The Home and the World by Rabindranath Tagore (elon musk reading list TXT) π
The grandmother, in her old age, was very fond of me. At the bottom of her fondness was the thought that, with the conspiracy of favourable stars which attended me, I had been able to attract my husband's love. Were not men naturally inclined to plunge downwards? None of the others, for all their beauty, had been able to prevent their husbands going headlong into the burning depths which consumed and destroyed them. She believed that I had been the means of extinguishing this fire, so deadly to the men of the family. So she kept me in the shelter of her bosom, and trembled if I was in the least bit unwell.
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I myself had given. "I would be alone," I repeated.
"Queen," he said, "the presence of another person does not
prevent your being alone. Do not mistake me for one of the
crowd. I, Sandip, am always alone, even when surrounded by
thousands."
"Please come some other time. This morning I am ..."
"Waiting for Amulya?"
I turned to leave the room for sheer vexation, when Sandip drew
out from the folds of his cloak that jewel-casket of mine and
banged it down on the marble table. I was thoroughly startled.
"Has not Amulya gone, then?" I exclaimed.
"Gone where?"
"To Calcutta?"
"No," chuckled Sandip.
Ah, then my blessing had come true, in spite of all. He was
saved. Let God's punishment fall on me, the thief, if only
Amulya be safe.
The change in my countenance roused Sandip's scorn. "So pleased,
Queen!" sneered he. "Are these jewels so very precious? How
then did you bring yourself to offer them to the Goddess? Your
gift was actually made. Would you now take it back?"
Pride dies hard and raises its fangs to the last. It was clear
to me I must show Sandip I did not care a rap about these jewels.
"If they have excited your greed," I said, "you may have them."
"My greed today embraces the wealth of all Bengal," replied
Sandip. "Is there a greater force than greed? It is the steed
of the great ones of the earth, as is the elephant, Airauat, the
steed of Indra. So then these jewels are mine?"
As Sandip took up and replaced the casket under his cloak, Amulya
rushed in. There were dark rings under his eyes, his lips were
dry, his hair tumbled: the freshness of his youth seemed to have
withered in a single day. Pangs gripped my heart as I looked on
him.
"My box!" he cried, as he went straight up to Sandip without a
glance at me. "Have you taken that jewel-box from my trunk?"
"Your jewel-box?" mocked Sandip.
"It was my trunk!"
Sandip burst out into a laugh. "Your distinctions between mine
and yours are getting rather thin, Amulya," he cried. "You will
die a religious preacher yet, I see."
Amulya sank on a chair with his face in his hands. I went up to
him and placing my hand on his head asked him: "What is your
trouble, Amulya?"
He stood straight up as he replied: "I had set my heart, Sister
Rani, on returning your jewels to you with my own hand. Sandip
Babu knew this, but he forestalled me."
"What do I care for my jewels?" I said. "Let them go. No harm
is done.
"Go? Where?" asked the mystified boy.
"The jewels are mine," said Sandip. "Insignia bestowed on me by
my Queen!"
"No, no, no," broke out Amulya wildly. "Never, Sister Rani! I
brought them back for you. You shall not give them away to
anybody else."
"I accept your gift, my little brother," said I. "But let him,
who hankers after them, satisfy his greed."
Amulya glared at Sandip like a beast of prey, as he growled:
"Look here, Sandip Babu, you know that even hanging has no
terrors for me. If you dare take away that box of jewels ..."
With an attempt at a sarcastic laugh Sandip said: "You also ought
to know by this time, Amulya, that I am not the man to be afraid
of you."
"Queen Bee," he went on, turning to me, "I did not come here
today to take these jewels, I came to give them to you. You
would have done wrong to take my gift at Amulya's hands. In
order to prevent it, I had first to make them clearly mine. Now
these my jewels are my gift to you. Here they are! Patch up any
understanding with this boy you like. I must go. You have been
at your special talks all these days together, leaving me out of
them. If special happenings now come to pass, don't blame me.
"Amulya," he continued, "I have sent on your trunks and things to
your lodgings. Don't you be keeping any belongings of yours in
my room any longer." With this parting shot, Sandip flung out of
the room.
XIX
"I have had no peace of mind, Amulya," I said to him, "ever since
I sent you off to sell my jewels."
"Why, Sister Rani?"
"I was afraid lest you should get into trouble with them, lest
they should suspect you for a thief. I would rather go without
that six thousand. You must now do another thing for me--go home
at once, home to your mother."
Amulya produced a small bundle and said: "But, sister, I have got
the six thousand."
"Where from?"
"I tried hard to get gold," he went on, without replying to my
question, "but could not. So I had to bring it in notes."
"Tell me truly, Amulya, swear by me, where did you get this
money?"
"That I will not tell you."
Everything seemed to grow dark before my eyes. "What terrible
thing have you done, Amulya?" I cried. "Is it then ..."
"I know you will say I got this money wrongly. Very well, I
admit it. But I have paid the full price for my wrong-doing. So
now the money is mine."
I no longer had any desire to learn more about it. My very
blood-vessels contracted, making my whole body shrink within
itself.
"Take it away, Amulya," I implored. "Put it back where you got
it from."
"That would be hard indeed!"
"It is not hard, brother dear. It was an evil moment when you
first came to me. Even Sandip has not been able to harm you as I
have done."
Sandip's name seemed to stab him.
"Sandip!" he cried. "It was you alone who made me come to know
that man for what he is. Do you know, sister, he has not spent a
pice out of those sovereigns he took from you? He shut himself
into his room, after he left you, and gloated over the gold,
pouring it out in a heap on the floor. 'This is not money,' he
exclaimed, 'but the petals of the divine lotus of power;
crystallized strains of music from the pipes that play in the
paradise of wealth! I cannot find it in my heart to change them,
for they seem longing to fulfil their destiny of adorning the
neck of Beauty. Amulya, my boy, don't you look at these with
your fleshly eye, they are Lakshmi's smile, the gracious radiance
of Indra's queen. No, no, I can't give them up to that boor of a
manager. I am sure, Amulya, he was telling us lies. The police
haven't traced the man who sank that boat. It's the manager who
wants to make something out of it. We must get those letters
back from him.'
"I asked him how we were to do this; he told me to use force or
threats. I offered to do so if he would return the gold. That,
he said, we could consider later. I will not trouble you,
sister, with all I did to frighten the man into giving up those
letters and burn them--it is a long story. That very night I
came to Sandip and said: 'We are now safe. Let me have the
sovereigns to return them tomorrow to my sister, the Maharani.'
But he cried, 'What infatuation is this of yours? Your precious
sister's skirt bids fair to hide the whole country from you. Say
Bande Mataram and exorcize the evil spirit.'
"You know, Sister Rani, the power of Sandip's magic. The gold
remained with him. And I spent the whole dark night on the
bathing-steps of the lake muttering Bande Mataram.
"Then when you gave me your jewels to sell, I went again to
Sandip. I could see he was angry with me. But he tried not to
show it. 'If I still have them hoarded up in any box of mine you
may take them,' said he, as he flung me his keys. They were
nowhere to be seen. 'Tell me where they are,' I said. 'I will
do so,' he replied, 'when I find your infatuation has left you.
Not now.'
"When I found I could not move him, I had to employ other
methods. Then I tried to get the sovereigns from him in exchange
for my currency notes for six thousand rupees. 'You shall have
them,' he said, and disappeared into his bedroom, leaving me
waiting outside. There he broke open my trunk and came straight
to you with your casket through some other passage. He would not
let me bring it, and now he dares call it his gift. How can I
tell how much he has deprived me of? I shall never forgive him.
"But, oh sister, his power over me has been utterly broken. And
it is you who have broken it!"
"Brother dear," said I, "if that is so, then my life is
justified. But more remains to be done, Amulya. It is not
enough that the spell has been destroyed. Its stains must be
washed away. Don't delay any longer, go at once and put back the
money where you took it from. Can you not do it, dear?"
"With your blessing everything is possible, Sister Rani."
"Remember, it will not be your expiation alone, but mine also. I
am a woman; the outside world is closed to me, else I would have
gone myself. My hardest punishment is that I must put on you the
burden of my sin."
"Don't say that, sister. The path I was treading was not your
path. It attracted me because of its dangers and difficulties.
Now that your path calls me, let it be a thousand times more
difficult and dangerous, the dust of your feet will help me to
win through. Is it then your command that this money be
replaced?"
"Not my command, brother mine, but a command from above."
"Of that I know nothing. It is enough for me that this command
from above comes from your lips. And, sister, I thought I had an
invitation here. I must not lose that. You must give me your
prasad [26] before I go. Then, if I can possibly manage
it, I will finish my duty in the evening."
Tears came to my eyes when I tried to smile as I said: "So be
it."
Food consecrated by the touch of a revered person.Chapter Eleven
Bimala's Story
XX
WITH Amulya's departure my heart sank within me. On what
perilous adventure had I sent this only son of his mother? O
God, why need my expiation have such pomp and circumstance?
Could I not be allowed to suffer alone without inviting all this
multitude to share my punishment? Oh, let not this innocent
child fall victim to Your wrath.
I called him back--"Amulya!"
My voice sounded so feebly, it failed to reach him.
I went up to the door and called again: "Amulya!"
He had gone.
"Who is there?"
"Rani Mother!"
"Go and tell Amulya Babu that I want him."
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