"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 by being human script writers (the kiss of deception read online TXT) 📕

not like you
get interested in people every
day. I don't want to discourage
it.
GEORGE
(fidgets)
She wouldn’t be interested in me.
MITCHELL
I’ll ask. You want me to ask?
GEORGE
No! Christ, this is so...
playground.
MITCHELL
Well, welcome to being a bloke.
Believe me, none of us emerge
from this exactly covered in
glory.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 37.
55 CONTINUED: 55
(CONTINUED)
GEORGE
Why are you so anxious to pair
her off with me?
MITCHELL
I want you to be happy! I’m not
trying to pair you off, that’s...
that’s daft. Let me talk to her.
I’m not like you, I can actually
talk to a woman without weeping
or setting fire to myself.
GEORGE
I don’t know. I don’t know. Let
me think about it.
George starts to walk away. Mitchell looks down. His hand
is shaking. He stuffs it in his pocket. George has stopped.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Oh yeah. Have you seen my phone?
56 INT. THE HOUSE. MORNING 3. 09:42. 56
Annie is looking at the mobile phone in her hand. She’s
typed a text message. It reads:
‘Tap in kitchen making very odd noises. Cld u come +
repair? This afternoon good. Hope UR well. From george.’
She presses ‘send’. Then swallows. No turning back now.
57 EXT. THE HOSPITAL. GROUNDS. AFTERNOON 3. 13:06. 57
A little square in the hospital grounds. A smattering of
nurses and doctors. A hole has been dug, a tree planted. A
caretaker is shovelling in the last of the earth. A middle
aged couple that must be Lauren’s parents watch the
proceedings, still in wide-eyed shock. George hunches up
against the wind.
58 INT. THE HOSPITAL. STAFF TOILETS. AFTERNOON 3. 14:12. 58
George, alone in the hospital staff toilets. He washes his
face, rubs his eyes wearily and looks at himself in the
mirror. Nothing behind him in the reflection but the
opposite wall. He starts tugging off his tie. A hand
touches his shoulder.
LAUREN
Boo.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 38.
55 CONTINUED: (2) 55
(CONTINUED)
George almost jumps out of his skin. But the bigger shock
is when he spins around and sees who it is.
GEORGE
Lauren...?
LAUREN
Surprise.
She looks amazing. Her eyes glow a brilliant, dazzling
green. Her hair is as red as fire. She seems to swirl up
out of nowhere, out of shadows. She’s grinning darkly.
Hungrily. She looks beautiful. Ferocious.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Enjoy my memorial service? Shame
Mitchell couldn’t make it. Maybe
he’ll come to your one.
George scrambles back away from her. But he doesn’t cry
out. Lauren looms over him, moving closer... closer...
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Your face. This must be
confusing. Let me explain: Before
I died I had this one odd last
thought. And now I’m going to
make it yours. You know all the
things you were scared of as a
kid? All the monsters under the
bed?
She is barely an inch away from him now, her eyes burning
black, her voice a hiss in his ear.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
They’re all real.
She stops. Regards George for a moment. Straightens up.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Ok, I’m kind of new to this, but
aren’t you supposed to weep or
scream or wee yourself? I’ve
never loomed up on someone before
and I was really looking forward
to it.
GEORGE
Mitchell did this to you?
The grin has gone now. She stares at George with cold fury.
LAUREN
You know? You know what he is?
And then something else - a realisation.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 39.
58 CONTINUED: 58
(CONTINUED)
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Wait a sec. C’mere.
She tugs George close to her again, studies him.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Oh my God.
She pushes George back. Grossed out.
LAUREN (CONT’D)
Ew. Creepy.
She backs away. And she's gone.
59 INT. THE HOSPITAL. CORRIDOR. AFTERNOON 3. 14:27. 59
Mitchell is mopping a floor. George stomps towards him.
MITCHELL
Do me a favour. There’s some
bacon in the fridge at home, it
goes off at midnight, could you -
George punches him in the face. Mitchell staggers back,
more from shock than the blow itself.
GEORGE
Guess who I just saw.
Mitchell rubs his jaw.
MITCHELL
Yoko Ono.
George hits him again.
GEORGE
I manage my condition. I hide in
a shitty bloody cellar or the
middle of a forest. But you? You
buy a bottle of wine and a packet
of condoms! What is the point of
us trying to build some kind of
normality when you’re attacking
our friends and turning them into *
monsters? For Christ’s sake, we
knew her. You let me go to her
bloody memorial!
MITCHELL
How the hell do you think I've
survived for the last 100 years?
You can't just avert your eyes
when it suits you.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 40.
58 CONTINUED: (2) 58
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
I didn’t hear you complaining
when I saved you from those other
vampires. There’s no escape from
it. I’m not like you, I don’t
have days off. This is what I am.
GEORGE
Then why are we even trying?
They stare at each other. There’s nothing more to say.
George turns and walks away. Mitchell is left, winded.
Becca approaches from the other direction.
BECCA
Hey. Oh shit, sorry, can I walk
there? Did you just mop that?
MITCHELL
It’s fine.
BECCA
So do you want to go out for a
drink with me?
Mitchell turns to her - what?
BECCA (CONT’D)
Yep, I’ve made a decision, no
more procrastination. I’ve been
meaning to do it for ages, but
kept putting it off. That sounded
so much funnier in the Ladies.
Mitchell looks at her for a long time.
MITCHELL
What the hell.
60 INT. THE HOUSE. BATHROOM. AFTERNOON 3. 14:33. 60
A mirror. The sound of hairspray. Suddenly Annie
straightens up and looks at her reflection. Her hair is
wild and blow dried. She looks terrifying.
ANNIE
AAAHHHHHHHHHH!
CUT TO:
Later. That’s better. She looks like herself again. She
adopts a peaceful, celestial expression.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 41.
59 CONTINUED: 59
MITCHELL (CONT'D)
(CONTINUED)
ANNIE (CONT’D)
Be not afraid.
She sighs. That just sounds stupid. Pulls a spooky face.
ANNIE (CONT’D)
WoooOOOOooooOOOO.
She slumps and looks flatly at herself. No funny faces,
nothing. Just herself. Very frightened.
61 INT. THE HOUSE. GENERAL. AFTERNOON 3. 15:21. 61
Annie’s working out the best place to present herself. She
stands in the centre of the living room. Sits. Stands
again.
CUT TO:
She tries the kitchen, appearing suddenly from behind the
door. No, too weird.
CUT TO:
She’s gone back to standing in the centre of the living
room. She waits. She looks at her watch.
CUT TO:
62 INT. THE HOUSE. LIVING ROOM. AFTERNOON 3. 16:02. 62
Bored now, Annie is sat on the floor, leaning against the
wall watching TV. 3 or 4 mugs of tea around her.
The doorbell rings. Annie sits bolt upright. Oh Christ.
Silence. Then the doorbell rings again.
Annie stands in the centre of the room and prepares
herself. But at the sound of a key in the lock, her courage
fails her. She scrambles around the corner and flattens
herself against the wall as Owen steps through the door.
OWEN
George? It’s Owen. Mitchell?
Annie takes a deep breath. Ok, here goes...
OWEN (CONT’D)
The TV’s on.
Annie stops, frowns, who’s he talking to?
And we see a woman step through the door behind him.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 42.
60 CONTINUED: 60
(CONTINUED)
JANEY
Maybe he popped out.
OWEN
(calls out again)
Hello? I rang the doorbell...!
(to the woman)
You don’t have to do this, Janey.
You can wait in the car.
Annie’s jaw is on her chest. She mouths miserably to
herself - Janey Harris...!
JANEY
It’s fine. I want to.
OWEN
You think I should turn this off?
Owen is moving towards the TV, towards Annie. She panics.
She’s trapped. Owen walks into view. Annie gasps. Owen
turns and looks right at her, rigid, flat against the wall.
OWEN (CONT’D)
You say something?
JANEY
What?
OWEN
Did you say something?
He’s looking right through Annie. He can’t see her.
JANEY
You’re hearing things... You
going to look at this tap?
Owen doesn’t move for a moment. Just stares at / through
Annie. Then he turns the TV off and walks back towards the
kitchen, away from Annie.
OWEN
Yeah. It could take a while.
Really, go and wait in the car.
He disappears into the kitchen. Annie tentatively peers
around the corner, watching them.
JANEY (O.S.)
And miss you doing D.I.Y? It’d be
like missing an eclipse.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 43.
62 CONTINUED: 62
63 INT. THE HOUSE. KITCHEN. AFTERNOON 3. 16:04. CONTINUOUS. 63
Owen stands over the sink. Runs the tap. Janey watches him.
JANEY
You alright?
OWEN
Yeah, I suppose. It’s weird being
here.
Owen crouches, looks at the pipes under the sink. Bangs
them a bit. It’s all a bit cursory.
OWEN (CONT’D)
I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’ll come back later.
The sound of a key in the lock.
64 INT. THE HOUSE. LIVING ROOM. AFTERNOON 3. 16:04.CONTINUOUS 64
The front door opens. It's George. The first thing he sees
as he steps inside is Annie, peeping around the corner of
the living room, with a look of frozen wide-eyed horror.
GEORGE
Oh. Hello.
(beat)
What?
He follows her eyes round to find Owen and Janey standing
in the doorway to the kitchen behind him. George yells.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
AHHHHhhhhhello!
OWEN
Hi, George, sorry, we rang the
doorbell, but no one answered.
George spins a little on the spot, back and forth, looking
from Annie to Owen and Janey. Can’t they see her?
GEORGE
No, no, no, it’s fine, it’s...
OWEN
I got your text.
GEORGE
My text.
OWEN
About the tap.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 44.
(CONTINUED)
GEORGE
The tap.
OWEN
Yeah. You texted me. About the
tap.
GEORGE
(the penny drops)
Riiiiight. “The tap”.
(louder, for Annie’s
benefit)
But how silly of me, telling you
to come when I wouldn’t be here.
OWEN
Sorry, I haven’t introduced you.
This is my partner, Janey.
That gets George’s attention.
GEORGE
Janey...?
JANEY
Harris. Hi.
GEORGE
(ouch)
Right. Hello.
He glances back over his shoulder. Annie is still in plain
view but obviously only to George. She’s sat back on the
floor with her knees up, her head buried in her arms.
OWEN
I think I’ll have to come back,
take a look at the tank in the
attic. When are you, uh, not in?
I don’t want to disturb you.
GEORGE
Hard to say. There’s usually
someone here.
OWEN
I’ll pop by later in the week.
Owen and Janey start moving towards the door.
JANEY
It was nice to meet you.
GEORGE
Yeah. And you.
"Being Human" Episode 1 SHOOTING SCRIPT 17th September 2008 45.
64 CONTINUED: 64
(CONTINUED)
They take their leave and go. George shuts the door. Annie
is still bunched up on the floor.
GEORGE (CONT’D)
Annie -
And suddenly she’s up on her feet, in the middle of the
room. Angry, tearful, punchy.
ANNIE
Look. I just thought if I
explained... You don’t know him,
you don’t know how he’d react.
But I knew if he saw me again
he’d...
And the tears start and her voice starts to crack.
ANNIE (CONT’D)
But he’s got someone else. And
now she gets to kiss him and
watch him shave and laugh and I’m
still in the clothes I died in. I
get nothing. I get the memories
and a house I can never
completely leave and you. SHE
GETS HIM AND I GET YOU.
She slides down the wall opposite, her head in her hands,
and weeps and weeps. George doesn't know