Can I Live Again? by Tyrone Vincent Banks (android pdf ebook reader txt) 📕
Excerpt from the book:
A retired and recently widowed USMC Sniper agrees to one last mission in the same area where his wife was killed in action. He must come to terms with his loss, accomplish his mission and then find a way to go on with his life.
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frigid blast from the AC and the escape from the searing Quantico sun. After a quick power nap he grabbed a book or two and headed to a Pizza Restaurant for a quick bite.
Being on base was a surreal experience for him. Men and women walked or drove by in their uniforms. Blue pants with the red stripe and the beige shirts decorated with various awards, camouflage, some dress-whites. He felt like an alien wearing his civvies as he did each weekend but his high and tight haircut and clean shaven face still made him a Marine.
When his slice of pizza and glass of cola arrived, he slid them forward and continued to read his training materials. He didn’t notice that she walked in. He didn’t notice that she noticed him. He did notice, however, when she sat down across from him and placed her books on the table.
Leonard looked up slowly and could not believe his eyes. He was speechless and she uttered the first words.
“I’m Manuela Ortiz.”
Leonard stared into her eyes for a moment and was speechless. He thought; this must be a joke! There are so many better looking men all around in their top physical shape and she’s here with me?
She sensed his “disorientation” and continued; “So, are you ready?”
Leonard replied; “Ready for…?”
“The test! I have so much studying to do and I had to get away from the rest of those crazy women!”
Leonard began to feel more confident and replied; “I have a hotel room!”
“Are you making a pass at me Thomas?”
“How did you know?”
“That you were making a pass at me?”
“No, how did you know that my name was Thomas?”
She pointed at one of Leonard’s books.”
“It says it right there, Officer Candidate Thomas.”
“Oh, you are a detective!”
“Kind of!”
After laughing nervously, a tall marine in full MP uniform walked towards the table. Leonard was out of uniform but felt as if he should stand or salute, or something. Leonard was confused and just sat there quietly. He thought; easy come, easy go!
“Manuela!”
Manuela turned around and smiled as the man walked over. Leonard was visibly disappointed as he felt that he may have been her husband or boyfriend. He was taller, in better physical shape and obviously “gainfully employed.” He pretended to be wrapped up in his studies and tried to ignore the conversation between the two of them.
“Victor, this is Leonard Thomas!”
Victor extended his hand and Leonard stood and shook it.
“So you’re the guy that my little sister’s been talking about!”
Leonard felt a sense of relief, puzzlement and confusion.
“I…I…guess so?”
“Well, you be nice to her or I’ll have to come and lock you up!”
“Yes Sir!”
“At ease Thomas, I’m joking!! Well good luck on the test! See ya sis!”
He kissed Manuela on the cheek and pat Leonard on the shoulder and walked to the back of the restaurant.
“My Uncle Velazio owns this restaurant; he makes the best Pizza in all of Quantico! Actually this is the only Pizza restaurant in Quantico.”
“So, my meal is free?”
Manuela laughed and answered, “Probably not!”
Leonard managed to say, “You’ve been talking about me?”
Manuela replied, “Nope!”
She laughed and looked at Leonard’s sad face and stated, “You wear your emotions on your sleeve! I like that! I have an idea, we should get our food to go and go back to your room and get to it!”
“It?”
“Studying! What were you thinking about?”
“Studying…of course!”
Manuela and Leonard walked back to the hotel slowly talking about their experiences up until that time. Manuela was a young lady of Italian and Colombian heritage. Her family was small and almost all were stationed either in or near Quantico in various branches of the Corps. Or various government agencies. Her uncle Velazio Pagliano was her mother Maria Pagliano-Ortiz’s younger brother and chose to be a restaurateur as opposed to a marine.
Maria Pagliano met Juan or John Ortiz decades earlier as they were both attending the OCS program in the early 70’s. Their relationship survived the Vietnam War and other periods of conflict and resulted in a stable and strong relationship. This is the kind of life that Manuela wanted. One that would last a lifetime and grow stronger when far apart from each other for months or even years.
Leonard was from a totally different world. He was from Connecticut and he signed up for the Marine Corps. Platoon Leader’s class primarily to explore career options and to stay away from the streets which were becoming predominantly more and more dangerous. He knew that what he’d be doing would be far more dangerous but he wanted to feel that he had a purpose.
Leonard wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time. He felt that his independence and lack of a significant other would give him the freedom to explore several options for the direction that his life would travel in. He had been involved in a few temporary relationships but it seemed that there was always something that would cause a break up. He kept his heart secluded and protected from love with the fear that he would be heartbroken. It was at those times when he let his heart free and pursued a relationship that it would eventually fall apart for one reason or another.
He took a vow within his own heart to never let anyone else in, but this young lady, if her intentions were sincere and pure, would break through that wall with little or no resistance. With each step they were getting closer to each other until the conversation began to flow fluently without hesitance or nervousness. They arrived at the room and placed their books on the desk and sat on the bed.
“Yes! Now this is the life! A cool room, no crazy women complaining about absolutely everything!”
Manuela lay back on the bed looking at the ceiling, smiling.
“Shall we begin?”
Leonard opened the first of several books and they began to quiz each other on the material. The time went by slowly and the hot Quantico sun was replaced by a cool Quantico moon. The pair awakened at about 10 o’clock that night, each of them scanning the room quickly to get accustomed to where they were.
“Leonard, what time is it?”
“About 22:00”
“Oh Oh!”
“What?”
“The last bus already went back to the squad bay; I’m going to have to stay here!”
“You trust me to be a perfect gentleman?”
“Of course! You seem to be open and honest and you know that my brother carries a gun!”
“Point taken! So you’ll stay with me…to study?”
“What else would we do besides study?”
“Nothing else…”
“I’ll be happy to stay with you for as long as you can stand me!”
Leonard replied, “In that case, you can stay with me forever!”
***
“Daddy?”
Leonard awakened as Mikal poured the contents of the glass into the sink and threw the bottle of whiskey into the trash.
“What are you doing?”
“Daddy, you don’t drink anymore! What would mommy say?”
Mikal walked over to his father and gave him a hug.
“Daddy, Mommy’s going to be okay. I just know it!”
“What are you talking about Mikal?”
“Daddy, I’m 8! I can read! We need to pray for Mommy! She always told me to ‘Give my impossibilities to Jesus!’ and I did. I know that you’re sad, I’m sad too, But the Lord will make a way out of no way!”
“Mikal, I love you! Mommy would be so proud of you! Let’s get you to school! I’m going to be okay, we’re going to be okay!! Mommy always told me that she’d never leave us and if she did it would only be for a little while…we’ll see her soon!”
“Amen!”
“You are something else little man!”
For a brief second Leonard envied his eight year old son for his faith and courage. Many years were spent instilling these values into young Mikal Thomas and Leonard wished that he had paid more attention to his own teachings so that he could persevere during these troubling times.
***
Later that afternoon Leonard was looking through stacks of photographs, letters and miscellaneous documents. He tried so hard to keep from crying but in spite of all of the faith that he had in God, he still had doubts. Mikal walked in and sat on the floor next to him.
“Daddy, when did you meet Mommy?”
“Over seventeen years ago.”
“Was it love at first sight?”
“Definitely!”
“Did you get married right away?”
“No, but we were made for each other!”
Leonard continued his trip down memory lane and began to tell Mikal about his past. As he relayed this information to his attentive 8 year old, an unedited version of his experiences flashed through his mind.
“Mommy and I graduated from OCS together in 1988. We thought that we’d never see each other again and we wanted to exchange addresses and phone numbers…”
***
In the weeks to follow after the night with Manuela, the couple had little or no time to speak with or see one another. Once again the isolation between the male and female candidates continued and the “fixed” fire watch rotation confined Leonard to the squad bay constantly. They would see each other again for just a moment before the graduation as Leonard stood watch outside of the chow hall while the rest of the platoon filed in for breakfast at 4 am.
Leonard stood silently as the orange Quantico sun broke through the night –time clouds. The rest of the platoon stacked the weapons in the appropriate teepee like formation and he stood watch. In the distance he could see another platoon approaching and when they were close he ascertained that they were the female officer candidates. They filed in as another walked towards his direction heading towards the supply room for the water containers.
Leonard stood there and did not move. On that morning he could have competed with one of the best of the Queen of England’s palace guards. He stood there but noticed that someone was approaching. When she was less that a meter away, a thin ray of sunlight reflected across her face. Seeing her made Leonard’s heart skip a beat and several other beats after. What she said to him would stay in his memories for many years to come.
She whispered, “Leonard.”
“Manuela…”
“Don’t talk, just listen, we don’t have much time…I meant all of those things that I said to you on that night that we spent together. I’m not into long distance relationships but I’ll give it a try for you. After the graduation, look for me. Don’t lose hope, just look for me and you’ll find me.”
She hugged him quickly, possibly breaking hundreds of OCS rules of conduct, and continued; “I’ll wait for you…please wait for
Being on base was a surreal experience for him. Men and women walked or drove by in their uniforms. Blue pants with the red stripe and the beige shirts decorated with various awards, camouflage, some dress-whites. He felt like an alien wearing his civvies as he did each weekend but his high and tight haircut and clean shaven face still made him a Marine.
When his slice of pizza and glass of cola arrived, he slid them forward and continued to read his training materials. He didn’t notice that she walked in. He didn’t notice that she noticed him. He did notice, however, when she sat down across from him and placed her books on the table.
Leonard looked up slowly and could not believe his eyes. He was speechless and she uttered the first words.
“I’m Manuela Ortiz.”
Leonard stared into her eyes for a moment and was speechless. He thought; this must be a joke! There are so many better looking men all around in their top physical shape and she’s here with me?
She sensed his “disorientation” and continued; “So, are you ready?”
Leonard replied; “Ready for…?”
“The test! I have so much studying to do and I had to get away from the rest of those crazy women!”
Leonard began to feel more confident and replied; “I have a hotel room!”
“Are you making a pass at me Thomas?”
“How did you know?”
“That you were making a pass at me?”
“No, how did you know that my name was Thomas?”
She pointed at one of Leonard’s books.”
“It says it right there, Officer Candidate Thomas.”
“Oh, you are a detective!”
“Kind of!”
After laughing nervously, a tall marine in full MP uniform walked towards the table. Leonard was out of uniform but felt as if he should stand or salute, or something. Leonard was confused and just sat there quietly. He thought; easy come, easy go!
“Manuela!”
Manuela turned around and smiled as the man walked over. Leonard was visibly disappointed as he felt that he may have been her husband or boyfriend. He was taller, in better physical shape and obviously “gainfully employed.” He pretended to be wrapped up in his studies and tried to ignore the conversation between the two of them.
“Victor, this is Leonard Thomas!”
Victor extended his hand and Leonard stood and shook it.
“So you’re the guy that my little sister’s been talking about!”
Leonard felt a sense of relief, puzzlement and confusion.
“I…I…guess so?”
“Well, you be nice to her or I’ll have to come and lock you up!”
“Yes Sir!”
“At ease Thomas, I’m joking!! Well good luck on the test! See ya sis!”
He kissed Manuela on the cheek and pat Leonard on the shoulder and walked to the back of the restaurant.
“My Uncle Velazio owns this restaurant; he makes the best Pizza in all of Quantico! Actually this is the only Pizza restaurant in Quantico.”
“So, my meal is free?”
Manuela laughed and answered, “Probably not!”
Leonard managed to say, “You’ve been talking about me?”
Manuela replied, “Nope!”
She laughed and looked at Leonard’s sad face and stated, “You wear your emotions on your sleeve! I like that! I have an idea, we should get our food to go and go back to your room and get to it!”
“It?”
“Studying! What were you thinking about?”
“Studying…of course!”
Manuela and Leonard walked back to the hotel slowly talking about their experiences up until that time. Manuela was a young lady of Italian and Colombian heritage. Her family was small and almost all were stationed either in or near Quantico in various branches of the Corps. Or various government agencies. Her uncle Velazio Pagliano was her mother Maria Pagliano-Ortiz’s younger brother and chose to be a restaurateur as opposed to a marine.
Maria Pagliano met Juan or John Ortiz decades earlier as they were both attending the OCS program in the early 70’s. Their relationship survived the Vietnam War and other periods of conflict and resulted in a stable and strong relationship. This is the kind of life that Manuela wanted. One that would last a lifetime and grow stronger when far apart from each other for months or even years.
Leonard was from a totally different world. He was from Connecticut and he signed up for the Marine Corps. Platoon Leader’s class primarily to explore career options and to stay away from the streets which were becoming predominantly more and more dangerous. He knew that what he’d be doing would be far more dangerous but he wanted to feel that he had a purpose.
Leonard wasn’t looking for a relationship at that time. He felt that his independence and lack of a significant other would give him the freedom to explore several options for the direction that his life would travel in. He had been involved in a few temporary relationships but it seemed that there was always something that would cause a break up. He kept his heart secluded and protected from love with the fear that he would be heartbroken. It was at those times when he let his heart free and pursued a relationship that it would eventually fall apart for one reason or another.
He took a vow within his own heart to never let anyone else in, but this young lady, if her intentions were sincere and pure, would break through that wall with little or no resistance. With each step they were getting closer to each other until the conversation began to flow fluently without hesitance or nervousness. They arrived at the room and placed their books on the desk and sat on the bed.
“Yes! Now this is the life! A cool room, no crazy women complaining about absolutely everything!”
Manuela lay back on the bed looking at the ceiling, smiling.
“Shall we begin?”
Leonard opened the first of several books and they began to quiz each other on the material. The time went by slowly and the hot Quantico sun was replaced by a cool Quantico moon. The pair awakened at about 10 o’clock that night, each of them scanning the room quickly to get accustomed to where they were.
“Leonard, what time is it?”
“About 22:00”
“Oh Oh!”
“What?”
“The last bus already went back to the squad bay; I’m going to have to stay here!”
“You trust me to be a perfect gentleman?”
“Of course! You seem to be open and honest and you know that my brother carries a gun!”
“Point taken! So you’ll stay with me…to study?”
“What else would we do besides study?”
“Nothing else…”
“I’ll be happy to stay with you for as long as you can stand me!”
Leonard replied, “In that case, you can stay with me forever!”
***
“Daddy?”
Leonard awakened as Mikal poured the contents of the glass into the sink and threw the bottle of whiskey into the trash.
“What are you doing?”
“Daddy, you don’t drink anymore! What would mommy say?”
Mikal walked over to his father and gave him a hug.
“Daddy, Mommy’s going to be okay. I just know it!”
“What are you talking about Mikal?”
“Daddy, I’m 8! I can read! We need to pray for Mommy! She always told me to ‘Give my impossibilities to Jesus!’ and I did. I know that you’re sad, I’m sad too, But the Lord will make a way out of no way!”
“Mikal, I love you! Mommy would be so proud of you! Let’s get you to school! I’m going to be okay, we’re going to be okay!! Mommy always told me that she’d never leave us and if she did it would only be for a little while…we’ll see her soon!”
“Amen!”
“You are something else little man!”
For a brief second Leonard envied his eight year old son for his faith and courage. Many years were spent instilling these values into young Mikal Thomas and Leonard wished that he had paid more attention to his own teachings so that he could persevere during these troubling times.
***
Later that afternoon Leonard was looking through stacks of photographs, letters and miscellaneous documents. He tried so hard to keep from crying but in spite of all of the faith that he had in God, he still had doubts. Mikal walked in and sat on the floor next to him.
“Daddy, when did you meet Mommy?”
“Over seventeen years ago.”
“Was it love at first sight?”
“Definitely!”
“Did you get married right away?”
“No, but we were made for each other!”
Leonard continued his trip down memory lane and began to tell Mikal about his past. As he relayed this information to his attentive 8 year old, an unedited version of his experiences flashed through his mind.
“Mommy and I graduated from OCS together in 1988. We thought that we’d never see each other again and we wanted to exchange addresses and phone numbers…”
***
In the weeks to follow after the night with Manuela, the couple had little or no time to speak with or see one another. Once again the isolation between the male and female candidates continued and the “fixed” fire watch rotation confined Leonard to the squad bay constantly. They would see each other again for just a moment before the graduation as Leonard stood watch outside of the chow hall while the rest of the platoon filed in for breakfast at 4 am.
Leonard stood silently as the orange Quantico sun broke through the night –time clouds. The rest of the platoon stacked the weapons in the appropriate teepee like formation and he stood watch. In the distance he could see another platoon approaching and when they were close he ascertained that they were the female officer candidates. They filed in as another walked towards his direction heading towards the supply room for the water containers.
Leonard stood there and did not move. On that morning he could have competed with one of the best of the Queen of England’s palace guards. He stood there but noticed that someone was approaching. When she was less that a meter away, a thin ray of sunlight reflected across her face. Seeing her made Leonard’s heart skip a beat and several other beats after. What she said to him would stay in his memories for many years to come.
She whispered, “Leonard.”
“Manuela…”
“Don’t talk, just listen, we don’t have much time…I meant all of those things that I said to you on that night that we spent together. I’m not into long distance relationships but I’ll give it a try for you. After the graduation, look for me. Don’t lose hope, just look for me and you’ll find me.”
She hugged him quickly, possibly breaking hundreds of OCS rules of conduct, and continued; “I’ll wait for you…please wait for
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