War and Peace by graf Leo Tolstoy (latest ebook reader .TXT) ๐
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- Author: graf Leo Tolstoy
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โAm I spoiled for Andrewโs love or not?โ she asked herself, and with soothing irony replied: โWhat a fool I am to ask that! What did happen to me? Nothing! I have done nothing, I didnโt lead him on at all. Nobody will know and I shall never see him again,โ she told herself. โSo it is plain that nothing has happened and there is nothing to repent of, and Andrew can love me still. But why โstill?โ O God, why isnโt he here?โ Natรกsha quieted herself for a moment, but again some instinct told her that though all this was true, and though nothing had happened, yet the former purity of her love for Prince Andrew had perished. And again in imagination she went over her whole conversation with Kurรกgin, and again saw the face, gestures, and tender smile of that bold handsome man when he pressed her arm.
Anatole Kurรกgin was staying in Moscow because his father had sent him away from Petersburg, where he had been spending twenty thousand rubles a year in cash, besides running up debts for as much more, which his creditors demanded from his father.
His father announced to him that he would now pay half his debts for the last time, but only on condition that he went to Moscow as adjutant to the commander in chiefโa post his father had procured for himโand would at last try to make a good match there. He indicated to him Princess Mary and Julie Karรกgina.
Anatole consented and went to Moscow, where he put up at Pierreโs house. Pierre received him unwillingly at first, but got used to him after a while, sometimes even accompanied him on his carousals, and gave him money under the guise of loans.
As Shinshรญn had remarked, from the time of his arrival Anatole had turned the heads of the Moscow ladies, especially by the fact that he slighted them and plainly preferred the gypsy girls and French actressesโwith the chief of whom, Mademoiselle George, he was said to be on intimate relations. He had never missed a carousal at Danรญlovโs or other Moscow revelersโ, drank whole nights through, outvying everyone else, and was at all the balls and parties of the best society. There was talk of his intrigues with some of the ladies, and he flirted with a few of them at the balls. But he did not run after the unmarried girls, especially the rich heiresses who were most of them plain. There was a special reason for this, as he had got married two years beforeโa fact known only to his most intimate friends. At that time while with his regiment in Poland, a Polish landowner of small means had forced him to marry his daughter. Anatole had very soon abandoned his wife and, for a payment which he agreed to send to his father-in-law, had arranged to be free to pass himself off as a bachelor.
Anatole was always content with his position, with himself, and with others. He was instinctively and thoroughly convinced that it was impossible for him to live otherwise than as he did and that he had never in his life done anything base. He was incapable of considering how his actions might affect others or what the consequences of this or that action of his might be. He was convinced that, as a duck is so made that it must live in water, so God had made him such that he must spend thirty thousand rubles a year and always occupy a prominent position in society. He believed this so firmly that others, looking at him, were persuaded of it too and did not refuse him either a leading place in society or money, which he borrowed from anyone and everyone and evidently would not repay.
He was not a gambler, at any rate he did not care about winning. He was not vain. He did not mind what people thought of him. Still less could he be accused of ambition. More than once he had vexed his father by spoiling his own career, and he laughed at distinctions of all kinds. He was not mean, and did not refuse anyone who asked of him. All he cared about was gaiety and women, and as according to his ideas there was nothing dishonorable in these tastes, and he was incapable of considering what the gratification of his tastes entailed for others, he honestly considered himself irreproachable, sincerely despised rogues and bad people, and with a tranquil conscience carried his head high.
Rakes, those male Magdalenes, have a secret feeling of innocence similar to that which female Magdalenes have, based on the same hope of forgiveness. โAll will be forgiven her, for she loved much; and all will be forgiven him, for he enjoyed much.โ
Dรณlokhov, who had reappeared that year in Moscow after his exile and his Persian adventures, and was leading a life of luxury, gambling, and dissipation, associated with his old Petersburg comrade Kurรกgin and made use of him for his own ends.
Anatole was sincerely fond of Dรณlokhov for his cleverness and audacity. Dรณlokhov, who needed Anatole Kurรกginโs name, position, and connections as a bait to draw rich young men into his gambling set, made use of him and amused himself at his expense without letting the other feel it. Apart from the advantage he derived from Anatole, the very process of dominating anotherโs will was in itself a pleasure, a habit, and a necessity to Dรณlokhov.
Natรกsha had made a strong impression on Kurรกgin. At supper after the opera he described to Dรณlokhov with the air of a connoisseur the attractions of her arms, shoulders, feet, and hair and expressed his intention of making love to her. Anatole had no notion and was incapable of considering what might come of such love-making, as he never had any notion of the outcome of any of his actions.
โSheโs first-rate, my dear fellow, but not for us,โ replied Dรณlokhov.
โI will tell my sister to ask her to dinner,โ said Anatole. โEh?โ
โYouโd better wait till sheโs married....โ
โYou know, I adore little girls, they lose their heads at once,โ pursued Anatole.
โYou have been caught once already by a โlittle girl,โโ said Dรณlokhov who knew of Kurรกginโs marriage. โTake care!โ
โWell, that canโt happen twice! Eh?โ said Anatole, with a good-humored laugh.
The day after the opera the Rostรณvs went nowhere and nobody came to see them. Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna talked to the count about something which they concealed from Natรกsha. Natรกsha guessed they were talking about the old prince and planning something, and this disquieted and offended her. She was expecting Prince Andrew any moment and twice that day sent a manservant to the Vozdvรญzhenka to ascertain whether he had come. He had not arrived. She suffered more now than during her first days in Moscow. To her impatience and pining for him were now added the unpleasant recollection of her interview with Princess Mary and the old prince, and a fear and anxiety of which she did not understand the cause. She continually fancied that either he would never come or that something would happen to her before he came. She could no longer think of him by herself calmly and continuously as she had done before. As soon as she began to think of him, the recollection of the old prince, of Princess Mary, of the theater, and of Kurรกgin mingled with her
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