Home as Found by James Fenimore Cooper (diy ebook reader txt) 📕

island. Indeed, that is an ocean in which there is a manufactory of

islands, for they turn them off in lots to supply the market, and of

a size to suit customers."

"A manufactory of islands!" repeated the commodore, who began to

entertain an awe of his companion, that he never expected to feel for

any human being on Lake Otsego; "are you certain, sir, there is no

mistake in this?"

"None in the least; not only islands, but whole Archipelagos are made

annually, by the sea insects in that quarter of the world; but, then,

you are not to form your notions of an insect in such an ocean, by

the insects you see in such a bit of water as this."

"As big as our pickerel, or salmon trout, I dare say?" returned the

commodore, in the simplicity of his heart, for by this time his local

and exclusive conceit was thoroughly humbled, and he was almost ready

to believe any thing.

"I say nothing of their size, for it is to their numbers and industry

that I principally allude now. A solitary shark, I dare say, would

set your whole Lake in commotion?"

"I think we might manage a shark, sir. I once saw one of those

animals, and I do really believe the sogdollager would outweigh him.

I do think we might manage a shark, sir."

"Ay, you mean an in-shore, high-latitude fellow. But what would you

say to a shark as long as one of those pines on the mountain?"

"Such a monster would take in a man, whole?"

"A man! He would take in a platoon, Indian file I dare say one of

those pines, now, may be thirty or forty feet high!"

A gleam of intelligence and of exultation shot across the weather-

beaten face of the old fisherman, for he detected a weak spot in the

other's knowledge. The worthy Captain, with that species of

exclusiveness which accompanies excellence in any one thing, was

quite ignorant of most matters that pertain to the land. That there

should be a tree, so far inland, that was larger than his main-yard,

he did not think probable, although that yard itself was made of part

of a tree; and, in the laudable intention of duly impressing his

companion with the superiority of a real seaman over a mere fresh-

water navigator, he had inadvertently laid bare a weak spot in his

estimate of heights and distances, that the Commodore seized upon,

with some such avidity as the pike seizes the hook. This accidental

mistake alone saved the latter from an abject submission, for the

cool superiority of the Captain had so far deprived him of his

conceit, that he was almost ready to acknowledge himself no better

than a dog, when he caught a glimpse of light through this opening.

"There is not a pine, that can be called of age, on all the mountain,

which is not more than a hundred feet high, and many are nearer two,"

he cried in exultation, flourishing his hand. "The sea may have its

big monsters, Captain, but our hills have their big trees. Did you

ever see a shark of half that length?"

Now, Captain Truck was a man of truth, although so much given to

occasional humorous violations of its laws, and, withal, a little

disposed to dwell upon the marvels of the great deep, in the spirit

of exaggeration, and he could not, in conscience, affirm any thing so

extravagant as this. He was accordingly obliged to admit his mistake,

and from this moment, the conversation was carried on with a greater

regard to equality. They talked, as they fished, of politics,

religion, philosophy, human nature, the useful arts, abolition, and

most other subjects that would be likely to interest a couple of

Americans who had nothing to do but to twitch, from time to time, at

two lines dangling in the water. Although few people possess less of

the art of conversation than our own countrymen, no other nation

takes as wide a range in its discussions. He is but a very

indifferent American that does not know, or thinks he knows, a little

of every thing, and neither of our worthies was in the least backward

in supporting the claims of the national character in this respect.

This general discussion completely restored amity between the

parties; for, to confess the truth, our old friend the Captain was a

little rebuked about the affair of the tree. The only peculiarity

worthy of notice, that occurred in the course of their various

digressions, was the fact, that the commodore insensibly began to

style his companion "General;" the courtesy of the country in his

eyes, appearing to require that a man who has seen so much more than

himself, should, at least, enjoy a title equal to his own in rank,

and that of Admiral being proscribed by the sensitiveness of

republican principles. After fishing a few hours, the old laker

pulled the skiff up to the Point so often mentioned, where he Lighted

a fire on the grass, and prepared a dinner. When every thing was

ready, the two seated themselves, and began to enjoy the fruits of

their labours in a way that will be understood by all sportsmen.

"I have never thought of asking you, general," said the commodore, as

he began to masticate a perch, "whether you are an aristocrat or a

democrat. We have had the government pretty much upside-down, too,

this morning, but this question has escaped me."

"As we are here by ourselves under these venerable oaks, and talking

like two old messmates," returned the general, "I shall just own the

truth, and make no bones of it. I have been captain of my own ship so

long, that I have a most thorough contempt for all equality. It is a

vice that I deprecate, and, whatever may be the laws of this country,

I am of opinion, that equality is no where borne out by the Law of

Nations; which, after all, commodore, is the only true law for a

gentleman to live under."

"That is the law of the strongest, if I understand the matter,

general."

"Only reduced to rules. The Law of Nations, to own the truth to you,

is full of categories, and this will give an enterprising man an

opportunity to make use of his knowledge. Would you believe,

commodore, that there are countries, in which they lay taxes on

tobacco?"

"Taxes on tobacco! Sir, I never heard of such an act of oppression

under the forms of law! What has tobacco done, that any one should

think of taxing it?"

"I believe, commodore, that its greatest offence is being so general

a favourite. Taxation, I have found, differs from most other things,

generally attacking that which men most prize."

"This is quite new to me, general; a tax on tobacco. The law-makers

in those countries cannot chew. I drink to your good health, sir, and

to many happy returns of such banquets as this."

Here the commodore raised a large silver punch-bowl, which Pierre had

furnished, to his lips, and fastening his eyes on the boughs of a

knarled oak, he looked like a man who was taking an observation, for

near a minute. All this time, the captain regarded him with a

sympathetic pleasure, and when the bowl was free, he imitated the

example, levelling his own eye at a cloud, that seemed floating at an

angle of forty-five degrees above him, expressly for that purpose.

"There is a lazy cloud!" exclaimed the general, as he let go his hold

to catch breath; "I have been watching it some time, and it has not

moved an inch."

"Tobacco!" repeated the commodore, drawing a long breath, as if he

was just recovering the play of his lungs, "I should as soon think of

laying a tax on punch. The country that pursues such a policy must,

sooner or later, meet with a downfall. I never knew good come of

persecution."

"I find you are a sensible man, commodore, and regret I did not make

your acquaintance earlier in life. Have you yet made up your mind on

the subject of religious faith?"

"Why, my dear general, not to be nibbling like a sucker with a sore

mouth, with a person of your liberality, I shall give you a plain

history of my adventures, in the way of experiences, that you may

judge for yourself. I was born an Episcopalian, if one can say so,

but was converted to Presbyterianism at twenty. I stuck to this

denomination about five years, when I thought I would try the

Baptists, having got to be fond of the water, by this time. At

thirty-two I fished a while with the Methodists; since which

conversion, I have chosen to worship God pretty much by myself, out

here on the lake."

"Do you consider it any harm, to hook a fish of a Sunday?"

"No more than it is to eat a fish of a Sunday. I go altogether by

faith, in my religion, general, for they talked so much to me of the

uselessness of works, that I've got to be very unparticular as to

what I do. Your people who have been converted four or five times,

are like so many pickerel, which strike at every hook."

"This is very much my case. Now, on the river--of course you know

where the river is?"

"Certain," said the commodore; "it is at the foot of the lake."

"My dear commodore, when we say 'the river,' we always mean the

Connecticut; and I am surprised a man of your sagacity should require

to be told this. There are people on the river who contend that a

ship should heave-to of a Sunday. They did talk of getting up an

Anti-Sunday-Sailing-Society, but the ship-masters were too many for

them, since they threatened to start a society to put down the

growing of inyens, (the captain would sometimes use this

pronunciation) except of week-days. Well, I started in life, on the

platform tack, in the way of religion, and I believe I shall stand on

the same course till orders come to 'cast anchor,' as you call it.

With you, I hold out for faith, as the one thing needful. Pray, my

good friend, what are your real sentiments concerning 'Old Hickory.'

"Tough, sir;--Tough as a day in February on this lake. All fins, and

gills, and bones."

"That is the justest character I have yet heard of the old gentleman;

and then it says so much in a few words; no category about it. I hope

the punch is to your liking?"

On this hint the old fisherman raised the bowl a second time to his

lips, and renewed the agreeable duty of letting its contents flow

down his throat, in a pleasant stream. This time, he took aim at a

gull that was sailing over his head, only relinquishing the draught

as the bird settled into the water. The 'general' was more

particular; for selecting a stationary object, in the top of an oak,

that grew on the mountain near him, he studied it with an admirable

abstruseness of attention, until the last drop was drained. As soon

as this startling fact was mentioned, however, both the _convives_

set about repairing the accident, by squeezing lemons, sweetening

water, and mixing liquors, _secundem artem._ At the same time, each

lighted a cigar, and the conversation, for some time, was carried on

between their teeth.

"We have been so frank with each other to-day, my excellent

commodore," said Captain Truck, "that did I know your true sentiments

concerning Temperance Societies, I should look on your inmost soul as

a part of myself. By these free communications men get really to know

each other."

"If liquor is not made to be drunk, for what is it made? Any one may

see that this lake was made for skiffs and fishing; it has a length,

breadth, and depth suited to such purposes. Now, here is liquor

distilled, bottled, and corked, and I ask if all does not show that

it was made to be drunk. I dare say your temperance men are

ingenious, but let them answer that if they can."

"I wish, from my heart, my dear sir, we had known each other fifty

years since. That would have brought you acquainted with salt-water,

and left nothing to be desired in your character. We think alike, I

believe, in every thing but on the virtues of fresh-water. If these

temperance people had their way, we should all be turned into so many

Turks, who never taste wine, and yet marry a dozen wives."

"One of the great merits of fresh-water, general, is what I call its

mixable quality."

"There would be an end to Saturday nights, too, which are the

seamen's tea-parties."

"I question if many of them fish in the rain, from sunrise to

sunset."

"Or, stand their watches in wet pee-jackets, from sunset to sunrise.

Splicing the main brace at such times, is the very quintessence