well, maybe not this exactly!) and THIS is a story that if told, can help others through similar trying times!

THIS is so timely right now…we are in the midst of a war and there are thousands of mothers and fathers deployed to the farthest corners of the world. And there are thousands of grandparents “Reporting for Doodie”! I have so many stories to share – happy stories, sad stories, and heartwarming stories. I’ve always wanted to write a book about something that could help people, entertain people, inspire people and just get people to stop and really think…THIS is what I should write a book about!

"It is only in the exceptional minds that we realize how wonderful are the commonest experiences of life. It seems to me sometimes that these experiences have an 'inner' side, as well as the outer side we normally perceive. At such moments one suddenly sees everything with new eyes; one feels on the brink of some great revelation. It is as if we caught a glimpse of some incredibly beautiful world that lies silently about us all the time."

~ J. W. N. Sullivan

The magnitude of my epiphany was instantaneous and overwhelming. It became crystal clear to me that every single thing that had happened in my life – good and bad - had brought me to this moment in time, where I stood in awe. A million “what if’s” began racing through my mind.

The memories of both the uplifting and challenging times that I had been experiencing were building up inside me…I was ready to burst! My mind just reeled at all the circumstances that had brought me to this place in my life. I began tracing my life backwards in my mind and putting 2 and 2 and 2 and a million 2’s together! That’s why “that” happened…that’s why “this” happened…this moment, right now, is why EVERYTHING happened the way it did…now it all makes sense!

My divorce…Marcus coming to stay with me…having to care for him all by myself, yes…even the vibrator incident…everything had happened in the perfect, pre-designated order to bring me to this wonderful place! I had mistakenly been feeling embarrassment, shame, insecurity…but those feelings were instantaneously and miraculously replaced with those of exhilarating excitement, joyfulness…and most importantly, thankfulness.

In that moment, I realized that everything that had happened and everything that is going to happen is all part of the master plan of my life and I stood ready to take on any challenge…with gratitude.

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along."

~ Eleanor Roosevelt

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Publication Date: 01-09-2010

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