Berlin Walls, Hipsters & Haikus by Mike Marino (best novels to read in english .TXT) 📕

customer with a soiled $50 dollar bill and no history of venereal disease!

 

East or West...Sex makes the world stay the course of its orbit, and when you do it by political leanings you’ll find the left is so much sexier than the right! Even then, on the Left there are many layers that need to be stripped away until complete nirvanic orgasm is achieved on the mental, physical and spiritual planes.

In the Solar System of Socialism a socialist will talk all the way through the act to the point of orgasm thereby ruining any mood that may have tried to surface, but on the upside they will want to include as many people under the covers to share the sexual wealth! You know, a sense of Utopian Community. So forget a threesome….you might end up with ten participants all with 10 different theories of how to achieve a sexual climax that is fair for everyone!

At the far end of the leftist spectrum, a damned anarchist (you’ll find them smoking tulips in Amsterdam) will  want to detonate and explode a device first to get in the mood and then make you read leaflets on how to screw an  in 10 easy steps. Forget masturbation...it’s all about manifestos!

 

However Comrade, do you want an erection as strong as the Berlin Wall? Do you want to cream in your bootleg jeans in the Kremlin? Then head on back to the USSR! Those Moscow Girls will knock you out.

 

Das Kapital is not exactly the Kama Sutra and the ABC’s of the KGB do not add up to a capitalistic romp under the hammer and sickle bed covers. You could have a go with a a steamy Socialist,  but a Red Square vagina from the Volga will out perform a Democratic Socialist every time.

 

Now as for a West German capitalist babe, she will by her very nature want to charge you...after all it is a pay as you go charge it economic mantra as you try to occupy  her pubic region, but you’ll need a permit first.
The Communist lover on the other hand does it for the party, so party on! Your hammer and her sickle can make sex one of the most exciting experiences since East Germans tried to jump the Berlin Wall to freedom.

 

The Communist girl will also use protection..red star sponges of course to block the little infiltrators from scoring a hit in the Motherland. Sometimes she will not use protection and will let the little sperm defect to the other side.
She’d give Lenin a hard-on as he lay in state  while you try to find her G spot tucked away in her Red Square..so if your tremblin’ for sex in the Kremlin...you may find a willing Commie in a closet..but until then you’ll have to find red star gold star vaginas in Vietnam….North Korea...China...or Cuba...oh...or Madison, Wisconsin...Sex Workers of the World..UNITE! The next time you run into a commie bombshell..don’t say Fuck You….say it loud and say it proud...FUCK ME!!!

 

Grab your rubbers East Berlin….we’re coming in!

Chapter Eight - Checkpoint Charlie

 

Chapter - Eight

Checkpoint Charlie

Paris in the spring, romance and art over easy on the Left Bank….Rome, the romantic capital of Italian amore with the Coliseum for a gladiatorial backdrop…. London, Romantic pubs and royal castles to seduce the senses and bring about a feeling of fair maidens in distress wearing chastity belts romping around the knights of the round table during the gilded   age of Chivalry…As robin Hood saidin the Nottingham Massage and Hot Tub Parlor…”Wo made Marion?”

 

Now let’s examine East Berlin. If cinder block chic excites your Ukraine, then Checkpoint Charlie, is the gateway to  all the romance of a roll of coarse Soviet toilet paper made of recycled Brillo pads. Ominous and forbidding for anyone in the Western sector of the city seeking to the enter the Ninth Gate of proletarian lunacy!

 

Checkpoint Charlie was a Soviet erection (do Soviets get erections?) built by  communist East Germany to prevent its citizens from fleeing to the democratic West. While it was only one of several crossings in and around Berlin—there was also a Checkpoint Alpha and Bravo—Charlie was notable for its location on Friedrichstrasse, a historic street in the American-occupied city center.

 

The United States, France and Britain stationed military police at Checkpoint Charlie to ensure their officials had ready access to the border. The Allied guards spent most of their time monitoring diplomatic and military traffic, but they were also on hand to register and provide information to travelers before they ventured beyond the Wall. Even if we were merely  a motley assortment of anarchistic clowns, mimes and jugglers with a penchant for politics and nudity.

 

We had our permits to perform behind the Wall and all our documents were approved by both sides.  

 

The East German authorities scrutinized us with a wary eye and fingers lovingly cradling automatic weapons ready in case one of the mimes went psycho.

 

Unknown to us prior is that we were to be assigned two “guides” who were also circus performers at one time. “Guide” in East German is “guard” to make sure we didn’t venture off the beaten path to steal state secrets.

 

There was Klaus Hanover who was dressed as a gay diva from the planet Mars...probably the Eastern Sector of the angry Kremlin red planet!

 

Definitely a strange Bavarian Rigoletto being..faster than a speeding falsetto who looks like he just stepped out of a flamboyant flying saucer cabaret with a cadre of gay aliens and bi-sexual bi-pods. All I could think was damn!  He’s one hell of a flaming bizarre Bavarian version of the the Mikado meets Hermann Goering in eyeliner in a Berlin Bunker. It's "The Day the Earth Stood Still" with Major Tom screaming at ground control . It's Queer Eye for the Space Guy!

 

He also camped up the amps in the a production of Wagner's "Das Rheingold" at a place called, appropriately, the Ridiculous Theater Company. ...he was of course the Rheinmaiden and the Wood Bird, not to be confused with Woody Woodpecker. In time his flouncing around on stage in costume wearing ass hugging spacesuits, capes and sang 19th Century operatic tunes. The big kick finish to his  show on stage in those days was a collision of strobe lights & smoke bombs.

Sibyll was enjoying a quiet internal laugh as she knew I had to make him a part of the troupe if we wanted to get to the agents inside and drop our spy load at the same time. She also enjoyed my discomfort as the lipsticked Klaus Hanover who was one of those touchy feely sorts kept grabbing my hand as if to say “until death do us part”!

 

Then it was my turn! The other “guide” was a quite buxom blond whose chest size alone could have been V-2 rockets ready to launch and join the Battle of Britain all over again.

 

  Helene was the epitome of the German  Girl of the Sixties and had in recent years  "come out" of the closet and prided herself on getting down and dirty with all three genders...not sure if there is a third one but if there were...she’d find it and seduce it before breakfast was over.

 

“Well, Sibyll. Looks to be either competition or a gift from heaven for you,” I laughed.

 

Her response? Typical Sibyll. “Lets both get her up on the rack and give her  a full gynecological examine.”

 

Later we did enjoy a romp with her on her terms  and discovered she does not have a prolific forest of pubic hair or a vaginal crater for a Cosmonaut  to land his moon rover with rocket boosters to explore her south of the navel border region or her full moon!

 

Before it was fashionable she  was as clean shaven and waxed as a fresh polished apple. She had that bikini wax appearance which is inviting, almost every woman I've been with has something of a coonskin cap topping the region where there is sexual fire in the hole. Either way..it works wonders for me. Besides it beats masturbation where a bird in the hand is no match for one in the bush!


We found later in her dossier that she  had a dark past of debauchery and prostitution that proliferated in post-war Germany.

She was a hooker who specialized in servicing rich German men.. She was German Expressionist Film Noir all rolled into one  package and was indeed a fantastic lover...if you're into threesomes or foursomes.

Inflatables don't count in this discourse. She  gave new meaning to the term "toy box" and her box meant business and she would phuck for a fist full of pfennings.



She talked about sex and nudity.  So OK she wasn’t exactly Little Orphan Annie or Little Lulu..in fact Lilli had big lulu's! She wore two piece bathing suits while Strasse Strolling   so was well ahead of the beach blanket bingo crowd showing plenty of flesh for all those wearing raincoats in summer and engage in strange behaviour while looking up a catholic school girl dolls' plaid dress  as a contact sport.

Oh hell, this is Germany after all the birthplace of anything goes hetero-homosexual cabaret, Marlene Dietrich and Fritz Lang  films from the island of German Gothic Expressionism!

She was blonde and aryan...Nordic and ponytailed and  yes, she was bikini waxed in her Berlin bunker region so that was the first pubic Iron Curtain to be removed before the Wall came tumbling down in the 80's.

She and Klaus were now part of our circus troupe and as for Helene..,. If they held a casting contest for a super nymphette and a Danish girl won the coveted roll. I’d be surprised. I haven't had a good Danish in awhile now...Swedes are tasty too..but gimme a German over easy and it's bratwurst time in the bordello!!!

Chapter Nine - SRO In East Berliin

 

Chapter - Nine

SRO in East Berlin

The East German police watched our cabaret/circus troupe  penetrate the Soviet sectors vagina with a look that screamed “Where’s Siberia when you need it?” Siberia has a plethora of political prisoners, but nary a mime to work the mines. Sibyll, smiled her radiant best smile and in her native German bade them a “Guten Morgen und Grüße von Ihren Kameraden im Westen!” or Good morning and greetings from your comrades in the West! Good choice of words, Sibyll. Comrades. They can identify with that. Good touch!”

 

She smiled and nodded as we continued walking leading the procession of sideshow freaks and geeks to our lodging in one