Home as Found by James Fenimore Cooper (diy ebook reader txt) 📕

human enjoyments."

"If liquors were not made to be drunk," put in the commodore,

logically, "I would again ask for what are they made? Let the

temperance men get over that difficulty if they can."

"Commodore, I wish you twenty more good hearty years of fishing in

this lake, which grows, each instant, more beautiful in my eyes, as I

confess does the whole earth; and to show you that I say no more than

I think, I will clench it with a draught."

Captain Truck now brought his right eye to bear on the new moon,

which happened to be at a convenient height, closed the left one, and

continued in that attitude until the commodore began seriously to

think he was to get nothing besides, the lemon-seeds for his share.

This apprehension, however, could only arise from ignorance of his

companion's character, than whom a juster man, according to the

notions of ship-masters, did not live; and had one measured the punch

that was left in the bowl when this draught was ended, he would have

found that precisely one half of it was still untouched, to a

thimblefull. The commodore now had his turn; and before he got

through, the bottom of the vessel was as much uppermost as the butt

of a club bed firelock. When the honest fisherman took breath after

this exploit, and lowered his cup from the vault of heaven to the

surface of the earth, he caught a view of a boat crossing the lake,

coming from the Silent Pine, to that Point on which they were

enjoying so many agreeable hallucinations on the subject of

temperance.

"Yonder is the party from the Wigwam," he said, "and they will be

just in time to become converts to our opinions, if they have any

doubts on the subjects we have discussed. Shall we give up the ground

to them, by taking to the skiff, or do you feel disposed to face the

women?"

"Under ordinary circumstances, commodore, I should prefer your

society to all the petticoats in the State, but there are two ladies

in that party, either of whom I would marry, any day, at a minute's

warning."

"Sir," said the commodore with a tone of warning, "we, who have lived

bachelors so long, and are wedded to the water, ought never to speak

lightly on so grave a subject."

"Nor do I. Two women, one of whom is twenty, and the other seventy--

and hang me if I know which I prefer."

"You would soonest be rid of the last, my dear general, and my advice

is to take her."

"Old as she is, sir, a king would have to plead hard to get her

consent. We will make them some punch, that they may see we were

mindful of them in their absence."

To work these worthies now went in earnest, in order to anticipate

the arrival of the party, and as the different compounds were in the

course of mingling, the conversation did not flag. By this time both

the salt-water and the fresh-water sailor were in that condition when

men are apt to think aloud, and the commodore had lost all his awe of

his companion.

"My dear sir," said the former, "I am a thousand times sorry you came

from that river, for, to tell you my mind without any concealment, my

only objection to you is that you are not of the middle states. I

admit the good qualities of the Yankees, in a general way, and yet

they are the very worst neighbours that a man can have."

"This is a new character of them, commodore, as they generally pass

for the best, in their own eyes. I should like to hear you explain

your meaning."

"I call him a bad neighbour who never remains long enough in a place

to love any thing but himself. Now, sir, I have a feeling for every

pebble on the shore of this lake, a sympathy with every wave,"--here

the commodore began to twirl his hand about, with the fingers

standing apart, like so many spikes in a _che-vaux-de-frise_--"and

each hour, as I row across it, I find I like it better; and yet, sir,

would you believe me, I often go away of a morning to pass the day on

the water, and, on returning home at night, find half the houses

filled with new faces."

"What becomes of the old ones?" demanded Captain Truck; for this, it

struck him, was getting the better of him with his own weapons. "Do

you mean that the people come and go like the tides?"

"Exactly so, sir; just as it used to be with the herrings in the

Otsego, before the. Susquehannah was dammed, and is still, with the

swallows."

"Well, well, my good friend, take consolation. You'll meet all the

faces you ever saw here, one day in heaven."

"Never; not a man of them will stay there, if there be such a thing

as moving. Depend on it, sir," added the commodore, in the simplicity

of his heart, "heaven is no place for a Yankee, if he can get farther

west, by hook or by crook. They are all too uneasy for any steady

occupation. You, who are a navigator, must know something concerning

the stars; is there such a thing as another world, that lies west of

this?"

"That can hardly be, commodore, since the points of the compass only

refer to objects on this earth. You know, I suppose, that a man

starting from this spot, and travelling due west, would arrive, in

time, at this very point, coming in from the east; so that what is

west to us, in the heavens, on this side of the world, is east to

those on the other."

"This I confess I did not know, general. I have understood that what

is good in one man's eyes, will be bad in another's; but never before

have I heard that what is west to one man, lies east to another. I am

afraid, general, that there is a little of the sogdollager bait in

this?"

"Not enough, sir, to catch the merest fresh-water gudgeon that swims.

No, no; there is neither east nor west off the earth, nor any up and

down; and so we Yankees must try and content ourselves with heaven.

Now, commodore, hand me the bowl, and we will get it ready down to

the shore, and offer the ladies our homage. And so you have become a

laker in your religion, my dear commodore," continued the general,

between his teeth, while he smoked and squeezed a lemon at the same

time, "and do your worshipping on the water?"

"Altogether of late, and more especially since my dream."

"Dream! My dear sir, I should think you altogether too innocent a man

to dream."

"The best of us have our failings, general. I do sometimes dream, I

own, as well as the greatest sinner of them all."

"And of what did you dream--the sogdollager?"

"I dreamt of death."

"Of slipping the cable!" cried the general, looking up suddenly.

"Well, what was the drift?"

"Why, sir, having no wings, I went down below, and soon found myself

in the presence of the old gentleman himself."

"That was pleasant--had he a tail? I have always been curious to know

whether he really has a tail or not."

"I saw none, sir, but then we stood face to face, like gentlemen, and

I cannot describe what I did not see."

"Was he glad to see you, commodore?"

"Why, sir; he was civilly spoken, but his occupation prevented many

compliments."

"Occupation!"

"Certainly, sir; he was cutting out shoes, for his imps to travel

about in, in order to stir up mischief."

"And did he set you to work?--This is a sort of State-Prison affair,

after all!"

"No sir, he was too much of a gentleman to set me at making shoes as

soon as I arrived. He first inquired what part of the country I was

from, and when I told him, he was curious to know what most of the

people were about in our neighbourhood."

"You told him, of course, commodore?"

"Certainly, sir, I told him their chief occupation was quarrelling

about religion; making saints of them selves, and sinners of their

neighbours. 'Hollo!' says the Devil, calling out to one of his imps,

'boy, run and catch my horse--I must be off, and have a finger in

that pie. What denominations have you in that quarter, commodore? So

I told him, general, that we had Baptists, and Quakers, and

Universalists, and Episcopalians, and Presbyterians, old-lights, new-

lights, and blue-lights; and Methodists----. 'Stop,' said the Devil,

'that's enough; you imp, be nimble with that horse.--Let me see,

commodore, what, part of the country did you say you came from?' I

told him the name more distinctly this time----"

"The very spot?"

"Town and county."

"And what did the Devil say to that?"

"He called out to the imp, again--'Hollo, you boy, never mind that

horse; _these_ people will all be here before I can get there.'"

Here the commodore and the general began to laugh, until the arches

of the forest rang with their merriment. Three times they stopped,

and as often did they return to their glee, until, the punch being

ready, each took a fresh draught, in order to ascertain if it were

fit to be offered to the ladies.

ROMEO AND JULIET.

The usual effect of punch is to cause people to see double; but, on

this occasion, the mistake was the other way, for two boats had

touched the strand, instead of the one announced by the commodore,

and they brought with them the whole party from the Wigwam, Steadfast

and Aristabalus included. A domestic or two had also been brought to

prepare the customary repast.

Captain Truck was as good as his word, as respects the punch, and the

beverage was offered to each of the ladies in form, as soon as her

feet had touched the green sward which covers that beautiful spot.

Mrs. Hawker declined drinking, in a way to delight the gallant

seaman; for so completely had she got the better of all his habits

and prejudices, that every thing she did seemed right and gracious in

his eyes.

The party soon separated into groups, or pairs, some being seated on

the margin of the limpid water, enjoying the light cool airs, by

which it was fanned, others lay off in the boats fishing, while the

remainder plunged into the woods, that, in their native wildness,

bounded the little spot of verdure, which, canopied by old oaks,

formed the arena so lately in controversy. In this manner, an hour or

two soon slipped away, when a summons was given for all to assemble

around the viands.

The repast was laid on the grass, notwithstanding Aristabulus more

than hinted that the public, his beloved public, usually saw fit to

introduce rude tables for that purpose. The Messrs. Effinghams,

however, were not to be taught by a mere bird of passage, how a

rustic fete so peculiarly their own, ought to be conducted, and the

attendants were directed to spread the dishes on the turf. Around

this spot, rustic seats were _improvises_, and the business of

_restauration_ proceeded. Of all there assembled, the Parisian

feelings of Mademoiselle Viefville were the most excited; for to her,

the scene was one of pure delights, with the noble panorama of

forest-clad mountains, the mirror-like lake, the overshadowing oaks,

and the tangled brakes of the adjoining woods.

"_Mais, vraiment ceci surpasse les Tuileries, meme dans leur propre

genre_!" she exclaimed, with energy. "_On passer ait volontiers par

les dangers du desert pour y parvenir_."

Those who understood her, smiled at this characteristic remark, and

most felt disposed to join in the enthusiasm. Still, the manner in

which their companions expressed the happiness they felt, appeared

tame and unsatisfactory to Mr. Bragg and Mr. Dodge, these two persons

being accustomed to see the young of the two sexes indulge in broader

exhibitions of merry-making than those in which it comported with the

tastes and habits of the present party to indulge. In vain Mrs.

Hawker, in her quiet dignified way, enjoyed the ready wit and

masculine thoughts of Mrs.