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peace and admiration.
‘Do you feel guilty like I do?’ she whispers to him, stroking his chest.
‘I feel amazing,’ he breathes and releases a little laugh. She looks up at him.
‘I’m being serious’ she frowns. ‘I mean sure, Eliza being gone means no sneaking around, but she’s my best friend. If she dies not knowing, I’ll never live with myself’.
‘She’s not going to die,’ he responds, stepping out of her net.
‘But... she might Jams,’
‘She won’t’ Jamie growls and Lisa steps away. He sighs, grabs for her and takes her back in his arms. Placing his lips to the top of her mousy head he whispers ‘She can’t’.
The two are walking away now, hand in hand, their arms swinging in sync, laughing playfully at one another’s jokes- all traces of seriousness gone- me forgotten. Lewis doesn’t move though, and neither do I. We are both still plastered still, and If I were a real body right now, you’d probably describe my face as a sheet of greying newspaper. My mother always said that when I were to see something I wish I had not; that I should simply pretend I never saw it. But it wasn’t quite that simple. Not when you felt like the two people protecting your heart had actually torn it from you and began shredding it, oozing out blood until you were literally a newspaper shade of gray. I’ve never understood until now, that Carol Ann Duffy, and Miss Havisham couldn’t be more right. It is more than just the heart that b-b-b-breaks. You mind feels frazzled too, the head hurts, your bones ache, your tongue is iced with pain, your self esteem demolished. I feel scared, alone, angry- and there’s nothing I can do about it. Not in here. I can’t go let my despair out at my betrayers. My body’s in a coma- Unable to move, to speak, to function. But I’m functioning in here all right. My brain knows exactly what I think. It understands how I should feel. I just can’t bloody act on it.
Having nearly forgotten as to who I were trapped with, I was suddenly reminded with a deep agonised sigh. Lewis had appeared to of climbed up on to the wall where Lisa and Jamie had been leant against; and was now sitting there, swinging his feet, trying to make them scrape the ground just as a child does the first time he or she gets on a swing alone. He swings his backpack off his shoulders and slugs it on his lap. Steadily he undoes the zip and takes his phone from the front pouch. He punches in the numbers robotically, and I recognise the number with ease. It’s my home phone. I wonder why he’s ringing there, but don’t dwell on it too much- I’ll soon find out. Five b-ring-rings and my sister picks up.
‘Hiya, Charlie here,’ she says groggily. She’s been crying.
‘Hey, it’s Lewis,’
‘Oh, Hi, are you still up the hospital?’
‘No, I’m not. Did your mum pick you and your dad up in the end? Or did she stay up there?’
‘She picked us up after you spoke with the doctor. What are we going to do Lewis?’ Suddenly, she breaks out in heavy sobs and through the phone we can hear the sound of her blowing her nose and moaning at the sticky mess of the tissue. She’s a clean freak. Has to be said.
‘I know. It’s... indescribably horrible Charlie. I know it is. But, you need to chanel your emotion somewhere else.’ Lewis pauses, hesitating. ‘Somewhere that will I think she’d want you to.’ The words are slow, but sure, and I can feel the corners of my mouth perking up a little bit. Somehow, my mind and Lewis’ are really on par. He wants revenge as much as I do, and has apparently come up with a clever way of achieving it. Plan sister.
‘What do you mean?’ Charlie sniffs.
‘I’ve got something to tell you, and your not going to like it,’
‘What?’
‘I’m not going to say remain calm or any of that rubbish, I want you to knock him out, just... don’t shoot the messenger, ok?’
‘What’s going on Lew? Just tell me?’
‘Just promise it won’t be me you’ll kill?’
‘I promise, I promise!’ She yells, agitated, impatient.
‘Jamie’s been cheating on Eliza. Before the accident,’ The sentence leaves silence. Lewis knows to say nothing else, and Charlie is most likely gripping the phone so tight and breathing so heavily her knuckles have turned white. She’s the protective sister type. Hurt-her-and-you’ll-have-no-balls-type.
‘What?’ She spits. ‘Tell me your kidding,’
‘I’m not. We’ve just seen them, kissing, not just a peck on the lips, full frontal,’
‘No!’ Charlie gasps, and you can hear the sound of a foot tapping down the line. ‘Wait,’ she says and the tapping ceases. ‘Did you say we?’
‘Yeah, me and... ‘ Silence. My mouth gapes open. He knows I’m here. He knows. But he can’t explain it, can’t know for sure? ‘Oh, wait, sorry, no, it was just me. I saw them on my way home from the hospital.’
‘Who was the bitch that thought it was ok to rub up against my sister’s man?’
‘This is the bit your not going to like,’
‘Well I’m not liking any of it so far,’ She hisses.
‘It’s...’
‘Who, who is it god damn?!’
‘Lisa,’
‘Lisa who?’ she demands, sounding furious already.
‘Lisa Payne,’ Me and Lewis both whisper, and both our heads whip up. We connected then. He knows it, I know it.
‘Lisa Payne?’ Charlie sounds shaken, and then erupts in anger. ‘HOW THE HELL DARE SHE? ALL HER LIFE MY SISTER TREATED HER WELL, ALL HER LIFE SHE’S HELD HER HAND, BEEN HER FRIEND, LOOKED AFTER H...’
‘CHARLIE!’ Lewis shouts to interrupt. ‘Don’t take it out on the mic. Go find them. She can’t have a go at them like she would if she knew. You can. They were heading to his house when I saw them last. If you take a short cut you’ll arrive just in time to corner them. Rip their guts out Charlie. Then ring me for a description.’ With that, he stamps the ‘end call button’ and a bleep finishes the conversation. I feel myself smiling, and I’m sure Lewis is too- both of us smugly satisfied. When my sister is angry, she goes mental. Whenever someone hurts me, she goes mental. She’s been cheated on before, had run inns with friends before- and gone mental. Combine those things- she could be in a court trial for murder by tomorrow morning.


Chapter 4
My sister didn’t quite decapitate Jamie and Lisa. But apparently, Jamie can no longer have children and Lisa is going to have a reputation for racoon like make-up thanks to the black eyes she’s been given. That’s what Charlie told Lewis on the phone that night as she pressed a cool pack to her bruised knuckles. ‘Worth it,’ she’d said. I know I’ll owe her for this- even if not in this life, than the next. Maybe in the next I’ll screw over one of her ex boyfriends. Break their heart.


Imprint

Publication Date: 03-26-2011

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
For my best friend- Joanna Madden. Who I always had the boy chats with and could tell anything going on in MY mind.

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