Joan Haste by H. Rider Haggard (ereader manga .txt) 📕
She might have spared herself the trouble, for even as she sighed and sought, a sha
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sort of person for you to make a companion of.”
“I don’t know about that, father. I should say that she was quite my
equal, if not my superior, except that I have been a little better
educated.”
“Well, well, perhaps so, Emma; but I should prefer that you did not
become too intimate with her.”
“There is no need to fear that, father, as she is going away from
Bradmouth.”
“Oh! she told you that she was leaving here, did she? And what else
did she tell you?”
“A good deal about herself. Of course I knew something of her story
before; but I did not know that she felt her position so bitterly.
Poor girl! she has been cruelly treated.”
“I really fail to see it, Emma. Considering the unfortunate
circumstances connected with her, it seems to me that she has been
very well treated.”
“I don’t think so, father, and you only believe it because you are not
a woman and do not understand. Suppose, now, that I, your daughter
whom you are fond of, were in her place to-day, without a friend or
home, feeling myself a lady and yet obliged to mix with rough people
and to be the mark of their sneers, jealousy and evil-speaking, should
you say that I was well treated? Suppose that I was going to-morrow to
be thrown, without help or experience, on to the world to earn my
bread there, should you–-”
“I absolutely decline to suppose anything of the sort, Emma,” he
answered passionately. “Bother the girl! Why does she put such ideas
into your head?”
“Really, father,” she said, opening her eyes wide, “there is no need
for you to get angry with Joan Haste, especially as she told me that
you had always been kind to her.”
“I am not angry, Emma, but one way and another that girl gives me more
trouble than enough. She might make a very good marriage, and settle
herself in life out of reach of all these disagreeables, about which
she seems to have been whining to you, but she is so pig-headed that
she won’t.”
“But surely, father, you wouldn’t expect her to marry a man she
doesn’t like, would you? Why, I have heard you say that you thought it
better that a woman should never be born than that she should be
forced into a distasteful marriage.”
“Circumstances alter cases, and certainly it would have been better if
she had never been born,” answered Mr. Levinger, who seemed quite
beside himself with irritation. “However, there it is: she won’t
marry, she won’t do anything except bring trouble upon others with her
confounded beauty, and make herself the object of scandal.”
“I think that it is time for me to go and dress,” said Emma coldly.
“I forgot, my dear; I should not have spoken of that before you, but
really I feel quite unhinged to-night. I suppose that you have no idea
of what I am alluding to, but if not you soon will have, for some kind
friend is sure to tell you.”
“I—have an idea, father.”
“Very well. Then I may as well tell you that it is all nonsense.”
“I am not sure that it is all nonsense,” she answered, in the same
restrained voice; “but whether it is nonsense or no, it has nothing to
do with me.”
“Nothing to do with you, Emma! Do you mean that? Listen, my love:
these are delicate matters, but if any one may speak to a woman about
them, her father may. Do you remember that nearly two years ago, when
you were more intimate and open with me than you are now, Emma, you
told me that Henry Graves had—well, taken your fancy?”
“I remember. I told you because I did not think it likely that I
should meet him again, and because you said something to me about
marrying, and I wished to put a stop to the idea.”
“Yes, I quite understand; but I gathered from what took place the
other day, when poor Graves was so ill, that you still entertain an
affection for him.”
“Oh! pray do not speak of that,” she murmured; “I cannot bear it even
from you; it covers me with shame. I was mad, and you should have paid
no attention to it.”
“I am sorry to give you pain or to press you, Emma, but I should be
deeply grateful if you would make matters a little clearer. Never mind
about Henry Graves and his attitude towards you: I want to understand
yours towards him. As you know, or if you do not know I beg you to
believe it, your happiness is the chief object of my life, and to
secure that happiness to you I have planned and striven for years.
What I wish to learn now is: do you desire to have done with Henry
Graves? If so, tell me at once. It will be a great blow to me, for he
is the man of all others to whom, for many reasons, I should like to
see you married, and doubtless if matters are left alone he will marry
you. But in this affair your wish is my law, and if you would prefer
it I will wind up the mortgage business, cut the connection to-morrow,
and then we can travel for a year in Egypt, or wherever you like.
Sometimes I think that this would be the best course. But it is for
you to choose, not for me. You are a woman full grown, and must know
your own mind. Now, Emma.”
“What do you mean by winding up the mortgage business, father?”
“Oh! the Graves’s owe us some fifty or sixty thousand pounds, and it
is not a paying investment, that is all. But don’t you bother about
that, Emma: confine yourself to the personal aspect of the question,
please.”
“It is very hard to have to decide so quickly. Can I not give you an
answer in a few days, father?”
“No, Emma, you can’t. I will not be kept halting between two opinions
any longer. I want to know what line to take at once.”
“Well, then, on the whole I think that perhaps you had better not
‘wind up the business.’ I very much doubt if anything will come of
this. I am by no means certain that I wish anything to come of it, but
we will let it remain open.”
“In making that answer, Emma, I suppose that you are bearing in mind
that, though I believe it to be all nonsense, the fact is not to be
concealed that there is some talk about Graves and Joan Haste.”
“I am bearing it in mind, father. The talk has nothing to do with me.
I do not wish to know even whether it is false or true, at any rate at
present. True or false, there will be an end of it now, as the girl is
going away. I hope that I have made myself clear. I understand that,
for reasons of your own, you are very anxious that I should marry Sir
Henry Graves, should it come in my way to do so; and I know that his
family desire this also, because it would be a road out of their money
difficulties. What Sir Henry wishes himself I do not know, nor can I
say what I wish. But I think that if I stood alone, and had only
myself to consider, I should never see him again. Still I say, let it
remain open, although I decline to bind myself to anything definite.
And now I must really go and dress.”
“I do not know that I am much ‘for’arder,’ after all, as Samuel Rock
says,” thought Mr. Levinger, looking after her. “Oh, Joan Haste! you
have a deal to answer for.” Then he also went to dress.
The two interviews in which Emma had taken part this afternoon—that
with Joan and that with her father—had, as it were, unsealed her eyes
and opened her ears. Now she saw the significance of many a hint of
Ellen’s and her father’s which hitherto had conveyed no meaning to
her, and now she understood what it was that occasioned the forced
manner which had struck her as curious in Henry’s bearing towards
herself, even when he had seemed most at his ease and pleased with
her. Doubtless the knowledge that he was expected to marry a
particular girl, in order that by so doing he might release debts to
the amount of fifty thousand pounds, was calculated to cause the
manner of any man towards that girl to become harsh and suspicious,
and even to lead him to regard her with dislike. This was why he had
been forced to leave the Service, for this reason “his family had
desired his presence,” and the opening in life, the only one that
remained to him, to which he had alluded so bitterly, but
significantly enough avoided specifying, was to marry a girl with
fortune, to marry her—Emma Levinger.
It was a humiliating revelation, and though perhaps Emma had less
pride than most women, she felt it sorely. She was deeply attached to
this man; her heart had gone out to him when she first saw him, after
the unaccountable fashion that hearts sometimes affect. Still, having
learned the truth, she was quite in earnest when she told her father
that, were she alone concerned, she would meet him no more. But she
was not alone in the matter, and it was this knowledge that made her
pause. To begin with, there was Henry himself to be considered, for it
seemed that if he did not marry her he would be ruined or something
very like it; and, regarding him as she did, it became a question
whether she ought not to outrage her pride in order to save him if he
would be saved. Also she knew that her father wished for this marriage
above all things—that it was, indeed, one of the chief objects of his
life; though it was true that in an inexplicable fit of irritation
with everything and everybody, he had but now offered to bring the
affair to nothing. Why he should be so set upon it she could not
understand, any more than she could understand why he should have been
so vexed when she illustrated her sense of the hardship of Joan’s
position by supposing herself to be similarly placed. These were some
of the mysteries by which their life was surrounded, mysteries that
seemed to thicken daily. After what she had seen and heard this
afternoon she began to believe that Joan Haste herself was another of
them. Joan had told her that her father had always been kind to her.
Taken by itself there was nothing strange about this, for Emma knew
him to be charitable to many people, but it was strange that he should
have practically denied all knowledge of the girl some few weeks
before. Perhaps he knew more about her than he chose to say—even who
she was and where she came from.
Now it appeared that her presentiment was coming true, and that Joan
herself was playing some obscure and undefined part in the romance or
intrigue in which she, Emma, was the principal though innocent actor.
In effect, Joan had given her to understand that she was in love with
Henry, and yet she had implored her to marry Henry. Why, if Joan was
in love with him, should she desire another woman to marry him? It was
positively bewildering, also it
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