Berlin Walls, Hipsters & Haikus by Mike Marino (best novels to read in english .TXT) 📕

by the three who have already been dere for 6 months.”

 

(Side note: Sydney Australia was the facilitator of getting agents in and out the West for the East and into the East for the West..for a price to each side, without each side aware of the double dealings! He was not only a mincing drag queen, but a double agent himself!)

 

I took it from there. “Six months is usually the time it takes both east and west to discover agents in the soup and go after then, So we smuggle three in...and smuggle three out.”

 

Pietro fired off a valid question. “What if we get caught?”

 

“Well then we get shot, but the good news is there will be fair show trial after a rigorous round of torture. If we are careful...we won’t  get caught,” I tried to sound as convincing as Churchill waving his derby at the Hun from the cliffs of Dover!

 

Silent nods of heads, good...agreement so far.

 

Margot the resident metal welder and sculptress who made aluminum penis art along with being or resident evil with a weird smallish third breast had a question. “I can’t see the Eastern Sector just letting us walk in and walk out. There has to be a catch.”

 

Sibyll and I looked at each other. Finally I spoke.

 

“We will put on a rehearsal here at the gallery, in fact a one act play that leans to the left as well as a trial performance of what we will call the  Solidarity Circus. The Russians and East Germans love anything with the word Solidarity tossed in as much as they love vodka and beer. The highlight will be a life size human Punch and Judy show where we show the west at the bully nations. As a result of this very public performance Sibyll and I will both be arrested, and the newspapers and radio will carry the story to give us a stamp of commie appeal. The East monitors closely our news so they will be aware of our efforts. Once released on a technicality we apply to the East to give a performance for our “comrades”  behind the wall….”

 

The plans was agreed to and now in motion….

 

“Look we have  seven days to come up with a Punch and Judy act and for some of you  to learn the art of fire breathing, sword swallowing, and miming and clowning.   Volunteers? Any dwarfs you know that might be interested. Dwarf juggling and dwarf mimes would be a nice touch.”

 

They all signed up for the various positions and within a day or two we’d be ready to get our act together. Horst and Marlene would join us for the circus and the Heil Hipster trek to East Berlin.

I let Sydney know the plan and he was already greasing the palms of the local police and the journalists to be ready for the arrest and press to give us our cover story.

 

It was almost Showtime in the Kill Zone!

Chapter Six - Don't Step on Land Mimes

 

Chapter - 6

Don’t Step on Land Mimes!

Let the freak show begin! We had a reprieve and instead of one week we had one month to get our duct tape of a carnival circus & sideshow in shape for our forbidden foray into the bowels of East Berlin for a bit of covert undercover recovery medicine show to extract three Western agents out and insert three new agents into the belly of the Soviet beast.

 

We had filled all the roles of the human Punch and Judy Show utilizing an all midget cast. Midgets are fun to watch especially when you dress the little fuckers up as Italianate hand puppets with attitude and you’ll be ready to follow the Kremlin Brick Road!  

 

To get our political point across that would get us arrested on this side of the wall to solidify our cover, we had written  a scene where, Margot, one of our lesbian thespians pull off the Uncle Sam as Grim Reaper attacking Cuba and small Central American countries that didn’t sing dance to the American beat.

 

One of the shows highlights turned out to be the  mime segments. The standing room only feature was where Pietro posed as  a mine laying prone of the ground, not moving a muscle as another mime strolls leisurely along and steps on the prostate mime at which point the mime jumps up flailing its arms madly yelling “BOOM!” as the other leisurely mime falls to the ground dead...yes...he had inadvertently stepped  on a land mime!

 

As for the jugglers they jiggled and  juggled dressed as those beyond weird Vatican  Swiss Guards with pointed genii shoes and sporting  huge striped pantaloons that would would be more at home  worn by a guard in a Turkish harem salivating in heat over the haven of off limits hymans reserved for a potent totentate in Istanbul.

 

The  clowns were made up to be  Weimar Republic cabaret garish as a bit of whimsy on our part designed to scare the the little tykes for a laugh. They were also the three western agents we were going to leave behind the wall while the three we came to rescue would take their place for the extraction.  

    We decided to go full scale corn on the macabre with our performance so we enlisted the help from the Professor Klingermanns Hamburg Karneval der Naturen der menschlichen Kuriositäten better known to the underworld of good taste, Professor Klingermanns Hamburg Carnival of Natures of Human Oddities, people right at home on a construction site who could and would pound nails up their nose instead of snorting coke, swashbuckling pirate types swallowing swords instead of pharmaceuticals that would make William Burroughs and his stoned adding machines proud.

 

We found a plethora of weirdness  in three ladies who could feast by eating and breathing fire with  gusto and could create a flamethrower tower of power to light Hemingway’s cigar before he could pull off a double barreled shotgun blast.

 

We had werewolf gentlemen, elephant men and bearded ladies with enough tattoos to resemble a Burmese tribal leader. We also discovered the  yin and yang of our own Eng and Chang, the famed P.T Barnum Siamese twins who managed to stay joined in holy matrimony while joined together themselves for life...imagine that honeymoon!! Roll over Eng, it's my turn to Chang..to chang is verb! These guys were the Asian doublemint twins gone kink! Our twins were a couple of Hungarian bi-sexuals who could do things with latex and balloons  you wouldn’t believe!

 

Our Solidarity circus was an explosive conflagration of contortionists sharing the stage with exotic belly dancers from Turkey with sheer costumes that if the sun was just right, and it always seemed to be, you could see the shadows of shapely legs and hidden patches of fur  that would surely cause the imagination to run rampant and wild with the thoughts of a carnal tryst with a contorting belly dancer no matter what country or planet she was from...the possibilities were and are endless. My dream is to make love to an Amazonion contortionist who can wrap her legs around her head from a sitting position and I can be a pivot point...insert your own visual here.

 

Some of our acts would attach themselves to lightbulbs and provide the electric current to light up Broadway or a full string of Christmas lights adorning the Pentagon, while others would escape from straight jackets while chained upside down in tanks of water. All that's missing to really rock the house are a dozen piranhas to add to the maudlin ambiance and possible amputation of limbs in a feeding frenzy of deranged fish.

 

We had, I have to admit some pretty sexy female impersonators along with some very manly male impersonators. An yes. Those damned ventriloquists! Horst Schiesse and Marlene thought they were the top act, but got there  collective woody in an uproar when they found out we had also hired and booked Bjorn Halliday, a Swedish ventriloquist with a gay dummy that performed fellatio on volunteers from the audience!

After a rushed three weeks rehearsing, trying out different sketches and learning the fine art of sword swallowing and fire eating, an mime routines the day had arrived for the debut performance of the Solidarity Circus we held in the small park near the Wall.

The press, arranged through the American embassy attache’ with the aid from Sydney Australia were out in full journalist force  to cover the event never guessing they would soon be covering a bust by the West German police and the arrest of the entire troupe for possible leftist sedition, extreme sexuality (the virgin and burro act!) and inciting a riot.   Exactly what we wanted. Press….ink...radio and local TV coverage for the East Germans to salivate over this small act of rebellion against capitalism. Our entry to East Berlin would then be secured.

 

I don’t know how many of you have been incarcerated before, jail or prison, but in West Germany we were put in a holding tank at first dressed in our somewhat renaissance garb, pointed shoes, clowns and midgets and mimes  that must have put the muggers, rapist dn thieves on edge in the giant cell we had to share.

 

Muggers, petty criminals, a rapist or two and one bonafide serial killer wearing only fishnets and a black teddy were not used to seeing a collective of lunatics who seemed to have fallen from weirdo heaven  or have been evicted from some deranged Mother Goose Book to planet earth.

 

It was showtime! Next gig? SRO in Eat Berlin!!!

Chapter Seven - How Sex Brought Down the Berlin Wall

 

Chapter - Seven

How Sex Brought Down the Berlin Wall

Well, OK, not exactly, but if you look at it as foreplay to its destruction you may have a political wet dream or two as only one to fuck a Commie! In 1965 in a divided Berlin, Sibyll and I and our compost pile of artists and activists saw that promiscuity and politics do make for strange if not interesting bed partners now that we were about to breach the wall and go under cover under the political covers into the vagina of East Berlin.

 

We were released on schedule by the West German and American authorities right on cue where we immediately, through the greasy slick wiles of one sydney Australia applied to bring our traveling road show across the border. We hoped they kept up on the news of our bust and would welcome us as a down and out junkie hooker welcomes a