Little Women by Louisa May Alcott (dark academia books to read txt) 📕

it at all. You’ll see that I’m right, by-and-by, and thank me for it…” she began solemnly.

“I’ll be hanged if I do!” and Laurie bounced up off the grass, burning with indignation at the very idea.

“Yes, you will!” persisted Jo. “You’ll get over this after a while, and find some lovely accomplished girl, who will adore you, and make a fine mistress for your fine house. I shouldn’t. I’m homely and awkward and odd and old, and you’d be ashamed of me, and we should quarrel—we can’t help it even now, you see—and I shouldn’t like elegant society and you would, and you’d hate my scribbling, and I couldn’t get on without it, and we should be unhappy, and wish we hadn’t done it, and everything would be horrid!”

“Anything more?” asked Laurie, finding it hard to listen patiently to this prophetic burst.

“Nothing more, except that I don’t believe I shall ever marry. I’m happy as I am, and love my liberty too well to be in a hurry to give it up for any mortal man.”

“I know better!” broke in Laurie. “You think so now, but there’ll come a time when you will care for somebody, and you’ll love him tremendously, and live and die for him. I know you will, it’s your way, and I shall have to stand by and see it,” and the despairing lover cast his hat upon the ground with a gesture that would have seemed comical, if his face had not been so tragic.

“Yes, I will live and die for him, if he ever comes and makes me love him in spite of myself, and you must do the best you can!” cried Jo, losing patience with poor Teddy. “I’ve done my best, but you won’t be reasonable, and it’s selfish of you to keep teasing for what I can’t give. I shall always be fond of you, very fond indeed, as a friend, but I’ll never marry you, and the sooner you believe it the better for both of us—so now!”

That speech was like gunpowder. Laurie looked at her a minute as if he did not quite know what to do with himself, then turned sharply away, saying in a desperate sort of tone, “You’ll be sorry some day, Jo.”

“Oh, where are you going?” she cried, for his face frightened her.

“To the devil!” was the consoling answer.

For a minute Jo’s heart stood still, as he swung himself down the bank toward the river, but it takes much folly, sin or misery to send a young man to a violent death, and Laurie was not one of the weak sort who are conquered by a single failure. He had no thought of a melodramatic plunge, but some blind instinct led him to fling hat and coat into his boat, and row away with all his might, making better time up the river than he had done in any race. Jo drew a long breath and unclasped her hands as she watched the poor fellow trying to outstrip the trouble which he carried in his heart.

“That will do him good, and he’ll come home in such a tender, penitent state of mind, that I shan’t dare to see him,” she said, adding, as she went slowly home, feeling as if she had murdered some innocent thing, and buried it under the leaves. “Now I must go and prepare Mr. Laurence to be very kind to my poor boy. I wish he’d love Beth, perhaps he may in time, but I begin to think I was mistaken about her. Oh dear! How can girls like to have lovers and refuse them? I think it’s dreadful.”

Being sure that no one could do it so well as herself, she went straight to Mr. Laurence, told the hard story bravely through, and then broke down, crying so dismally over her own insensibility that the kind old gentleman, though sorely disappointed, did not utter a reproach. He found it difficult to understand how any girl could help loving Laurie, and hoped she would change her mind, but he knew even better than Jo that love cannot be forced, so he shook his head sadly and resolved to carry his boy out of harm’s way, for Young Impetuosity’s parting words to Jo disturbed him more than he would confess.

When Laurie came home, dead tired but quite composed, his grandfather met him as if he knew nothing, and kept up the delusion very successfully for an hour or two. But when they sat together in the twilight, the time they used to enjoy so much, it was hard work for the old man to ramble on as usual, and harder still for the young one to listen to praises of the last year’s success, which to him now seemed like love’s labor lost. He bore it as long as he could, then went to his piano and began to play. The window’s were open, and Jo, walking in the garden with Beth, for once understood music better than her sister, for he played the ‘Sonata Pathetique‘, and played it as he never did before.

“That’s very fine, I dare say, but it’s sad enough to make one cry. Give us something gayer, lad,” said Mr. Laurence, whose kind old heart was full of sympathy, which he longed to show but knew not how.

Laurie dashed into a livelier strain, played stormily for several minutes, and would have got through bravely, if in a momentary lull Mrs. March’s voice had not been heard calling, “Jo, dear, come in. I want you.”

Just what Laurie longed to say, with a different meaning! As he listened, he lost his place, the music ended with a broken chord, and the musician sat silent in the dark.

“I can’t stand this,” muttered the old gentleman. Up he got, groped his way to the piano, laid a kind hand on either of the broad shoulders, and said, as gently as a woman, “I know, my boy, I know.”

No answer for an instant, then Laurie asked sharply, “Who told you?”

“Jo herself.”

“Then there’s an end of it!” And he shook off his grandfather’s hands with an impatient motion, for though grateful for the sympathy, his man’s pride could not bear a man’s pity.

“Not quite. I want to say one thing, and then there shall be an end of it,” returned Mr. Laurence with unusual mildness. “You won’t care to stay at home now, perhaps?”

“I don’t intend to run away from a girl. Jo can’t prevent my seeing her, and I shall stay and do it as long as I like,” interrupted Laurie in a defiant tone.

“Not if you are the gentleman I think you. I’m disappointed, but the girl can’t help it, and the only thing left for you to do is to go away for a time. Where will you go?”

“Anywhere. I don’t care what becomes of me,” and Laurie got up with a reckless laugh that grated on his grandfather’s ear.

“Take it like a man, and don’t do anything rash, for God’s sake. Why not go abroad, as you planned, and forget it?”

“I can’t.”

“But you’ve been wild to go, and I promised you should when you got through college.”

“Ah, but I didn’t mean to go alone!” and Laurie walked fast through the room with an expression which it was well his grandfather did not see.

“I don’t ask you to go alone. There’s someone ready and glad to go with you, anywhere in the world.”

“Who, Sir?” stopping to listen.

“Myself.”

Laurie came back as quickly as he went, and put out his hand, saying huskily, “I’m a selfish brute, but—you know—Grandfather—”

“Lord help me, yes, I do know, for I’ve been through it all before, once in my own young days, and then with your father. Now, my dear boy, just sit quietly down and hear my plan. It’s all settled, and can be carried out at once,” said Mr. Laurence, keeping hold of the young man, as if fearful that he would break away as his father had done before him.

“Well, sir, what is it?” and Laurie sat down, without a sign of interest in face or voice.

“There is business in London that needs looking after. I meant you should attend to it, but I can do it better myself, and things here will get on very well with Brooke to manage them. My partners do almost everything, I’m merely holding on until you take my place, and can be off at any time.”

“But you hate traveling, Sir. I can’t ask it of you at your age,” began Laurie, who was grateful for the sacrifice, but much preferred to go alone, if he went at all.

The old gentleman knew that perfectly well, and particularly desired to prevent it, for the mood in which he found his grandson assured him that it would not be wise to leave him to his own devices. So, stifling a natural regret at the thought of the home comforts he would leave behind him, he said stoutly, “Bless your soul, I’m not superannuated yet. I quite enjoy the idea. It will do me good, and my old bones won’t suffer, for traveling nowadays is almost as easy as sitting in a chair.”

A restless movement from Laurie suggested that his chair was not easy, or that he did not like the plan, and made the old man add hastily, “I don’t mean to be a marplot or a burden. I go because I think you’d feel happier than if I was left behind. I don’t intend to gad about with you, but leave you free to go where you like, while I amuse myself in my own way. I’ve friends in London and Paris, and should like to visit them. Meantime you can go to Italy, Germany, Switzerland, where you will, and enjoy pictures, music, scenery, and adventures to your heart’s content.”

Now, Laurie felt just then that his heart was entirely broken and the world a howling wilderness, but at the sound of certain words which the old gentleman artfully introduced into his closing sentence, the broken heart gave an unexpected leap, and a green oasis or two suddenly appeared in the howling wilderness. He sighed, and then said, in a spiritless tone, “Just as you like, Sir. It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do.”

“It does to me, remember that, my lad. I give you entire liberty, but I trust you to make an honest use of it. Promise me that, Laurie.”

“Anything you like, Sir.”

“Good,” thought the old gentleman. “You don’t care now, but there’ll come a time when that promise will keep you out of mischief, or I’m much mistaken.”

Being an energetic individual, Mr. Laurence struck while the iron was hot, and before the blighted being recovered spirit enough to rebel, they were off. During the time necessary for preparation, Laurie bore himself as young gentleman usually do in such cases. He was moody, irritable, and pensive by turns, lost his appetite, neglected his dress and devoted much time to playing tempestuously on his piano, avoided Jo, but consoled himself by staring at her from his window, with a tragic face that haunted her dreams by night and oppressed her with a heavy sense of guilt by day. Unlike some sufferers, he never spoke of his unrequited passion, and would allow no one, not even Mrs. March, to attempt consolation or offer sympathy. On some accounts, this was a relief to his friends, but the weeks before his departure were very uncomfortable, and everyone rejoiced that the ‘poor, dear fellow was going away to forget his trouble, and come home happy’. Of course, he smiled darkly at their delusion, but passed it by with the sad superiority of one who knew that his