Huckleberry Finn by Dave Mckay, Mark Twain (recommended books to read TXT) 📕

He weren’t a boy to walk shyly up the yard like a sheep; no, he come relaxed and important, and when he got in front of us he lifts his hat ever so nicely, like it was the top of a box that had butterflies asleep in it and he didn’t want to wake them, and says: “Mr. Archibald Nichols, is that right?”

“No, my boy,” says the old man, “Nichols’s place is down the road three miles more. Come in, come in.”

Tom he took a look back over his shoulder, and says, “Too late -- can’t even see him.”

“Yes, he’s gone, son. You must come in and eat your dinner with us; and then we’ll take you down to Nichols’s.”

“Oh, I can’t make you so much trouble; I couldn’t think of it. I’ll walk -- it’s no problem.”

“But we won’t let you walk -- it wouldn’t be right to do that. Come on in.”

“Oh, do,” says Aunt Sally; “it ain’t no trouble to us, no trouble at all. You must stay. It’s a long, dirty three mile, and we can’t let you walk. And, besides, I’ve already told ‘em to put on another plate when I seen you coming; so you mustn’t let us down. Come right in and make yourself at home.”

So Tom he thanked them very warmly and beautifully, and let himself be talked into coming in; and when he was in he said he was a stranger from Hicksville, Ohio, and his name was William Thompson -- and he made another bow.

Well, he run on, and on, and on, making up things about Hicksville and everybody in it he could make up, and I was getting a little worried, and thinking how was this going to help me out of my troubles; and at last, still talking along, he reached over and kissed Aunt Sally right on the mouth, and then sat back again in his chair comfortable, and was going on talking; but she jumped up and rubbed it off with the back of her hand, and says: “You dirty dog!”

He looked kind of hurt, and says: “I’m surprised at you, ma’am.”

“You’re surpri -- Why, what do you think I am? I should take and -- Say, what do you mean by kissing me?”

He looked kind of humble, and says: “I didn’t mean nothing, ma’am. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I -- I -- thought you’d like it.”

“Was you born crazy!” She took up a stick from the spinning-wheel, and it looked like it was all she could do to keep from giving him a hit with it. “What made you think I’d like it?”

“Well, I don’t know. Only, they -- they -- told me you would.”

“They told you I would? Whoever told you is another crazy person. I never heard anything like it. Who’s they?”

“Why, everybody. They all said so, ma’am.”

It was all she could do to hold in. Her eyes showed anger, and her fingers worked like she wanted to scratch him; and she says: “Who’s ‘everybody’? Out with their names, or there’ll be one less crazy person when I finish with you.”

He got up and looked worried, and played with his hat, and says: “I’m sorry, I weren’t thinking you would take it that way. They all said, kiss her; and said she’d like it -- every one of them. But I’m sorry, ma’am, and I won’t do it no more -- honest.”

“You won’t, won’t you? Well, I should think you won’t!”

“No ma’am, I’m honest about it; I won’t ever do it again -- until you ask me.”

“Until I ask! Well, I never seen anything like it in all my days!”

“Well,” he says, “it does surprise me so. I can’t make it out. They said you would, and I thought you would. But -- “ He stopped and looked around slow, like he wished he could find a friendly eye somewhere, and finished up on the old man’s, and says, “Didn’t you think she’d like me to kiss her, sir?”

“Why, no; I -- I -- well, no, I believe I didn’t.”

Then he looks on around the same way to me, and says: “Tom, didn’t you think Aunt Sally would open out her arms and say, ‘Sid Sawyer, my boy -- ‘”

“My land!” she says, breaking in and jumping for him, “you little devil, to trick a body so.“ She was going to hug him, but he pushed her back, and says: “Not until you’ve asked me first.”

So she didn’t lose no time, but asked him; and hugged him and kissed him over and over again, and then turned him over to the old man, and he took what was left. And after they got a little quiet again she says: “What can I say? I never seen such a surprise. We weren’t looking for you at all, but only Tom. Polly never wrote to me about anybody coming but him.”

“It’s because it weren’t planned for any of us to come but Tom,” he says; “but I begged and begged, and at the last minute she let me come, too; so, coming down the river, me and Tom thought it would be a good surprise for him to come here to the house first, and for me to by and by come along and drop in, and let on to be a stranger. But it was wrong, Aunt Sally. This ain’t no healthy place for a stranger to come.”

“No -- not bad little boys, Sid. You should of had your mouth hit; I ain’t been so put out since I don’t know when. But I don’t care -- I’d be willing to stand a thousand such jokes to have you here. Well, to think of that act! I have to say, I was almost turned to stone with surprise when you give me that kiss.”

We had dinner out in that wide open walk way between the house and the kitchen; and there was things enough on that table for seven families -- and all hot, too; none of your rubber meat that’s laid on a shelf in a wet room under the house all night and tastes like a piece of an old cold body in the morning. Uncle Silas he asked a pretty long blessing over it, but it was worth it; and it didn’t cool it at all, either, the way I’ve seen them kind of prayers do lots of times.

There was a lot of talk all the afternoon, and me and Tom was watching all the time; but it weren’t no use, they didn’t happen to say nothing about any runaway slave, and we was afraid to try to work up to it. But at the table, that night, one of the little boys says: “Pa, can Tom and Sid and me go to the show?”

“No,” says the old man, “There ain’t going to be any; and you couldn’t go if there was. That runaway slave told Burton and me all about the show, and Burton said he'd tell the others. They've probably run those snakes out of town by now.”

So there it was! -- but I couldn’t help it. Tom and me was to sleep in the same room and bed; so, being tired, we said good-night and went up to bed right after eating, and climbed out of the window and down the lightning-rod, and headed for the town; for I didn’t believe anyone was going to tell the king and the duke what was up, and so if I didn’t hurry up and tell them they’d get into big trouble for sure.

On the road Tom told me all about how it was believed I was killed, and how pap was gone pretty soon after, and didn’t come back, and what talk there was when Jim run away; and I told Tom all about our Kings Foolishness devils, and as much of the raft trip as I had time to; and as we come into the town and up through the street -- here come an angry crowd of people with torches, and an awful noise of shouting and banging tin pans and blowing horns; and we jumped to one side to let them go by; and as they went by I see they had the king and the duke sitting on a log -- that is, I knowed it was the king and the duke, but they was all over tar and feathers, and didn’t look like nothing in the world that was a living person -- just looked like two giant feathers. Well, it made me sick to see it; and I was sorry for them poor devils, it seemed like I couldn’t ever feel anything bad against them any more in the world. It was an awful thing to see. People can be awful cruel to one another.

We seen we was too late -- couldn’t do no good. We asked some people about it, and they said everybody went to the show looking like nothing was wrong; and stayed that way until the poor old king was in the middle of his foolishness on the stage; then someone give a sign, and the house jumped up and went for them.

So we went slowly back home, and I weren’t feeling so good as I was before, but kind of bad, and humble, and to blame. I knew that I hadn’t done nothing, but that’s always the way; it don’t make no difference if you do right or wrong, a person’s conscience ain’t got no reason, and just goes for him any way it can. If I had a yellow dog that didn’t know no more than a person’s conscience does I would poison him. It takes up more room than all the rest of a person’s insides, and yet ain’t no good, at all. Tom Sawyer he says the same.

Chapter 34

We stopped talking, and got to thinking. By and by Tom says: “Look here, Huck, how stupid of us not to think of it be- fore! I think I know where Jim is.”

“No! Where?”

“In that little room down by the box of ashes for making soap. Why, look here. When we was at dinner, didn’t you see a servant go in there with some food?”

“Yes.”

“What did you think the food was for?”

“For a dog.”

“So did I. Well, it wasn’t for a dog.”

“Why?”

“Because part of it was watermelon.”

“So it was -- I remember now. How about that? I never thought about a dog not eating watermelon. It shows how a body can see and not see at the same time.”

“Well, the servant unlocked the lock when he went in, and he locked it again when he come out. He asked uncle for a key about the time we got up from table -- same key, I’d say. Watermelon shows it’s a man, lock shows he’s a prisoner; and it ain’t likely there’s two prisoners on such a little farm, where the people’s all so kind and good. Jim’s the prisoner, all right -- I’m glad we found it out just by using our heads; I wouldn’t give dead leaves for any other way. Now you work your mind, and study out a plan to get Jim free, and I’ll study out one, too; and we’ll take the one we like the best.”

What a head for just a boy to have! If I had Tom Sawyer’s head I wouldn’t give it up to be a duke, or a worker on a river- boat, or a clown in a circus, or nothing I can think of. I went to thinking out a plan, but only just to be doing something; I knowed very well where the right plan was going to come from. Pretty soon Tom says: “Ready?”

“Yes,” I says.

“All right -- bring it out.”

“My plan is this,” I says. “We can easy find out if it’s Jim in there. Then get up my canoe tomorrow night, and bring my raft over from the island. Then the first dark night that comes rob the key out of the old man’s pants after he goes to